Last night as you know I skipped my WW meeting to get some work done at home with my landscape plan. I planted 8 trees actually which is pretty good since they are huge and my ground is spongy clay. HAHA Anyway, without even thinking about it, I went hog wild on the way home from work.
As I left the building, I walked right up to the red van that sells homemade donuts out of the back. I bought 4 regular but very sugar coats donuts. 2 bucks. As I was driving to my next stop about 8 miles away I chowed those down without hesitation. Next, I stopped at circle K to buy some more food. I got 3 sticks of pepperoni and a bag of chips. Well, that should last me a while right? bwa ha ha ha ha!!!
On my way home from there, about 5 miles, I ate all of the new snacks. I finished off the last bite of chips and pep. just as I opened my truck door to get out at home. Then I walk inside, took a big drink of water, and finished off half of a tube thing of Ritz Crackers. How about that!! Freakin crazy. And I am serious that I did it without hesitating. It was like it was automatic for me. The old self took over and my car went on auto-pilot. What to do now?
I am holding up ok for now though. I am not letting the guilt kill me although I do feel ashamed about it. That is why I am telling you all right now. Might happen tomorrow if I don’t but since I did it won’t for sure. My WW week starts over tomorrow also. That is one thing I was thinking about while I was eating. I will admit that much.
So my life goes on. Hopefully I burnt off some of the 1000″s of calories I ate while planting trees. We’ll see how weigh in goes next week I guess.
UPDATE:
I also ate three south beach bars and two pieces of toast with massive amounts of honey and butter. This topped my night off around 9 pm. Dang it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another odd thing that is happening with this little episode is that I have no desire to keep on eating bad. It is weird. Normally I would still be tempted to keep eating like this but I am not this time. It is like I took a short break. I resting period. And now I am up and walking again heading towards my goal not looking back. HAHAHA Now that is something kind of new for me.
My angle on weight loss 
You and your bacon covered maple donut picture again! 🙂 I think it is cool to note that the desire to keep going in that vein is gone. I cannot wait until I get to that point of enjoying the guilty pleasures for a moment then jumping right back on track!
You Rock Kim. Thanks.
The Mrs. is out of town?
Your whole routine that you talked about was like deja vu to me. It’s exactly what my previous week was like. I would drive from one pace to the next, just buying and eating bad food, except in larger quantities. The problem with me is that I didn’t stop. It was like the carbs were creating my addiction to return, just like a powerful drug. I wish I could have stopped but I couldn’t or maybe I just didn’t want to. Either way that’s the past and we move on and learn. Thanks for sharing this experience and I am glad that you were able to stop like you did. That does show a lot of self control.
Thanks Rob. I am glad that I am not the onlly one who does this routine from time to time. Crazy isn’t it.
It sounds like you’re trying to test yourself. Like to see how far you’ll let yourself go before reeling it back in.
Even though you went on autopilot for an afternoon don’t forget you are not the old you -you are the Present You who ran a MARATHON the other day!
HAHAHA, YES. I am the present me. That is what I am. In the present. Thanks oblivious. That means a lot to me and it was a wonderful insight for my frail mind.
I just used up most of my dailies by eating a large bag of dried fruit and nuts. I’m frustrated with myself since it’s barely past noon. And feel sluggish too.
I’m curious to know what kind of stuff you ate before you left work. Was it emotional eating/stress eating or was your body craving something you didn’t realize?
I ate my regular food that I do pretty much everyday at work. Not exactly sure what it was. Like I said, it was so automatic.
Sounds like the day I ate a whole box of girl scout cookies while doing computer stuff at work… But, you know it’s not normal or healthy and you are moving past it- that’s the important part!
Ya, amanda. Just a movin on.
It happens to everyone at some point. What will ultimately determine the outcome of this slip into old behaviors is what you do next.
– Will you forgive yourself and move forward? (Sounds like you already have.)
– Will you throw up your hands and say, ‘This is pointless!’ and continue the old behaviors?
By the way, I was going to caution you strongly against missing your WW meeting for any reason other than illness. I’ve seen it over and over again: Bad things happen when we give ourselves permission to skip a WI.
Keep moving forward!
p.s. Has your PB2 come yet? *curious*
Thanks so much tessler for such a real and truthful comment. Sorry, but I have not yet gotten to order the PB2. I must do it soon it is just that I don’t really believe in using credit cards.
What is a PB2? Is that a video called Pretty Boy Part 2? Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! I am so out of the loop here 🙂 I too don’t believe in using credit cards. I figure if I can’t pay for it by cash, then I will wait till I have saved up enough money to get it. That’s pretty responsible of you Jason. Was just curious too if you are still going to send what we talked about a couple weeks ago? If not I understand.
PB2 is a powder based peanut butter that you mix with water and it is very very low in points especially as compared to regular pb. And yes, I a going to send you the “thing” pretty soon. Sorry for the delay. i just get really busy and forget.
This happens to me every now and then. wind up on an eat-a-palooza that seems to operate somehow on its own accord.
HAHAHA, Yeah.
Dude PB2 sounds awesome. One of my weaknesses is PB. It might be something I may checkout myself as well. If it would help me in anyway it would be well worth it.
Do a search on it. The website is very informative.
Just did and it seems to be affordable and the nutritional content, especially the fat is so low. It seems to be so much healthier than the PB we buy in stores today. Have you tasted it yourself yet? Plus they have chocolate flavored as an option. 🙂
I have not tasted it yet but tessler has and has said it was very very tasty
I totally feel your pain. I agree, it is like the “old” me just takes over my body and the auto-pilot is set to “Crazy Binge.” Where the heck is the kill switch on that thing??!!
I don’t know where it is but I sure want to find out. 🙂
Excuse my propensity to giggle at this post. I know that is terrible. But I’m just imagining your neurotic mind calculating all these points and then trying to run them off.
I find when I binge like this, that some other things in my life are out of control.
THank You Angela. I did have something that was out of my control that I did not want to be. It is a stupid thing but it pissed me off royally. Thanks for pointing this out my hilarious and fun friend.
I’m so glad to hear you were able to get back on track! I understand how something like that can happen so automatically. I often try to tell myself that yes, I did choose to eat something not on my plan, but if I can understand the reasoning behind those choices, I can hopefully grow from them. What we choose to eat shouldn’t be a good choice or a bad choice (although it’s so easy to label it as that!), but just a choice. And you might make the same choice and eat the same things tomorrow, or you might not…just take care of yourself and try to understand the motivation behind the splurge. It sounds like you’re doing this already 🙂
Sorry for rambling…I think I needed to hear this more myself!
Great comment Sara. Thanks for your contribution. The points you make are very sensible and true
Jason,you know how long Ive been on ww right,well the other day I had the need to binge just something naughty you know,so I almost had to force myself to do it because my mind had changed for the better,but I had that desire in me to eat so I did it.It brought me no pleasure only worry that I screwed up,so I worried about it all day and then I said I cant do this anymore,ever and thank you know who I dont have the desire anymore.In the past if I was on a diet then if I messed up just once I would give up and not start again for another year or two.This has been different for me this time around,even my daughter said I had really changed my eating habits like she had never seen me do.So I too know what you are going through and I sympathize with you but Im proud you didnt let it take you over.
That is great Donna. You are doing so fantastic. Just making that internal life change is so huge and it sounds like you are truly getting tansformed in the area of healthy and healthful thinking.
I’ve said it before, and will say it again…YOU GET BACK TO IT! This “eat-a-palooza” (GREAT description, still laughing) was crazy-auto pilot taking the controls for an hour, but there is no doubt in my/your mind that YOU are the PILOT of this craft! Thanks for not being some super-perfect-Mr.Know-It-All; YOU inspire me every day.
Thanks Sheila. Super-perfect and know-it-all are two things that I most assuradely are not. HAHAHA. Thanks for your comment
That last post was confusing…I mean to say that how I know that you’re still in control is that after a eat-a-palooza you get back to it/eating well…
I got ya. I understood what you were sayin 🙂
Jason ~ you are such a bright light to all of your “fans” ~ being real, is so important. Thanks for all the time/thought and effort that you put into your blog. YOU ROCK MY FRIEND. Sam
Thank you Sam. That made my day
One of my favorite quotes is coming to mind; “It is not the falling in the water, but the staying there that drowns you…”
You have chosen to pick yourself up and try again, you win. 🙂
Very very timely quote. Thanks for that.
It doesn’t matter how good your will power is, we all occasionally have a blow out. You just need to make sure that you get back on track straight away. By staying focused and motivated your cravings begin to diminish, and when you start seeing results this gives you even more of a reason to kick your blow outs into touch once and for all.
Well, here’s what I have to say. I cut my main three bad habits: soda, taco bell, and starbucks. If you’re addicted to a particular food, its like alcohol. If you’re an alcoholic and you stay sober for a few years. But then you have a little drink, just because you’re an alcoholic, you relapse and are more likely to go back to your same habits again. I have “guilt pleasures” too. I eat only 60-70% healthy on the weekends, but these are foods I’m not addicted to. I can go five days without thinking about these foods. I don’t have any cravings for them, but sometimes it just fun to eat things that are not on your diet. So, if you’re addicted to donuts and sugary snacks, then just cut them out permanently. It sucks, butyou need to realize what your real goal is.