He’s/It’s not gone!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s right.  The fat mind or fat guy is not gone.  Even after 14 races at marathon or longer distances.  Even after 2.5 years of great success.  Even after learning to live life the healthy way.


So damn bad too.  I only wish that this A-hole would leave forever and disappear.  It would be nice to not have to battle it out so often.  It would be nice to REALLY WANT to make nice and healthy choices rather than feeling like I should make them.  It would be a great relief to not have to listen to the fat mind ask for food to calm the negative emotions that tend to build up inside.  That is all it is really, a medicine to calm my negative BS that bothers the heck out of me.  Do you think a donut or candy bar is really gonna help make my woes disappear.  Do you think that even one bite of anything will even alleviate one ounce of the pain of coming up short.  NO, NO, NO!  If hunger is not the problem then food is not the answer.  I just can’t believe it sometimes though.  Sometimes my first inclination and thought is to eat some sugary fattyness to make myself feel better.  Heck, I even want it to make me go from happy to REALLY happy.  In the end it just brings more guilt and dis-satisfaction.  Food can’t do it.


8 Responses to “He’s/It’s not gone!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  1. June 2, 2009 at 9:04 am

    Thanks for this – I needed to hear it today. For some reason a big bag of Newman’s O cookies has been sounding really appealing lately. I think I’m just craving MINDLESSNESS again – not having to think so hard about food all the time. Now I won’t buy them!!!

  2. 3 donna
    June 2, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    No but God can.Im praying for you Jason.You know this is a battle that we have to deal with our entire lives,right?.But like you told me Jesus is here for us all we have to do is reach out to him.He will help us battle the bad guys,he has our back covered all the time.And we know there is a lot of bad guys out there isnt there,from food that we love and get comfort from or the real bad guy who got Eve to take a bite of the apple.We just have to keep on fighting with Jesus by our side.

  3. June 3, 2009 at 2:43 am

    I love this post. My post was about almost the same thing yesterday. It is kind of scarey to know that the Fat Person inside never really goes away. Of ourse in my head I know that this is a life long battle, but dang it, I hate it when my Fat Girl shows up to mess me up.

    If hunger isn’t the problem, then food is not the answer……….Probably the best reminder ever!

    Thanks for your thoughful post.

    • 6 run4change
      June 3, 2009 at 4:42 am

      Thanks for the comment Dana. It is amazing that the “fat mind” is so persistant.

  4. 7 Angela
    June 3, 2009 at 5:03 am

    I catch my reflection every single day still wondering where the rest of me is. I still pick up the pants off the rack that are too big, not believing the smaller pants truly do fit me. I still order way too much food sometimes because I think I’m exceptionally hungry. The size 30 woman no longer fits into the size 18 body, in more ways than one. I wonder every day if my fat mind will ever go away. I hear ya bro!

  5. June 5, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    I am glad to read this post. Not that you have to struggle with it but knowing that I’m not the only one. I have a hard time eating a few of somethings sometimes and not just devouring the entire bag. I love your quote that if hunger is not the problem food is not the answer. I’ll have to try and remind myself of that the next time the jar of peanut butter is calling my name.

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