Last week I had a full blown rebellion going on behind the scenes. I pulled through with the help of a friend, but it was a close one. I thought I would post the email I sent my friend so that you could experience my rebellion against health and weight watchers. So here is the email.
Here I sit. To everyone around me I appear to be doing great. I appear to be “strong and healthy” as the WW leaders say. I am strong and healthy but what the hell is going on inside my head. Here I am sitting down getting all upset because I can’t/shouldn’t go and eat as many donuts as I possible can. I want to drive off, enter into the dark portals of donutville and junk food heaven. Can’t seem to kick the thought out of my dang head. It makes me mad that I don’t go out and do it actually. I keep telling myself that I work hard and that what the heck. I deserve it. The only thing really keeping me back is that since I am probably going skiing tomorrow, I need to run tonight. And running on a stomach full of donuts sucks.
I am totally having a pity party over here. I want my freakin donuts. I know that many of you might tell me to go and have one. Splurge on the one donut and move on, but I don’t have any type of yearning for “one” donut. I want to eat them until I am full. It is sick I know. It will make me feel like crap mentally and physically I know. It will make me want to hide myself away and not tell anyone I know. I freakin know what to do but I don’t want to do it. From the last thread of strength in my body I do not want to do what is right. I want what is not the best path.
Ok, I think I am done rambling on about the damn donuts. Now I want to start about the pizza. Well, never mind. Don’t want anymore restriction. Want to let loose. Want to go hog wild on the junk and then lay on my side barely breathing. I want ten pieces of pizza then some ice cream. I don’t want the gosh dang Papa Murphy’s delite. I want peperroni, mushroom, and olive pizza. I can feel it rising up like a lion’s roar. I am holding it back with what I have but I don’t have that much right now. Will I make it. Will i just go running and not eat like a mad man.
I know why. I didn’t bring hardly any food to work because I was lately and the one manager I have was on vacation so I just rushed out the door with a little food. Help.
Sorry to bother you. I made a post about this but I decided to make it an email because I am starting to feel really bad that I do to many posts and the readers aren’t liking it anymore. HAHAHA. Dang, I guess I am in a serious funk. Three hours ago I was on top of the world putting up my moms pic post.
Do you guys ever just want to rebel against the healthy way of life?