Secret cake and unlearning bad eating habits

Weight Maintenance after workLast night I did not, as my WW leader says, Stop-Rest-Assess.  I ate my dinner, walked briskly to the pantry, and helped myself to a large piece of left-over cake that my wife made for our family christmas gathering last weekend.  Not only did I eat the cake, but I ate it in the pantry secretly where my wife couldn’t see me from her vantage point in the living room.  I don’t necessarily even like cake.  In my mind, the lie of getting my weight maintenance program going correctly after the next weigh-in (Wednesday’s) was running rampant.  I should have “Stopped-Rested-and Assessed”.

I re-learned so many bad habits while I was training for the  Rocky Raccoon 100 mile endurance run.  I wish I never started running that much sometimes. I gave up the pursuit as to give my wife and my life more of me.  The thing is, the 15 hours of running that I did every week unknowingly gave my “fat” mind the license to not Stop-Rest-and Assess before I ate.  I knew that I could manage having extra points because I was getting like 100+ activity points a week.

I am having a tough time getting back to the good habits learned while I was losing the 130lbs.  I don’t run as much now (which is probably a good and balanced decision) so I need to keep better track of what I am putting in the “cake hole”.  One thing I know for sure though, and the blog is helping me with this, NO SECRET EATING ALLOWED.  This is a very unhealthy habit.

I am going to pop back up and get going the healthy way.  Thank God I have good support from my wife.  I told her about the cake and we threw it and some other tempting food away right then and there.  I get scared of gaining it back sometimes, but I can see very plainly that I am not where I used to be, but I still have so far to go.

18 Responses to “Secret cake and unlearning bad eating habits”

  1. 1 somedayistoday
    December 23, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    Good job on not keeping it a secret, they say “we’re only as sick as our secrets”! Learning Balance is not an easy task. Now that you’re not running ALL the time, it’s got to be hard to balance a normal eating and exercise program for your maintenance. You are an inspiration and I know you can do it! You are on the right track with looking at the “fat guy’s” mind. I know for me, a lot of my perspectives on things have MUCH to do with my choices in everyday life. You’re doing a GREAT job and thanks for the honest blogging!

    • 2 run4change
      December 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm

      Wow! I really, really needed that. OK, it’s gonna be OK. Thanks so much for your encouragement. Isn’t it amazing how just a few sentences can make such a whopping difference.

  2. 3 elisep1766
    December 23, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    run4change, thanks for your honesty. How many times have I raided the ice cream, hoping no one would notice. But it’s not really the ice cream I’m eating, is it? It’s the anxiety, fear, guilt, regrets, all mixed with sugar and cream and chocolate to make it easier to swallow. Good for you, throwing that stuff away! Be well and have a wonderful holiday!

    • 4 run4change
      December 23, 2008 at 6:15 pm

      Very well put, you got right down to business with that comment. Fantastic comment: “But it’s not really the ice cream I’m eating, is it? It’s the anxiety, fear, guilt, regrets, all mixed with sugar and cream and chocolate to make it easier to swallow”

  3. 5 somedayistoday
    December 23, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    Well said!

  4. 6 inrelentlesspursuitoftruth
    December 23, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    Thankyou so much for your support and encouragement! Please can I subscribe to your blog? And you are more than welcome to read/ comment on my blog at any time. I’d always love to hear from you. Praise Him that He is our freedom and our Healer 🙂

    • 7 run4change
      December 23, 2008 at 8:07 pm

      Most certainly. And thanks for your support here as well. All who read your blog will be comforted by your love and your story.

  5. December 24, 2008 at 1:16 am

    Newcomer to the blog and love it. I love the “You can lose weight page.” Just looking at the pictures says that. It’s also good to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with old habits. During soccer season I would run around 50 miles a week. I could eat anything but I stayed away from sweets and carbonation. Still carb loading doesn’t work when I’m not running that much.

    There will always be something new for me to learn. Thanks for sharing.

    • 9 run4change
      December 24, 2008 at 4:16 am

      I am always open to learn also. It is a special gift to be a teachable person. Thanks for stopping by.

  6. 10 charleshbaker
    December 24, 2008 at 1:50 am

    @run4change Great job. It takes courage to admit something like secret eating. I know I’ve done the same in the past, wolfing down a piece of cake in the kitchen so no one will see me eating it. Feeling guilty even though no one was on my case to lose weight. I’ve done the same with alcohol, waiting for everyone to go to sleep before getting a drink so they won’t think I’m drinking too much. Realizing it and admitting it out loud are steps to conquering it. Again, you are to be commended.

    • 11 run4change
      December 24, 2008 at 4:15 am

      Oh man, I’ve done the same thing with alcohol. Those were BAD times. No more alcohol for me now. I loved the comment and thanks a lot for coming by again. Have a great holiday and great job on your weight loss.

  7. 12 cecile
    December 25, 2008 at 7:50 am

    wish I had someone to hide from. Being alone “no one can see” but I know what I’m doing is wrong. Glad WW was cancelled so I can get back on track now that I scarfed the balance of the goodies. I should of taken the veggies home at our gathering instead of the cake!!!!!!
    See you at the next weigh in.

  8. December 25, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    I sometimes do things contradictory (or so it seems) to weight loss, but essential to keep my psychology in check. If I were feeling like I needed to eat cake and wanted to hide that I was eating cake, I would force myself to eat it in front of whomever I was hiding from. I might feel embarrassed, but it’s better than any shame, guilt, or diet-guilt leading to a binge that I might otherwise feel. And hopefully whoever I was with would realize that even those of us losing or maintaining weight loss eat dessert sometimes. So, I’d still eat the cake, instead of trying to convince myself not to, but I’d take the emotional triggers away from it.

    • 14 run4change
      December 25, 2008 at 8:06 pm

      Very thoughtful, clever, and effective idea. Thanks for the info. Thanks also for coming by to visit and leaving such a wonderful comment. I will try that next time. I have used similar strategy in the past.

      Thanks again

  9. 15 run4change
    January 13, 2009 at 6:00 am

    Thanks for the link Charles. It is appreciated. I think this topic is a helpful topic to all on our journey you know.

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