Deep calling out to deep…. Weight loss inspirations comes from the real side of people!!

image credit: www.mpi.org

image credit: http://www.mpi.org


A great discussion broke out in the comments section of my post on “Going it alone”.  The conversation basically took a turn towards what actually inspires people.  Some readers and myself were somewhat amazed that people would be inspired by us because we know we fall short in so many ways.  This is a guest blog by cool Kimand I am also going to add my thoughts to hers.  This post is itself a dialogue of sorts.  So sit back and enjoy.  You will be moved to new heights in being real about your failures.  I was going to post each comment here but as I read them I realized that more people were in on the same subject of conversation than I had originally realized.  Please take a moment and read through these comments. 

Here are the comments that birthed this post.

Read the guest blog and my post below:

Kim’s awesome insight:
A blog that started as the result of a comment conversation…funny how blog topics get born!
While reading “Why not go it alone” on Jason’s blog, someone commented about how they have often been told that they are inspiring to them.  When she inquired as to the source of inspiration, it had nothing to do with the numbers on the scale and everything to do with her attitude, her commitment, and her willingness to live out loud, for all to see…the good, the bad, and the ugly.
When I have asked those around me what they find inspiring about me (because they do…and oddly the more I feel like I am floundering the more they think I am inspiring), it has boiled down to the fact that I am not giving up-even if I fall down, and that I am letting my journey be known.   I am writing about it, being gut wrenching honest about it in my conversations, and ultimately letting myself be known.
I think the human condition is created for relationships. The kind of relationships that actually mean something.  Where you can share what is really going on for you and not just the surface stuff.  I think people long to be known in deep meaningful ways.  They don’t want to walk around feeling like they have all this stuff going on inside and not be able to share it.  Yet sharing it is the very thing we are most afraid of.  If we share the ways in which we struggle, or aren’t quite as perfect as we think others think we are, or the deep longings of our hearts, we open ourselves up to the potential of great hurt.  Others then have greater power to really disappoint us and frankly disappointment, betrayal, is painful.  SO we avoid the possibility of pain and settle for surface relationships, because at least that is predictable.  But if we are honest, I don’t think that is what we really want.  I don’t anyway.
So for those who call people like Jason or I or MommyMeepa or Rob or any of the other bloggers who have been willing to share the real life struggle to lose weight, inspirations.  Yeah I think we are.  Not because we are losing weight or succeeding or failing…but because we are living out loud…and those deep waters that we tread into…are calling out to the deep waters of the next soul, who is yearning for the same thing. It is because we are letting our deepest struggles be known and I think those who call us inspirations are seeking the courage to do the same. I say go for it…the risk is soo worth it!  Yes it almost kills me when I am hurt or disappointed by someone I am in a relationship like this with….but the pain just proves I am alive…and the truth is…it doesn’t kill me.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson, quoted by Nelson Mandela

Jason’s additional post

Yearning!  That is what I think people are doing when they get inspired.  They yearn for the real, the deep, the meaningful.  For example, I eat a bunch of donuts and binge on junk, yet when I tell everyone they are inspired.  Why?????  Because people (me too) want to know that regular humans can conquer obstacles while at the same time living an imperfect life.  Blind people climbing EverestHandicapped people doing the IronmanElderly people running marathons.  Obese people now looking thin.  It is all evidence that “real” people like you and me can do it.  Deep calls out to deep.  Have you ever been around people who are sarcastic ALL of the time.  These people are afraid of your deepness calling out to their deepness because they feel to alone.  They feel that their deepness is not like others.

But for the most part, our failures encourage others because when we confess them the flood gates of reality open up.  The reality flows like a powerful river right at them and they are refreshed.  People get tired of the fake.  They get tired of the “everything is fine” attitude.  It is only when those deep waters flow that real and honest and true relationships are born.  Personally, I love deep.  I have always for as long as I can remember been a deep thinker and feeler.  It is dangerous sometimes, but I would rather live dangerously than to joke about the real things that I am trying to constantly avoid.  If I stay on the surface of myself and others, I gain nothing.  I don’t know myself and I don’t know others.  “Hi! How are you today?” Tends to not be a real question nor is the answer that we give tend to be real. Even in this blog world where we really don’t “know” each other, we connect in the realm of “real” because it is deep calling out to deep. We have deep places and we want to know that others have those deep meaningful places to.

22 Responses to “Deep calling out to deep…. Weight loss inspirations comes from the real side of people!!”

  1. March 30, 2009 at 4:16 am

    Good Morning Jason… I BLOGGED awhile back about what inspires people…
    I am glad to see as well that you speak of this. I think you a pretty neat person and I follow your BLOG daily!!!
    Have a wonderful day…
    Prince Edward Island is getting yet another winter snow storm with 25+ cm’s of snow YAY!!!

  2. March 30, 2009 at 9:02 am

    Ha. I quit blogging because I didn’t want people to see my failures over these last 4 weeks. I am that person that loves reading other people’s blogs…even the hard ones…because it helps to know I’m somewhat normal in my tendencies.

    • 4 run4change
      March 30, 2009 at 9:12 am

      I am glad that you like to read the hard ones Amy. I appreciate that you come visit me here very much so.

  3. March 30, 2009 at 11:00 am

    I am one of those that loves reading personal inspirational blogs. When I see photos of you now and read about all your marathons, it is hard for me to believe that you were/are one of us!

    You have come so far from who you were.


    • 6 run4change
      March 30, 2009 at 11:09 am

      Thanks Linda. It is funny. It seems so far from where I was but yet so very close at the same time.

  4. 7 Kim
    March 30, 2009 at 11:07 am

    I don’t know if you have ever heard Rob Bell speak, but he has a speaking tour going on right now called Drops like Stars. I went to it Friday night and one of the little nuggets he talked about was how important it is to share the real stuff was because it is good to know that “there is someone else screaming alongside of us” It jsut hit me, knowing this blog was about to be posted today, how very true that is. It is good to know that we are nto alone.

  5. 9 somedayistoday
    March 30, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Right on! I’ve been blogging about my hard time I’m having now…it’s REALLY hard to write it, but I am! I don’t have a big reader base like you, Kim, Rob and many others but I’m trying to be real with the health journey as much as possible! It’s not easy to do but it is necessary to grow and become emotionally healthy in my eating and other choices in my life. At the very least, it’s helping me especially when I go back and read it a few days/weeks/or months later to measure where I am now! Thanks Jason and Kim! By the way – We sing a song at my church that’s called, Deep cried out to deep! It’s an amazing song and the lyrics are great!

    • 10 run4change
      March 30, 2009 at 12:52 pm

      Thanks for sharing someday. I agree with you that just writing it down in a blog post helps my emotions out a lot.

  6. 11 afatgirl
    March 30, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    I cannot thank you both enough for this post! I think you hit the nail on the head; as to what inspiration is. And why I tend to be a “Maintenance Blog Groupie”; because I am inspired by you all. Not by your weight loss (although it is part of the draw) but by your enthusiasm for life, your love of things that us “Fat People” fear (like exercise and vegetables) and just plain your guts to share your story, your life, with us. I think that you have pitfalls and occasional failures makes you more real, and more inspiring. If you can do it, my goodness, so can I!

  7. 13 CJ
    March 30, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Jason, thanks so much for this post. It really made me something about myself that I have noticed lately. Its not so much weight related (even though its “attached” LOL). What I am talking about is the “How are you? I am fine!” mentality. I had a hysterectomy in Nov. and of course, I felt the pressure to say I was wonderful and fine and never felt better. Pressure from whom? No one but myself. I was brought up in the type of house where you never showed any weaknesses. You are a strong woman. Tough. A fighter, blah, blah, blah… So struggling to get my health back where it needs to be has been a major obstacle for me. You made me realize that my struggle is real and I have to own it and take it for what it is.

    I also relate to this as a weight issue as well. I too feel pressure only to let people know when things are going good. Of course, what I keep forgetting, its pretty obvious when I’m doing bad, because the weight starts creeping up and people start avoiding you!!!

    Thanks again!

  8. March 30, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Someday…that is all I am trying to do….write it out…get it out of my head so it doesn’t consume me. Large reader base?? I do not have a HUGE following, and am often surprised that a few like to ready my ramblings. For me, most of the time, my blog is a form of an online journal. A place for me to let it out…and if people find that inspiring…I will be grateful that GOd can use it for something good!

    Keep up your work…and so will I…

  9. March 30, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Wow, Jason and Kim, what a great post! I just finished posting something similar to this in a way on my blog and then hopped over here – what a coincidence 🙂 It’s so true…people really need that connection and yearn to be “heard” on a meaningful level. My blog isn’t so much about losing weight as it is recovering from compulsive overeating, but it was still such a relief to put it all out there, and the response from people who are so kind and who can relate has been overwhelming. It is hard to talk to people in “real life” about my food issues because I do build up this wall where I would like to seem perfect, but reality is so much different. One thing that scared me when I started blogging was that I do have some days where I don’t eat 100% healthy; and seeing all the other blogs that post such healthy meals all the time with little wiggle room made me unsure that I could fit into this community. But you guys are so right…I love to hear not only about successes, but struggles too. We all know they are going to happen, sometimes we have bad days, but being able to connect and grow from talking to other people makes the journey so much more bearable!! Thanks for such a great post!! I always feel less alone when I come here 🙂

  10. March 30, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Thanks for reminding me about this quote. It is exceptionally timely for me right now. (It actually had nothing to do with Nelson Mandela, though. It’s 100% Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love.)

    I sometimes don’t blog about my successes and failures simply because I think people might get bored, but with my successes, I don’t want people to think I”m arrogant. I’m going to blog about this from my “angle” (no pun intended…lol) so look for it.

    You are doing great and love the work you’re doing on your yard.

  11. 21 Angela
    April 21, 2009 at 7:58 am

    Not sure how I missed this blog entry, what the heck? My favorite chick posting on my favorite dude’s blog? Anyway….I agree completely with this. So so so so much. People tell me all the time “I wish I had your self-control.” My response is simply “I fall down too. I just fall less than I used to, and the only difference between you and me is that when I fall down, I get back up.” Living in the light means living to a level of accountability. We don’t have that when we’re sneak binge eating bags of chocolate in our secret place. Letting people in and being honest makes it real and managable. It’s the very heart of what community is meant to be. A thousand Kudos Kim!

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