It is a freaking war over here. Take the poll too!

I feel like it would take this many people pulling for me to freaking eat good on WW for just one full damn day

I am at a loss right now for eating.  As you know, I can do running.  I can do goal setting.  I can do a lot of stuff but right now I am having the hardest time eating well.  Eating well is the most essential part of the weight loss and maintenance journey other than internal healing of self.  Without proper eating, I could gain all my weight back while still running and eventually running would end.  I am scared right now about this guys.  I have not been in this place since I was never on WW.  I have not given up hope though.  We all fight out fight but hearing you guys talk about your stuff on your blogs, I get courage from it.  I need you guys now.  I can’t do this alone.  I need some building up.  I know I get a lot of it already but this is a special time for me.  A VERY SPECIAL TIME.  A time like non other.  I am going to make it even if I do all bruised up and scratched.

So here is some truth for ya!  I weighed 211 when I went to Hawaii.  I weighed 207 the day after I got back.  I have not weighed since then because I am scared to death of it and it doesn’t even matter how much I weigh if I am not eating healthily.  I want to be in the 180’s and I won’t be able to get there before my 100 miler.  This was my goal but with all the Sh– that is going on I have been eating my emotions you know.  Here is what I am going to do.  I want to tell you all for the tiny bit of accountability that it is.  Usually you all forget after a while. hahaha  So I get to slip by.  Like quitting chewing.  Remember that one like a year ago, and then 6 months ago, and then a couple of months ago.  HAHAHAHA  I have quit now though.  12 days today.  No chew.  Here is what I want to do about this:

  • Take one moment at a time.  Bring it back to basics.  Make ONE GOOD HEALTH DECISION at a time
  • Keep my running program up to train properly for the 100 miler which is in 32 days.  It is not easy training for this type of race under this kind of emotional trauma, but I am convinced I will conquer.
  • Go grocery shopping for all necessary food to keep me going.
  • Blog more about my food, weight, and health struggles.  Get my mind focused
  • Go back to WW now that I am not so damn depressed.
  • Take every tiny freaking bit of encouragement you guys can give. 🙂
  • NEVER, and I mean NEVER give up.  One step, keeping on keeping on, I WILL MAKE IT DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my motivational pic for the moment. I am a hardcore athlete and I can get back into the shape I want to be in. I will win and live this battle.


12 Responses to “It is a freaking war over here. Take the poll too!”

  1. January 6, 2010 at 4:40 am

    Good job on not chewing – each of your bullets is right on.

    • 2 run4change
      January 6, 2010 at 6:17 am

      Thanks Steve. I always appreciate your comments. It has been a battle but that is ok right. This is how it goes I guess when you are going to keep it off forever. A little up, a little down, but not a LOT up or a LOT down. Trying to keep the ups and downs small yeah

  2. 3 Colleen
    January 6, 2010 at 5:06 am

    I am pulling for you to do this! We all want you to be strong and to get that motivation back so we can too! We are all in this together. YOU CAN DO THIS! You are solid gold!

  3. January 6, 2010 at 9:00 am

    I come here when I’m at my wits end. I come here when I need a helping hand. I look at all you’ve done and continue to do to and I get inspired. Inspired to run, to race, to win or at least say no to the donut… so thanks and hang in there because I’m counting on you

    • 6 run4change
      January 6, 2010 at 9:09 am

      Thanks dude. I appreciate your words more than you know. We will both make it in this fight. We are hardcore. 🙂

  4. 7 lochans
    January 6, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Of course you can do this Jason, I don’t know why you had the poll :)!! There should be only one option and that is of freaking course you are man!!Its great that you took the pic of the donut and did not eat it,Its just like the way I pick up my Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos bag and look at it and smell it and put it back on the shelf at the grocery store (I know that sounds weird :))
    What you did speaks volumes of your determination!
    You can do this!!


    • 8 run4change
      January 6, 2010 at 9:33 am

      Oh thank you so much Lochans. I love those cheetos too. MMMMM yummy. It does not sound weird either.

  5. 9 SAM
    January 6, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Hey Jason…did you notice all those little circle/dots on the picture of you at the bottom of the page…I have been told that when those show up, those are angel’s looking out for you…dont know if I believe it or not…but it could be true ~ and if so, man, you have lots of angel’s around you…I’m just saying. Keep up the fight my friend! SAM

  6. January 6, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    This is me, stepping up to grab the rope to pull. For You. I figure if I can’t get out of my own pit, yet, I might as well pull for someone else.

    One good choice at a time.

    With that said, I was in Costco the other day in Canada and walked past the refrigerator stuff. I looked down and saw this giant bag of pepperoni sticks. I thought of you, picked them up, thought about getting them, and put them back. Knowing that buying them was the first bad choice.

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