It hurts to be fat. It hurts to fail at losing. It hurts to not get what I am seeking for when I binge on food to feel better. It just plain hurts to see thin people and hate my own body.
What is all of this about you ask? It is about a simple little thing that I have learned that life can do to you if you let it. It can mold you into a compassionate and loving person. Yes, it can make you into a bitter evil minded person who everyone hates if you let it, but life doesn’t want to make you that way. I have found it most interesting that sometimes big people are nicer than the “beautiful people”. I was thinking on this subject for weeks. Pondering why this would be and I have come to my own little conclusion: It hurts to be fat!!!
I used to be a total dick back in the day. I used to be mean to girls and my mom. I used to be rude to others. I did always have compassion on the underdog though. Huh? Just thought of that. Anyway, I got really fat. I got embarrased about myself. I was not proud anymore. I was scared that people would see my man boobs and shirt pulls. I was no longer one of the “beautiful people”. I was the one that people were nice to but disregarded as soon as I left. This is why I think that being fat can develop you into a nice and compassionate person. When you are humbled day after day after day by looking at yourself and realizing that you are not the person you want to be, it teaches you something. It taught me that it’s not just easy to do it. It’s not just a simple thing to get thin and be happy. I learned that lots of people struggle with issues and problems that drive them to eating because they don’t know what the F else to do about it. Eating works, at least for the moment, and that is all I cared about.
Now finding Jesus transformed me completely in this aspect too, but being fat really did make me a different person. I mean…….. Well, to tell you the truth I had to leave my desk for a while and now I lost my thoughts. I guess that ends this post. Until next time, see you later and have a good day.