Being a married person carries with it a variety of time constraints. This is a normal part of the knot being tied. For this Q&A session at run4change, the first question to come in was regarding this wonderful aspect of life. Being married and losing weight all at the same time. How did I do it? First of all, my wife always wanted me to lose weight. Not so much before we were married, but later on when she began to think of having her husband die young.. She never focused on the looks of it but rather the health of it. That is when she began to desire it. So I always had her support.
I also need to be honest about my struggle with balance, not only with fitness and marriage, but in all aspects of my life. I tend to the extreme. I go for it really hard in what ever I am doing. I get things done very well, but I have the tendency to leave other important things behind. Running is a prime example. It was no problem at first, but as the races got longer so did the training. Finally, this last summer while I was in the bulk of my training for a 100 miler, it all exploded. Audrey was missing me, I wasn’t getting anything that I wanted done around the house done, and I had absolutely no free time. This hurt my wife and I feel really bad for that. I gave up the 100 miler to be with her more and to live a more balanced life. Here are a couple of things that I changed in order to attain more balance between fitness, weight loss, and marriage.
- I focused on what was actually the most important things and calculated the costs. For me, the 100 miler was an ultimate dream, but at what cost. I realized I was not willing to pay the price to attain the 100 miler at this time in my life. So I focused on the most important things like: keeping the weight off, to keep eating healthy, go to my meetings, and exercise regularly. I had to realize that a 30 minute run on Tuesday would get the job done and that I did not have to run 3 hours.
- I began to let my wife chose the places we went out to eat more often. This was more balanced and added more variety. It also forced me to learn how to eat at places that I did not have a plan for. Before this, I was very stringent on where I went and it probably really sucked for my wife. I remember getting in a fight because I thought we should go to Subway for our special dinner. 🙂
- I started doing fitness activities that my wife wanted to do for recreation. Skiing is a good example of this. I did NOT want to go skiing. My wife really wanted to learn and explore it. So in the name of love and balance, I went along with it knowing that it is another way to get my activity in. I liked it once I went too.
Recap: I am horrible at balance but I am learning how to do it more as my journey continues. Finding balance between fitness and marriage is a function of focusing in on the truly important things on your journey and trying to incorporate your spouse anyway you can.