03
Aug
09

Secret page updated just now. Take a look and encourage the secret person.

The 75th secret has just been posted on the Secret Confessions page.  Please do take a gander at it.  It is something that I sure related to.  You might also.

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4 Responses to “Secret page updated just now. Take a look and encourage the secret person.”


  1. 1 Me Again
    July 29, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    You know, I have been thinking about this…and part of me is pissed that they are not pissed. They have been gracious in trying to understand, in listening and in just being there. I think part of me wishes they wouldn’t care enough to know what is real for me and that they would just be pissed off enough to walk away. I know it is crazy. I know in 2 days I will feel differently and for sure if that actually happened I would regret even thinking it. But truly, part of me wants them to be pissed off and angry and to leave. I also know, if this was one of them doing this to themselves, continuing to hurt themselves like this, I would be all over them, as they are me…so can I blame them?

    • 2 run4change
      July 29, 2009 at 12:11 pm

      You know secret person, what you are saying is part of the little cycle. It is the aloneness. The isolation. You go off by yourself and get drunk. That is isolation. Now with the guilt and negative feelings, you would prefer to go deeper into the isolation as to not have to F-ing worry about what they are feeling. Then in isolation, you go for the negative behavior again. I have done this millions of times. Maybe I am wrong but also maybe not.

  2. 3 Me Again
    July 29, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Ah so there is some rationale to my thinking? I have never been to this place before, not to the point of drinking. ANd before, my eating was done in secret, no one knew the ins and outs of it…I was just fat and the hows and whys didn’t matter. But I can see the cycle of isolation you speak of. especially as more and more know what is real for me…and my closest ones know everything, I just want to be left alone…that much is true…and yet I don’t. Had I really wanted that I wouldn’t have started texting people….right? Thanks for having this page…eventually I am sure all of this will end up on my blog, but for now at least I can talk about it with some anonymity…for despite the alias and no email, I am certain it is not difficult for you to know who this is. See I don’t REALLY want to be unknown…aagghhhh

    • 4 run4change
      July 29, 2009 at 12:36 pm

      It is a weird paradoxical thing. You want isolation yet you feel freakin’ lonely and hate that loneliness. it is like “leave me alone. HEY! Don’t you know I need your help!”


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