Scared while being thin! Part two in the “fear” series.

Pic from musiccitybowl.com rib eating contest

Pic from musiccitybowl.com rib eating contest

Part two of the “fear” on being at goal weight series is a good one.  Usually when I get asked about whether or not I was afraid of getting thin, I also get asked if I have any fears WHILE I am thin.  The answer is yes.

All of my fears did not just vanish when I hit goal.  I slowly work through them as time goes on and hopefully will become mentally healthier each day.  Here are the fears that I presently have about my weight and health journey.

  • Can I handle the pressure of keeping it off.  This is of course my main fear about being on maintenance.  I am scared half to death sometimes that I will not be able to hold on.  I have held on for over a year now but the rest of my life is a long long time (hopefully).
  • Will I get carried away with this.  I worry also about becoming to strict with my diet and exercise.  I scares me that I will become obsessive about it and end up being to extreme in the good direction which is not healthy either.  So I fear that I won’t be able to strike a balance on this healthy journey.
  • I fear that I will lose perspective and forget where I came from.  I never ever want to forget where I came from or lose the ability to relate to those who are still on the journey of losing weight.  The blog helps me with this a lot.  I don’t want to forget mainly because that is really who I am.  I am skinny, but the fears and feelings associated with being big are a part of who I am and I think in many weighs it is a good thing.  Over-weight people have some of the best characteristics due to the humbling nature of being overweight itself.

That’s all folks.

22 Responses to “Scared while being thin! Part two in the “fear” series.”

  1. March 6, 2009 at 5:23 am

    I really thought that I was weird for being scared of being thin. It is what I’ve wanted most of my life, so I felt like why I am scared to reach that goal. The reason I love your blog is because it makes me realize that I am not alone. Thanks so much for sharing from the heart and letting us know that we are not alone. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. I know I keep telling you that, but I’m hoping you are starting to get the idea. Hey, we made it to FRIDAY everybody. WOOT!! Have a blessed day!!

  2. March 6, 2009 at 5:35 am

    I would be honored. Thanks.

  3. 5 Vani
    March 6, 2009 at 6:17 am

    I’m so glad you included the point about “still being able to relate to people on the journey.” My mom recently lost over 50 lbs. and makes a lot of mean comments about overweight people now. She says she’s trying to “stop thinking of herself as a fat person,” but it really, really, really makes me mad !!!!! I feel like she feels better than everyone else now that she’s lost the weight. I NEVER want to be this way! We’re never “cured” — just taking better care of ourselves and being kinder to ourselves. I wish my mom could understand that when she makes mean comments about overweight people she’s just revealing her self-hatred and insecurity. And making me feel insecure, too (since I weigh more than her).

    Thanks. Feels good to let that out.

    • 6 run4change
      March 6, 2009 at 7:22 am

      It is just plain wrong to say mean stuff and be mean to overweight people. Also, it is a bully mentality and that usually stems from a highly insecure emotional state. “Cut them down to build me up”. For the true hero and lover in life it should be, “I’ll be low so that you can be high.” 🙂

  4. 7 Kim
    March 6, 2009 at 8:51 am

    At this point, I am more afraid that I won’t make it to thin to be able to worry about having those other fears. But I can see where those fears would come in. I never want to be arrogant or self righteous in the things I have achieved. Others don’t have to lose so I can win!

    • 8 run4change
      March 6, 2009 at 9:11 am

      THat is such a good way to put it Kim. “Others don’t have to lose so I can win!”

  5. 9 Michelle
    March 6, 2009 at 9:12 am

    Hey Jason. Great posts on fears!

    I am getting close to my goal weight (70 lbs down, 30 to go!). However, I still have the mentality of “the fat girl”. I work in a small office and used to be significantly heavier than the other girls. Now, I’m not. But I still feel like the fat girl and that people perceive me that way (even though they are all great and supportive).

    For example if a lot of us end up close to each other in an office talking, I will still try to get out of the way of the “skinny” people. I hope this makes sense.

    Anyway, I fear never being able to accept that I am not the 250 lb woman any more that people have to scoot around. I hope my mental outlook about myself improves.

    • 10 run4change
      March 6, 2009 at 9:21 am

      It will improve. The more time you spend as the “new” you the more you will begin to accept it as reality and learn to live like a thinner person. It is funny that you mention the “scooting around” thing. I actually had a dream where this person who weighed around 1200 pounds was trying to scoot around me. HAHAHA Weird huh?

  6. 11 maggieapril
    March 6, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Jason, I wanted to comment on one of your fears from a previous post, and that was where you said that when you were fat you knew people liked you for the right reason (personality, not looks.) And while I agree that there are shallow people out there who judge others on appearance, I also think its true that our “new” selves attract others more readily. I mean, most of us who have lost a significant amount of weight feel better, look better, and have more self confidence than we have had in a long time (or maybe ever). I think that we smile more, speak up more, and are more happy overall. (And I don’t mean just the funny-fat-friend personality). I think these positive personality traits tend to encourage others to gravitate toward us more. So maybe our new friends like us because we’re more fun to be around, not just because we’re skinny and sexy. (Kinda’ kidding on the “skinny and sexy” thing, but you get my point.) 🙂

    • 12 run4change
      March 6, 2009 at 11:54 am

      You know Maggieapril, I think you are sooooooo right on this one. This is a great contributing subject. I do exude much more “pleasantness” as a person now as compared to the fat Jason. I am glad you brought this point up and I completely agree with you. Thanks

  7. 13 Ms Oblivious
    March 6, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    The “can I keep it off” is almost paralyzing… to the point of halting progress at times. Am so glad you’re out here writting this. Its pretty obvious everyone with a weight problem feels these things. So I THANK YOU for sharing your story from the bottom of my heart.

    What Michelle said about having the “fat girl” mentality and feeling the perception of that from other people. That is a tough one I struggle with. Losing weight is such a process of our bodies and our minds. Anyway, too bad there wasn’t a Former Fatty Witness Protection Program so you can get away from people who knew/always want to remind you that you were once heavier.

    • 14 run4change
      March 6, 2009 at 6:34 pm

      Great comment oblivious. I have been looking for the Former Fatty Witness Protection Program for some time now. FWPP! 🙂 You are totally welcome. I love to share my heart because it helps me and also brings out the heart in others.

  8. March 7, 2009 at 6:36 am

    Jason, your posts are always GREAT and so are the responses. After reading this, I am going to put my fears aside and do my part to be as healthy as I can today and the rest of my life…smile. My husband and two of our three kids are getting ready to go take a 4 mile walk…sweet! We have control of what we do…healthy things or not…so as long as we keep making healthy choices ~ we will get to where we need to be. Have a great weekend! Smile, SAM

    • 16 run4change
      March 7, 2009 at 6:56 am

      You’re cool Sam. That is great about your family going for a walk. Fantastic. Thanks for the comment

  9. 17 Angie
    March 7, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    WOW…I feel like you just reached down into my guts and pulled out why I have failed at lossing wt all these yrs frankly, Have been beratted by my children “mom , why aren’t you trying anymore? Your health is getting bad and you keep going like you are and we are going to loose you”…That coming from your boys is hard to take … but the alternitive is…and I would never admit this to them; So much more would be expected of me. That feels terrible to admit but If i am being truthfull with myself…THAT’S FRIGGIN’IT!! I have used the excuse of “I can’t because of my asthma or my high blood pressure , which if I lost wt would both be close to ,if not completly normal. I take so many b/p it’s crazy!!

    The real deep issue is MEN…I avoid them and I am discovering that if I get thin I won’t have that excuse any longer. I am not the type to brag … but if you knew me, you would understand, I am an attractive big woman. great hair, eyes, FACE…but the rest of me is huge…it turns men off. and I feel safe hiding behind the fat I feel no one will expect me to meet thier goals of a partener so I am safe in my blubber. There is Part of me that would like to have a mate in life, but I am so bull-heded and set in my ways ,that that would require changing… therein lies my problem …I fear change.

    • 18 run4change
      March 7, 2009 at 11:00 pm

      What a wonderful comment Angie. I appreciate your honesty so much. Your contribution to this post will help many others who read it. Fears are an interesting thing but they are so hard to understand or see sometimes. Thanks again

  10. 19 afatgirl
    March 8, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    I hope you don’t mind my digging up this “old” post!

    One of my biggest fears is AFTER I lose the weight. Sure, losing it is tough. I have ups and downs. But overall? It’s straightforward. There is a formula. A process. A huge bonus “gift” at the end.

    But AFTER? There is no formula. No process. No new body I’m working towards. And that… that scares the crap out of me.

    • 20 run4change
      March 8, 2009 at 6:17 pm

      afatgirl. I have been at this for over a year and it still scares the crap out of me. There is no cut and dry method to maintain it seems. More experimenting and I don’t like that but it does change things up a bit. 🙂

  11. 21 Lee Anne
    March 8, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    This is a fantastic post!!!
    You have summed up my fears beautifully. I have posted here and the WW boards before. Used to be 297, now 126, and I run, too. Some days I worry about getting too thin!
    Some days I worry that I am getting too thin. Other days I think I will lose focus and gain everything back.
    I’m increasing my mileage right now training for a 10K and I am HUNGRY all of the time. I can put away some food after my long run…seems like I should be gaining 10 pounds a week, but I’m not.
    I really enjoy reading your blog because of the WW slant and running!
    BTW, one of your pictures of your food last week really helped me…the one of the eggbeaters. I looked at that and thought, “No WAY is all that just 2 points!” I used to measure out 1/4 a cup, log a point, and be done. WOW! It is 2 pts. for an entire cup! I have started eating egg beaters wrapped in a flat out. It’s a good way to get in protein,, something I have to work at.

    • 22 run4change
      March 8, 2009 at 6:21 pm

      Thanks for sharing Lee Anne. I am so glad that the egg beater thing worked out. The response you had to that pic was overwhelmingly similar to every other reaction I got. Some people sternly denied it. HAHA 🙂 Thanks a lot for stopping by and encouraging us.

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