I just could not do it.

This weekend I had a 20 miler to do.  I was to run the first ten at my long run pace and the second ten at my marathon race pace.  It was a routine long run.  I have done it many many times just as it was scheduled.  This time I just could not do it.  I ran one mile and was feeling completely exhausted.  I felt really bad about not doing it.  My coach even told me not to force it and to just do it next weekend but I felt horrible.  I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired.  Even that one mile was totally difficult to finish.  Here is why I think it might have been so hard:

  1. I stayed up until 1 am the night before.  This is very late even though I still got 7 hours of sleep.
  2. I have not been eating well lately.  Lots of sugar.  Sugar is bad and short lived.
  3. I have not been getting much sleep in genereal each day.
  4. I have wokred A LOT in my yard while still getting in all my workouts.
  5. I have just not been doing WW that good lately.

I hope to get this 20 miler in today but I am not sure if I will. It just might not work out.


8 Responses to “I just could not do it.”

  1. June 8, 2009 at 7:17 am

    HI Jason… I completely understand how you feel. There are days I can run 12-15 km’s and not even know it. Today it was torture running 3 km’s ! All we can do, is all we can do. Its like anything, some days you are into it. Alot just depends on the head space for the day. I beat myself up over it too. Its just another battle along the weight loss and weight maintenance journey.
    Just keep trying my friend,

  2. 3 lissa10279
    June 8, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Jason, it sounds like you’re letting black and white thinking get in the way of your success. I understand why it upset you to not finish, but remember too, running isn’t everything. This month you’ve been enjoying your wife, being outside (love your firepit!) and doing all sorts of fun things. Running makes you feel good, too — sure. But missing a 20-miler one day isn’t going to set you back. It just won’t. Over-training can be a part of why it didn’t happen, but sometimes our minds know more than our bodies. Heather at Heather Eats Almond Butter posted something similar today. You’ve come so very far, and maintenance is when my disordered eating behaviors/over-exercising/bad thoughts began … I fear the same for you, my friend … nip it now, you’ve come too far!!

    • 4 run4change
      June 8, 2009 at 2:44 pm

      Thanks lissa. I always appreciate your insights. HAve a great day. I will be doing the run today actually in just a little bit.

  3. 5 the Ringmaster
    June 8, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    In the balance of life, running is just running. You didn’t quit on your marriage, your job, or your Christ. Just one run. As long as you don’t make a habit of bailing on hard training, I don’t think it means anything–just that you’re tired. Sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough credit for other work, or enough of an off-season.

    I hope you didn’t drag the nineteen unfinished miles around too long. I promise when you get to Heaven, He will not ask you about this run. 🙂

    • 6 run4change
      June 9, 2009 at 4:52 am

      Ringmaster, this comment is highly meaningful to me and I appreciate it very much. Thank you.

  4. 7 Shannon
    June 8, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Oh Jason I had to laugh out loud when I read this post…probably not the response you were looking for!! This post is me…this is how I have felt for the last month too. Weird how you can talk yourself into eating more because you are still losing weight. I too started back strong this morning and will continue! You will do great!!

    • 8 run4change
      June 9, 2009 at 4:53 am

      Shannon, it is sooooo nice to know that others have the same “stuff” as me. HAHAHAHAHA 🙂

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