This week is coming to a close


This week has been kind of crazy as far as the weight loss journey goes.  It was pretty much a roller coaster ride of temptation, victory, exercise, laziness, moderation, and over indulgence.  That is how real life is though I guess.  Last night I went skiing with my wife again.  I had a good time but it was so cold and icy there.  Not the funnest conditions but not the worst by any means.  My wife is doing so good at it.  She is learning so well and for her to be able to ski on that icy stuff on only her third time skiing, I think she kicked butt.  I kicked butt skiing last night too, but on the way home I ate a lot of chips and I didn’t count them.

Today I am totally exhausted.  I am supposed to go on a long run but all I want to do is lay down and watch movies.  I don’t even care about food or eating.  I just want to lay down.  I am at work right now.  Got home from the mountain around 11:30, got up at 4:30 and now I am at work and have to think about going running.  Oh well.  That is life. 

I am having a bit of a hard time with my motivation for running lately.  I don’t mean I am not motivated to run, I am just not motivated to run enough to do all the races I originally planned on doing.  I want to do them so bad, but at the same time deep in the recesses of my mind I am think I should not do any of them and just run to enjoy it and keep off the weight.  I am not sure what I am going to do.  I really would like to do the 40 miler for sure.  That is such a neat race it is one I would like to do every year for a long long time.  Anyway, I am going to go sneak off somewhere and take a nap.  Just kidding, but I would like to.

15 Responses to “This week is coming to a close”

  1. January 18, 2009 at 8:29 am

    I was just reading on another blog someone trying to decide what they should do with their running and they have decided not to wear their Garmin anymore, not care about a PR, and just get out there and do it for fun. Maybe you do need to have one race that you do, but then just get out there and run for fun. I think that if you are having questions about it or are lacking that motivation you had maybe it is time to step back a little from the races and get back out there just for fun, for a maintenance tool for maintaining your weight loss. If you are exhausted and need a rest take a rest. People tell me all the time to listen to what my body is telling me. That’s what it sounds like you need to do. Take a rest, it’s ok (just not at work). Take some races off your list, it’s ok. Do the 40 miler and then go from there. You know just like the rest of us here if you lose that motivation it is hard to keep going. Do what you need to do and we’ll be here for you. We will not think any less of you cause you only have the 40 miler on your list of races. Some of our race seasons with more than 1 race in them don’t even equal 40 miles, so doing a 40 miler is nothing to sneeze at. Think about where you were, why you started running in the first place, and where you want to be in the future. Get back to that happy place and the motivation for races will return. I think that sometimes when we lose weight and start to be more active we feel like we have to sign up for events and then the events can start to define us and we can end up being unhappy. I have to realize that with me and triathlons. My ultimate goal is to do and Ironman before I am 40. That is swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112, and running 26.2 all in 17 hours. I have to remember along that way that if I do not make that goal it is ok. I have to look at where I came from and how much better off I am because of my training and that it is ok if I do not do an Ironman. It will not make me anymore or less of a person. I’m not saying that is happening to you, but just some thoughts I had after reading your post.

    Take care my friend,

    PS. The Word hasn’t been good lately thanks for asking, how about you?

  2. January 18, 2009 at 9:23 am

    Hang in there! Sometimes you do need a relaxing day!

  3. 5 Donna
    January 18, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Im new at this ,but from what Ive been reading through your story about your journey it seems to me that you give so much of yourself to helping others that you really dont take time for you.Please relax and look at all youve accomplished and give to you for a change.God Bless.Donna

  4. 7 Candice
    January 18, 2009 at 10:20 am

    If you don’t mind me asking, what type of business are you in?

    I find your blog more encouraging and positive than the WW website and used the following quote of yours to assist me in getting through the past few evenings without eating more once I’ve used my points: “Although you may be a wee bit hungry, isn’t it great to end the night knowing you did just right on your program.”

    I’m also encouraged to start to try and jog (not run) again from your blog. I also never thought I could run but about 2 years ago, I came across The Couch to 5k Running Article (which you have a link to on your blog) and was actually able to do it by following that article. Unfortunately, I did not have the right shoes and sprained by ankle and put jogging aside ever since. I think I have appropriate shoes now, so I’ll get back to The Couch article today and start at the beginning. So thanks for the encouragement for not over eating and with exercising.

    I look forward to checking out your blog ever day now. Thanks for the encouraging words. You are really assisting a lot of people.


    • 8 run4change
      January 18, 2009 at 10:26 am

      You know Candice. I really appreciate your words. I am glad that this site can encourage you. I find the WW forums pretty comforting, but every once and a while some meanies pop into the discussion and ruin on the love and growth. It is true that on a blog you moderate the comments and can erase the ones that the meanies leave, but not one time have I had to do that. The readers here are fabulous as they encourage me greatly as well as the readers who are joining them on the journey. Great job on the C25K. THat is a wonderful and balanced program that I think is great. You will get back into running and it will be nice to be back I am sure. I am glad you will come on a daily basis. I look forward to getting know you better and wish you the best of luck. Thanks again

  5. January 18, 2009 at 11:35 am

    I would love to try skiiing! Enjoy!

  6. January 19, 2009 at 11:21 am

    As I read your blog, really for the first time although I snagged the link at some point in the last month, I am overwhelmed by how hard you are on yourself. Your success is just absolutely wonderful, you are such a handsome guy. It’s the self-punishing part that concerns me, that 3 or 5 or 10 miles is not enough. I’ve only read just a couple of entries, so I realize I may be talking out my ass:)

    I’ve lost 59 pounds since realizing I have diabetes and high cholesterol and do not want to go on medications for either. I finally got on the elliptical yesterday for 30 minutes yesterday, since I don’t seem to be able to get below 190 without exercise, plus I know it’s what I need to do, even if I was 120. One of my knees has already had surgery, so I know running is not for me.

    My brother had weight loss surgery and became an alcoholic. He died August 26th in a parking lot. He was an over the road truck driver and all alone when it happened at age 44. He’d already had two heart attacks but was not taking his blood pressure medication properly and drinking heavily. I’m not sure what his highest weight was, but I know he hit 400 plus. He lost huge pounds at least twice, but it was a see-saw situation. The mental is definitely as important as the physical.

    The extra skin around your middle DOES NOT MATTER. You are a beautiful person.

    • 12 run4change
      January 19, 2009 at 11:39 am

      pamajama, Thanks for your comment. Don’t feel to bad about me being hard on myself. This is something that I am working on and it is getting gloriously better. It is not so much that I am hard on myself regarding the miles, it is the “addictive” side of me that always says more is better. The only problem is that more is not always better. I truly appreciate you saying I am handsome and attractive even with loose skin. It may sound depressing and self loathing a bit at times, but I am just sharing the inner depths. As I told a person the other day, from the outside it looks like a horrible battle where I am beaten down and hard pressed, but the truth is that I am just living like any other person. I just happen to be sharing those little thoughts that come up at times that most people don’t share and when I do share them I write a lot about them. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Have a wonderful day.

    • 13 run4change
      January 19, 2009 at 11:58 am

      Sorry about your brother. That alcohol really takes life and joy away. I hate it.

  7. 14 Skinny chicklet
    January 19, 2009 at 11:23 am

    I read this post and thought of my husband. If I may, I’d like to share a few things with you from the spouse perspective.
    When Mike first started getting fit and running it was for his health. Then he realized how much he enjoyed running and how much it relaxed him, so he began to do it more. He began to work out 3 nights a week at the local gym for 2-3 hours, and then a long run on Saturday of 4+ hours, and a bike ride on Sunday of 50+ miles. That first year he competed in a triathlon or half marathon once a month. While he was fit and enjoying the feeling of accomplishment, he was like a pendulum that had swung too far the other direction. In the beginning he was a workaholic and came home, ate and watched TV, then when he began to get fit, his pendulum swung all the way to the other side. After about 18 months of the hard driving work-outs he began to realize that running the races wasn’t giving him the pleasure it once did. He found a balance of running a few days a week for an hour and one long run every other week. He still goes out for the long bike ride once a month during the summer and he competes in half marathons during the summer. He has found the joy of running again and no longer dreads it or feels like it’s a chore.
    As with any new thing we often go to the extreme and then work our way back to center.
    In our case we had young children and it affected the amount of time he had available to spend with them and me.

    • 15 run4change
      January 19, 2009 at 11:42 am

      Thanks for the comfort. For me this is the natural process of things. I go to the extreme and have to find my way back to middle ground. I am glad I read your comment.

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