My reply to a “fear” comment. Weight loss fears and my thinking!

thoughts-squiggles-2Today I got a fantastic comment on the first post in the “fear” series.  It brought to my mind my own fears and the reality of the way I think sometimes.  I wanted to share with you my reply to the comment.  Here it is.

Rob- This is a fantastic contribution man. It is so true. I am going to add to it if that is OK :)

Point #1-People have acted and are different to me now. No doubt about it. And like you said about your fear, I do have an attitude with them except I am very passive like and I don’t show them the attitude. I just keep it inside hidden in a place that when that person comes around I bring that thing out of hiding and tell myself,“Oh I remember you. You can’t be trusted. You are either fake or have an ethic about fat people that I don’t like or trust. Sure I’ll be nice to you right now but you’re not getting inside. I’ll keep you on the peripheral.  You are not trusted enough for me to let you inside (my heart, mind, etc)

Point #2-I am freaked out about this because I have done what you are saying. I am not doing it in a mean or negative way at all and I usually don’t speak it I just think it. I will see an over weight person who is not trying to lose weight at all and think to myself, “Oh man. look!! They just have no idea what is possible for them. They are so defeated about the weight. I know how that is because I have been there,  but they could get out if they wanted to. I wish they could believe..”

Then there are the times where I see someone who asks me how I did it and what they should do so that they can do it.  I tell them about WW and they join lets say.  They start the journey but all they want to do is make excuses as to why they don’t count their points or exercise.  They tell me why they should have to count or exercise also.  Again, I never say it out load but here is what I think, “Don’t you know that it won’t work if you keep acting that way. Quit lying to yourself and just do what you really want and know you should do.  It just won’t work if you are not committed to this. This is hard work and it takes attention to your efforts to succeed. Nobody loses weight by accident and I don’t know why you think you are any different. You just need to face the truth that you have to do this or that you are not ready/willing to do this.”

Now this is different from how I think when I see people trying hard and are battling with the emotional demons regarding food. The journey is not easy at all, but it is possible. These people tend to mess up but also seem to own up to the fact that it was them that did it and they move on for as long as they can until the next mess up. This is how everyone does it anyway right? We go as long as we can being good, mess up, get back on track, and over and over we go and the mess ups get further apart and our good times are better then the good times before.

I hope I made sense Rob. I am going to make this a post too.

12 Responses to “My reply to a “fear” comment. Weight loss fears and my thinking!”

  1. March 5, 2009 at 9:24 am

    Both these posts are awesome, Jason. Such good points. In fact, I have so much to say about it, that I think I’ll probably tag you and do my own post on it with my point of view. You bring up the BEST topics!

    • 2 run4change
      March 5, 2009 at 9:36 am

      Thanks Little Miss, but it is actually it is all of you who come up with the topics. I pick the ones that hop out at me and go with it. I love how we all think in similar wasy but also in our own separate ways if that makes sense.

  2. 3 RobFitness
    March 5, 2009 at 9:55 am

    As always a great post and I am glad that you shared it with others. It does say a lot and it is amazing in how we all kind of think a like. Then again we are all on this journey together and have the same ups and downs as everyone else who puts the effort in. It’s not easy but be do learn form one another and I am glad that we have each other to learn from. I find that at times its the mental part of losing weight that can be at times even harder that the physically part.
    Thanks for sharing… 🙂

  3. 5 afatgirl
    March 5, 2009 at 11:55 am

    One thing that jumped at me in this entry… your comment about seeing over weight people and then your thoughts towards them. I am so guilty of that. Even now, not having lost (hardly) any weight but knowing what is possible.

    Also, you mention lying to yourself. I am so guilty of this on so many levels. I think that is my number 1 thing that I need to work on. Being completely honest with myself about this whole thing. This lifestyle.

  4. 7 Teresa
    March 5, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    “Nobody loses by accident . . .” hmmm. I agree and I’ll be chewing on that one for a while.


    • 8 run4change
      March 5, 2009 at 2:32 pm

      So true though isn’t it. 🙂 I have made so many excuses and had so many reasons why I didn’t lose or whatever but I think I was just trying not to take the blame and make believe that I gained by accident.

  5. March 5, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    I’ve been trying to wrap my head around Point 2 in my own life. Since I lost a bunch of weight, I have gotten mostly positive attention (not the creepy kind); it’s nice, but it feels *so weird* because I’m used to being more in the background myself. I’ve learned so simply smile and say, “Thanks!”

    But what I struggle with is when people ask me how I did it. Food-wise, I don’t have a pat answer: I’m not following a “name brand” program or diet; it’s kind of based on the ADA exchanges, but tweaked for my particular needs and habits. So I give the general eat healthy, watching portion sizes answer…often it’s not what they want to hear, but oh well. But the part that *really* frustrates me is when I tell people I exercise 5 days/week, and that I’m a runner. Totally shuts them down. I want to scream when someone says, “Oh, I can’t do that. I hate running.” Or, “I don’t have time.” Why am I frustrated by these responses? Probably because they used to be mine. 🙂 But not anymore, and I don’t think people get that I, too, am in a similar situation:
    (1) I have a job outside the home, and kids, although I’m fortunate to have a very supportive spouse, point is: I’m busy. I made the time because it’s as important to my condition (type 2 diabetes) as the medicine I take. Often I need to break up my sessions through the day: maybe 20 minutes of video in the morning and a 10 minute walk at lunch, but I need to do something every day.
    (2) Running is NOT the only game in town! It helped me tremendously, and I saw my biggest losses when I was running 4-5 days/week, but I do other forms of exercise: bike (regular and stationary), gym machines, strength training. Some days I walk, and it’s great, too! If I was told to not run, I would not quit exercising…I’d just have to find a new event to motivate me to train.
    (3) I thought I hated running, too. But the light bulb went on when I realized I could ease into it gradually. Also, having a race goal to train for helped, too. And now that I consider myself a runner, I still struggle with wanting to go for a run sometimes…I never regret doing it, though.

    • 10 run4change
      March 5, 2009 at 3:27 pm

      Superbly written pubs. I agree with you on all points. YOu just have to fit it in some how. it gets crazy but it is possible

  6. May 3, 2009 at 11:21 am

    The bottom line is this– people want the results but they don’t want to do the work. If it was really easy, everyone would be walking around with a six pack. In today’s modern America where every new invention and product that comes out promotes easier, quicker ways to do things, we dumb ourselves down as to the work it takes to do some things.

    Some things just take good ol’ fashioned exercise and diet. Saying “I want to lose weight” and saying “I’m willing to put in the work to lose weight” are two completely different things. Constant motivation and reminders of the ultimate goal are what keep my clients committed in the long run.

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