Skinny person says,”I need to lose weight”. Larger person says, “What the …………”

image credit: www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com
image credit: http://www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com

I was absolutely blown away by a comment on one of my previous posts.  I mean I was totally shocked.  In fact, I can’t even express the shock/eye opening/revelation/amazingness.

I have not experienced an “Oh my God” moment like this for a long long time.  This was not a “hater” comment, nor was it even a negative comment.  It just simply opened my eyes to the truth in a very real way.  I love this about having my blog.  You all say some amazing things that stir up thought and emotions that help me and others grow. 
Basically, the comment touched on a situation that we are all very familar with.  Here is the situation as the commentator put it, “Speaking from my own experiences, you know how when you were fat and some skinny person would talk about how fat they were, or how they needed to lose weight? And you would think to yourself “oh, pul-leeze!”  So my commentator friend told me “Well that’s you now, dude.”
This was in no way meant to be offensive or mean and I did not take it that way.  It was like the first time that I realized that the skinny person in the story is me.  I have kept my weight off for over a year now and it took a wonderful person to say, “Well that’s you now, dude.” for me to actually see it.  Holy freakin A.  I sent shock waves through me.  I was sitting in bed at 4:30 in the morning reading this comment on my blackberry all tired and such but when I read that little part I was wide awake and in Awe. 
Part of me was happy that I was the skinny person but part of me was scared that I had been doing the skinny person part in the situation.  I hope that I have not been offending anyone because I am a skinny person hoping to lose 8 more lbs or so.  I don’t think I have.  I am pretty sure that everyone knows my heart and that I am just trying to be as healthy as an emotional eater can be.  I came from being really big to now being healthy but I guess I just never saw it that way.  I guess the fat mind is still in much more control than I had thought. HAHAHA.  Put yourself in my shoes for a minute.  Think of yourself at your goal weight, feeling super strong and healthy, and reading this comment.   I read that comment and for a split second think why would she say  that I am that person (Because that is what I first said because I never thought of myself as that person) and then BAM,  It hits me like a ton of bricks.
Thank you Maggieapril for leaving that comment.  You really helped open my eyes to the fact that I have accomplished a lot.  I know that I know this already and many people tell me all the time but your comment just revealed it in such a unique and real way to me.  I needed that.

18 Responses to “Skinny person says,”I need to lose weight”. Larger person says, “What the …………””

  1. March 16, 2009 at 3:34 am

    I have to say that I have gone through this as well. Especially being in the gym around so many people. First, I have been there with the ‘skinny’ person, and feeling like, you are going to lose weight from WHERE!? since then I have seen the light with this. We ALL have our own issues, about our body no matter what size we are in relation to others.

    One of the fitness instructors joined a weight loss challenge at our gym. I get it now, when she says the extra 5 pounds bother her, it makes sense to me, there was a point I REALLY wanted to lose that 5 pounds too…

    It is great that you see that, I hope that many others will start to see it too, so we can all be more accepting of eachother! This journey is forever, better to all walk together!

    Thanks for a great post, love the cartoon.

    • 2 run4change
      March 16, 2009 at 4:38 am

      “This journey is forever, better to all walk together!” That is a profound and timeless quote right there Carrie. Thanks for the contribution. Your comment is awesome

  2. 3 maggieapril
    March 16, 2009 at 4:40 am

    Yep, you’re the skinny person always worrying about your weight. 🙂 But having just lost over 85 pounds, I totally get it. When I look in the mirror, I still see the same (large) person I have been for so long. A while back I coined a phrase – deja big. It’s when you look at a tiny booth or a turnstile, or a chair, and wonder if you’re going to fit. Because these were the things that I had to worry about for so long they became part of me.

    Be proud of yourself, Jason. You really have accomplished alot (go marathon man!) and now you are helping others do the same. And that’s really admirable!

    • 4 run4change
      March 16, 2009 at 4:42 am

      “Deja Big”! That is so true. It is that “big” thought and it just comes to your mind right in the moment. It is not conjured up though it just comes naturally it seems. Funny 🙂

  3. March 16, 2009 at 5:45 am

    thanks for this site this helped me alot

  4. March 16, 2009 at 6:12 am

    It’s true – you are the skinny person now, but from where I stand, the work to lose another 8 lbs or whatever isn’t coming from a point of vanity or self-absorption, it’s from a point of having lost a TON and still needing to learn how to maintain and be healthy and *sustain* that weight loss. There’s a huge difference.

    And weight loss is relative. I’ve been that person who looks at a skinny person in a WW meeting and thinks why do they need to lose 5 more pounds? From where? But then I realize it’s all relative. Five pounds to that person may equal my fifty. And I should congratulate that person and encourage her/him for wanting to be healthy. Plus, how do I know they weren’t once the fat person in the equation too? The only time people in WW know I’ve lost 62 lbs is when they are there to see me get another 5 lb award. Some don’t hang around that long.

    We know you have a big heart, Jason, and there’s nothing you could say or do here that could offend a normal rational person. 🙂 Keep it up. You are inspiring to me as to what it will be like when I hit goal and keep it off over the long term, and just what will be involved.

    • 8 run4change
      March 16, 2009 at 6:19 am

      Little Miss, you are always so encouraging. Thanks also for using her/him for the ww meetings. HAHAHA Guys go to meetings now. HAHAHAHA My current meeting has lots of guys but the meeting I started in had very few if any. And you are so right, most people don’t stick around long enough to see others progress.

  5. March 16, 2009 at 7:47 am

    Jason, thanks for this post. I’m so glad I found your blog, you always say something that I can relate to and that inspires me on my own journey. I have felt worried when I started my blog that people would feel the same way about me…I am thin, but I have struggled for so long with compulsive overeating and bingeing. I am trying to get control of the weight fluctuations of 10-20 pounds caused by this. I love to exercise (nothing insane, I just love being active), which keeps me from becoming too overweight…so you would never know I struggle with this just by looking at me. I don’t want to be a thin person complaining about losing 10 pounds, but when I know I put the 10 pounds on by unhealthy habits, it’s a different story. If that makes any sense 🙂

    • 10 run4change
      March 16, 2009 at 7:54 am

      It makes perfect sense and it just goes to show us all that we don’t really know for sure what is going on in a “skinny” persons world. Looking at me you would not know that I was fat. But I was and I don’t want to go back so I have to work at it just like everyone else. Thanks for your contribution Sara. It is a great point of view that you shared with us.

  6. 11 Teresa
    March 16, 2009 at 9:17 am

    Great thoughts, Jason. I used to get irritated with one of my roommates. She was beautiful (inside and out) but always very concerned about her weight. It was hard for me to hear someone who was the epitome of what I wanted to be struggle over 5-10 pounds. However, since that time, I’ve come to realize that if I had been more concerned about 5-10 pounds when they became apparent, I would not likely have become 200 pounds overweight. Now when I hear someone who I think it perfect talk about their struggles with a few pounds, I have a great deal of empathy for them and understand how that 5-10 pounds means every bit as much to them as my now 135. And, when I finally get to goal, I’m sure I’ll be one of those folks who is obsessed with getting off the last few or maintaining at a certain level.

    • 12 run4change
      March 16, 2009 at 9:19 am

      Great observations. That really put it in a good perspective for me. If I would have cared about the 5-10 lbs I never would have gotten 300+ pounds I guess. Wow. Very good point.

  7. March 17, 2009 at 8:52 am

    Most of us have no idea of how we’re perceived. Some people will be a good weight and think they’re fat, and others who are fat think they’re thin. And some people endanger their health to get “just a bit thinner.”

  8. March 17, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Thanks so much for posting this, Jason. The experience of being both overweight and borderline underweight has taught me that it reallly doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s how you feel!! This is why I try not to get upset when my thin mother complains about her weight, because I know it’s more that she FEELS bad than that she looks bad. I have days now (at close to my highest weight) when I feel amazing and days when I feel like a beluga whale, and I’m sure I’m annoying when I talk about it! hehe

    • 16 run4change
      March 17, 2009 at 9:39 am

      HAHAHA, the beluga whale comment was funny FIT. THanks for coming over to talk. Have a great day.

  9. April 15, 2009 at 11:45 am

    I’m glad that you posted this; it was an interesting read. If you wouldn’t mind my adding a comment of my own on the subject, of no real moral concept or defining purpose; merely on my experience. . .

    I am the “skinny” person in such the situation, and while I do not measure my weight by pounds (I haven’t gotten on a scale for three years, save for doctor’s appointments -where I simply close my eyes tight and tell the doctor/nurse to not say the numbers aloud- as I used to obsessive about every single pound I lost or gained or even maintained, and I was sick of that), I am very compulsively conscious about my weight; I “measure” by the thickness of my waist, hips, and thighs. It’s not exactly something to be proud of in my position, being so aware of my body that I do not even need to glance in the mirror to judge how I look -in fact, I try my best to avoid mirrors, or at least looking in them, in the same respect that I stepped off the scale and never glanced at those numbers again.

    I suppose one might say that I’m unnaturally skinny; truth is, my habit -or lack there of- verges on anorexia. I have never intentionally -or even accidentally for this such purpose- thrown back up what I threw down my throat- but I have had serious periods of bingeing, sometimes lasting weeks. And shortly after starting to fill my body with whatever food I saw to the point where my stomach would be verging on bursting -for my stretching it from its puny size of perhaps a thumbnail- I would start to drown in to this unstable depression, as feeling full has always left me in. If I had enough energy, much less enough motivation from my irrational panic attacks when I’d start feeling as if I’d explode, I would drag myself outside clad in my brother’s old sneakers . . . and just run. And the experts are right! I mean, of course they are –who hasn’t taken biology, or psychology, to learn about such?– in saying that exercise at all increases one’s mood.

    (In fact, it “reduces levels of cortisol, thereby benefiting health. Cortisol is a stress hormone that builds fat in the abdominal region, making weight loss difficult.” and “Frequent and regular aerobic exercise has been shown to help prevent or treat serious and life-threatening chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, obesity, heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, insomnia, and depression.”
    Obviously, the decrease in insomnia is due to one’s being exhausted from working out so often -or at least at all, if one had not done so before- that one cannot help but slide in to sleep more easily than if they’d again denied their body much physical activity, let alone strain, during the normal waking hours. . . The decrease in high blood pressure/depression is due to an increase in one’s level of happiness, as stress is a major instigator for such a condition, and exercise increases the production of the naturally occurring endorphins “morphine within” -a chemical created by the body, production level of which directly relates to one’s level of happiness, and that, “in conjunction with other neurotransmitters is responsible for exercise induced euphoria.”)

    When I could at last contain myself, and take real control of my eating habits, that simply meant that there was no such thing then -for I would transition, without even a gradual decline, from stuffing myself, to starving myself.

    Most of the time, I am so acutely aware of what I’m eating and when I’m eating, and I’ve found from years of experience that my not feeling full constantly increases my mood a thousandfold. In addition to the bicycling I occasionally do -just a few miles usually, but sometimes lasting for hours- and the fact that I try to eat only vegetables, many many fruits (adding Splenda to any of them sweetens them even more so they are delicious and addictive AND healthy), and just sometimes, wheat such as bread or cereal, I try to not eat but something small for breakfast, and then something even smaller for dinner. And I’m very happy going about all of this. Unhealthy foods depress my mood, so I don’t eat out, much less have fast foods -just as one gets a “sugar high” from caffeine, then crashes later; eating that donut or cookie makes one feel good then, but after consumption, the body doesn’t respond kindly to it as it does for fruits and vegetables; and it is chemically proven that such unhealthy foods do attribute to depression.

    My weight loss didn’t just start by own whim, of my own accord. I didn’t one day decide I was too fat, which I’ve never been -last time I got on my home scale, I was 150 lbs, at 5’9″. I was actually at the normal weight for my height and age. But then, I was diagnosed with severe ADD . . .

    You can see where this is heading.

    ADD medications are similar in chemical makeup to “speed”/”cocaine”/any other stimulating drug, which activate one’s sympathetic nervous system and dramatically reduces digestion in the body, which disallows the signal for hunger to be sparked as strongly or as frequently as it should when the sympathetic system is not so active -when the body is digesting food, it does not want to fill it, in the process, with even more.

    I lost thirty pounds within three months.

    And I have not felt hungry since I started taking such medications, two years back. Eating, for me, is simply a matter of seeing food in front of me and wanting it -not because I crave it or because my body requires it, but only because it is there and I have a mouth. Odd, isn’t it?

    But ever since I lost that weight, I have felt happier. At first, this change in attitude was not because of how I appeared in the mirror, but because of my general mood, in being able to have more energy and take things in stride instead of being slumped down and having too many distractions to focus and organize and prioritize and be successful.

    But then, I started to notice how my body really was, on the exterior -skinny.
    I’ve never cared what others thought of me, and still don’t; as a child, I was always very thin, even though I ate whatever and whenever (in fact, I overate and overate and overate, all through my childhood, yet remained unreasonably stick-thin). And, in the same sense, I never payed any attention to my weight at all, despite knowing, when I first became a teenager, that I wasn’t as skinny as the others I was usually around -then again, I was a cheerleader, and half the girls on the squad were very much concerned with external opinions (and internal obesity fears). And I had never been one to physically compare myself to others, let alone the air brushed models in magazines -even despite the countless amounts of compliments on my appearance I’ve gotten since I was in a cradle, on.
    But suddenly, I looked at myself. One day, I just stopped and looked -didn’t particularly care, just glanced. And, well . . .I liked looking how I did, and feeling how I did -I attributed each to the other. So even when I would take a “break” from the medication, I would try to will myself in to eating as much as I did while on it -in other words, nearly nothing.

    A year and a half after I’d been on stimulants, I was visiting the doctor for a regular checkup and he came to mention that I was at 114 lbs. Still 5’9″, I should think, though slightly taller. He didn’t seem concerned about it, so neither was I.

    Since then, I gained a bit, . . . then lost a whole lot. I’m currently feeling, and looking, even much under that 114 lbs. I have headaches half the week, though they are mild and never really interfering with my day; I can’t sleep (though I do not accord that to any eating issue, but to my overanalyzing and ever-thinking brain); I get dizzy quite often, and sometimes fall down rather abruptly -I black out for a few moments. But I feel that I do think clearer, that I’m more positive, and more confident.
    It’s not exactly healthy, and definitely not a good regimen for lifestyle, but I’m happier in every aspect of my life because of it.

    I just thought I would share my personal experience with weight; my “two cents.”
    . . .Even though, it’s more so amounting to a hay-penny than the two.

    • 18 run4change
      April 15, 2009 at 11:58 am

      Thank you so very much for sharing. It is so nice that you cared enough to let others read your story.

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