25
Feb
09

Just what is it that makes you re-start? This is a long one about getting back on track.

image credit: restart-band.de

image credit: restart-band.de

 In response to a food “relapse” that I had a few days ago I receivedso many wonderful and encouraging responses.  Interestingly, many of the response I got focused on the positive side of me getting back on plan and moving on.  Out of all the comments I received, one of them was more of a question although it was still very encouraging.  Here is an excerpt from the comment:

“My comments echo what everyone else has written ……. but what I’m REALLY interested in is this: I feel the same as you do about eating unplanned for/off-plan food. ONE difference between us is that you curb these binges …….. and get back to business. I have/do not……… JUST WHAT IS IT that makes you re-start when you have a good hearty lapse.”

I was so inspired by this question that I wanted to write a post on it.  This is such a relevant question for everyone, whether they are on the health journey or not.  This is a question everyone asks themselves in some shape or form.  We all have our goals but we also all have our old way of life.  That old way of life is on the inside and it wants to come out, yet it is contrary to our new life.  Think about it:  You want to quit smoking and the old way wants to keep smoking.  You want to lose weight but the old way wants to eat whatever it wants.  You want to build stronger relationships but the old way wants to be selfish.  Anyways, I am going to stick to the weight loss/health journey.

Here is how I get back on track in a hurry 🙂

I honestly admit that I WILL GAIN ALL THE WEIGHT BACK AND MORE!!

I did it.  I do it.  I mess up and eat the heck out of a bunch of food that will eventually take me all the way back to weighing 307 pounds or more.  This is where the steps to get back on track start for me.  I have to honestly admit to myself that I will gain all the weight back and more!!  There is no doubt in my mind that this will happen.  In fact, there is no way that it could not happen.  If I go off on a binge/lapse/eating frenzy and keep it up for the rest of the year and longer, I will put all the weight back on.  So I get real with myself.  I know I don’t want to gain it all back.  I would not win the lottery and then try my darndest to throw it away.

I ask myself what guilt will bring me if I stay in it.

Without exception, when I go off program, guilt sets in.  This is not a bad thing.  This is a reality thing.  It is the aftermath of the battle with the old man inside.  It is the knowledge that I am doing something that I don’t believe in.  The guilt at first is fine but I ask myself what will this guilt do to me if I stay in it.  The answer to that is probably pretty common:  The guilt will create a cycle of either eating to feel better or eating to punish myself.  After I eat for either reason I have to do it again to punish myself or to feel better.  Thus, I make every effort that I possibly can to take on the guilt and then let it pass as a reminder that I am not acting in accordance to what I believe in or in accordance to what I desire in my life.

I tell the right people about my recent eating antics.

If I can let the guilt come and then go, I feel more free to tell the right people.  I say “tell the RIGHT people” because it is not good for me to tell all people.  Some people in my life are not people builders.  The people builders in my life are the ones that I MUST tell and tell in a hurry.  These are people like my wife, my sister, you guys, and some WW people at the meetings.  These are people who will tell you the truth but tell it in a spirit of love and growth.  Truth without love can hurt.  Shoot, truth alone can hurt but the blow does not tend to send us back into the guilt cycle when it is done in love and with care.  I know I need to get back on track and I don’t need a meany telling me that what I did was stupid.  I am protective of myself in this way because I don’t take criticism very well.

I know what it takes to lose weight and get/stay healthy.

As I start moving back towards living the healthy way, I find that I have a lot of doubt that I think started settling in during my eating episode It all starts during the episode dialogue.  I think and tell myself things like I can’t control my food or I really never learned what it takes to lose and keep it off.  This is hog foooey.  I remind myself that I do know what it takes to beat the old way of life and that the new way is attainable.  I look at my before and after pics, I look at my weight log from the last 2 years, I ask my wife to tell me that I am doing alright.  The truth is, no matter how much weight I or you have lost, we both know what it takes to lose weight.  The process is simple, it is the battle with the old way that is difficult.  I begin to regain confidence when I remind myself that I know how to win this game.

Accountability sucks but it builds me up.

OK, I have at this point admitted that the old way of life will pack on the pounds like no body’s business and there is no stopping it if I choose to live the old way.  I take on the guilt for a minute so that I can get a grasp on the fact that I don’t want to live the old way.  I tell my people that I messed up and that I am afraid of failing.  I tell them that I am having a hard time and then they build me up a bit.  Just enough to take some first steps.  They hold my hand for a 100 ft, then I jog, then I run, then I am on my way to being on program again.  I take a minute to give myself a pep talk to convince myself once again that I know what to do to make this work out for the better.  I am doing right, but there is one more thing that I know I need to put into the mix.  This thing is ACCOUNTABILITY.  I need it.  I need to get my butt to my WW meeting even if I am scared to death to do it.  I need to look at the scale when I get weighed and see the damage.  When the lady asks me if I expected it I will tell her yes.  I the scale is good to me, I thank God for His help.  I don’t even consider leaving before the meeting is over (well, I might consider leaving).  I listen, I ineract and take part in it.

Keep on keeping on ’till next time

So I am doing good but I don’t forget what just happened.  I kindly remind myself that IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN AND THAT IS OK!!!  Knowing that this will happen again, I take note of that fact that it is not the episode that kills me, it is the not getting back to business that does.  So I don’t have to fear messing up anymore.  Sure, I try like the dickens to avoid messing up and winning the battle before it ever gets started, but I can’t do that every time.  I reason with myself, I give myself a little wiggle room, but I don’t let myself believe that staying down is an option.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill

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17 Responses to “Just what is it that makes you re-start? This is a long one about getting back on track.”


  1. February 25, 2009 at 3:41 am

    Oh my gosh Jason, this is just what I needed after this weekend. I’ve been doing ok, but still kinda in a funk. You hit it on the head for me when you said, “I find that I have a lot of doubt that I think started settling in during my eating episode It all starts during the episode dialogue. I think and tell myself things like I can’t control my food or I really never learned what it takes to lose and keep it off.” I just wrote on my blog that after this past weekend maybe I hadn’t come as far as I thought. I really started doubting my ability to do this. I was telling myself that I didn’t know what I was doing and I needed to stop fooling myself. Thanks for saying,”This is hog foooey.” I needed to hear that.

    I also like how you commented on how you know that these slip ups are going to happen and how you concentrate on how to get out of them, so you are allowing yourself these slip ups, but not killing yourself over them, but just concentrating on the plan to get out of the funk when it does happen. I needed that reminder. Thanks.

    I say this again and again, but i want to thank you so much for sharing your journey with us and for being so open and honest. You are really helping me in my journey. It was no mistake that we met. YOU ROCK!!

    • 2 run4change
      February 25, 2009 at 5:15 am

      Thanks Melissa. I am glad that you got something from the post. It was a great post for me to write. It helped me see the path out of the funk in a concrete way. Just getting out of it is the key

  2. February 25, 2009 at 6:35 am

    Well said, my friend.

    Like Melissa said, you really are helping me with my journey. I’ve become something of a blog stalker this past week as I read different parts of your page to glean encouragement and motivation. You’re transparency helps all of us to be honest and transparent with ourselves.

    I had a bad week last week where I gained 3lbs. I made a few changes this week and am happy with the fact that I’ve begun to exercise and I’ve remained on point. Somehow though, I don’t feel a loss and I’m so tempted to eat unhealthy today but refuse since WI isn’t until Thursday. I want to see exactly how my body reacts to the fuel I’m giving it.

    I’m a walking chemistry set these days with all the different super foods I’m trying! 🙂

    ~amy

    PS…how was your weigh in last night?

    • 4 run4change
      February 25, 2009 at 6:46 am

      You’ll do fine I am sure Amy. getting back on track is the main thing and you did that so you are doing great. HAHAHA, my weigh-in eh? I did a post on it and it will be up at 9:15 pacific standard time. Come check it out. 🙂

  3. February 25, 2009 at 7:23 am

    I needed this one. Thank you so much. It was just the right thing to read to get me back on track today.

    ((((HUGS))))

    • 6 run4change
      February 25, 2009 at 7:24 am

      I love the hugs. Yes I do. Thanks tiger. i am glad that the post was timely for you. It sure was for me. 🙂

  4. 7 Kim
    February 25, 2009 at 7:56 am

    Well spoken er umm written Jason! You are right. THis journey is less about the actual eating and more about the mental aspect of staying on track, sticking with it and going again when we do mess up. Add accountibility and you have a good thing. I have recently been thinking about failure and success…Thomas Edison is not considered a failure…and do you know how many times it took him before he “got it right?” The key is to not give up! THanks for writing as usual Jason….I too feel like a blog stalker!

    • 8 run4change
      February 25, 2009 at 8:00 am

      I love it when you come over. It is great. My post on the weigh in will be up soon. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it very much.

  5. February 25, 2009 at 8:27 am

    I needed this today! Thanks Jason!

    • 10 run4change
      February 25, 2009 at 8:36 am

      Thank you Hanlie. I think many of us needed this today. Me included of course. Thanks for your comment 🙂

  6. 11 Sheila
    February 25, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Excellent, well articulated stuff. Since I read the original post I have put up one of those “Persistance” motivational posters (in a frame) in my downstairs gym and have been OP for 2 days…And so it begins!

  7. February 25, 2009 at 11:12 am

    Excellent post, and just what I needed to hear right now. Love the quote, too!

  8. 14 Shannon
    February 25, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Great post as usual Jason! Just what I needed for the new week. I always feel like I can get back on track if you can! I had a week of hard times (my son’s 11th birthday…ok CAKE!)but now am feeling stronger than ever! Keep up the good work!

  9. 16 ladlam
    February 25, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Great post Jason! You’re spot on for all points of course. I think it’s a sign that you’ve embraced the new healthy lifestyle if you quickly jump back on the horse when you fall off, instead of eating unhealthily for a month before eventually and hesitantly getting back in to healthy living.


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