Still going…….but hobbling along

Here I am.  Never giving up, ever persisting on the journey of health, always enduring something, but all at the same time becoming more myself and more accepting of myself.  I am so not where I want to be.  In fact, I feel eons away from where I want to be but I am still taking steps, one at a time, towards that person I want to be.  I have great people in  my life now, people who encourage and uplifting, people who are there for me for real.  This is comforting but not as comforting as knowing that God is there for me.  That is VERY nice to know.  I am going to WW still.  Have been going faithful now again for a bit.  I feel good about this.  I am working in my yard again as the spring time here in Washington is upon me.  So I am going for that goal to improve my surroundings with peace again.  I also have a 50k race to run this week as my last long run before I fly down to Tennessee for my third Strolling Jim 40 Mile run.  It will be my third anniversary for running.  That is right, three years now.  In three years I have finished 14 marathons and 7 ultra marathons with one DNF at the 100 miler with a 63 mile effort.  I have no shame.  I have no negative feelings regarding what I have accomplished.  It is much the opposite really because I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to do and experience what I have.  Nothing worthwhile is so easy to attain.  It always takes endurance and many ups and downs.  This is part of the road we walk.  No road is pancake flat the whole way.  There are turns, some of them sharp, that cause a slow down.  There are up hills that cause a renogatiating of our goals.  There are down hills that bring a time of refreshing coasting where everything just seems easy.  But no matter what there is variety in the journey towards health and an authentic life.  There is nothing that will make me give up on what I want in my life.  I WILL GET WHAT I WANT OUT OF MY LIFE.  I have no doubt about that.  I deserve the best for me.  I deserve to treat myself well and healthily, even if others didn’t or don’t want to treat me that way. 

I am now doing the bare minimum with my running to just maintain my endurance rather than improve my endurance OR speed.  The 63 miles and the marathon effort after that took a lot out of me, so did my life circumstances in general.  So I am having mercy on myself now.  I will do my Strolling Jim for fun just like back when I did it the first time.  I will enjoy the movement and the trials of the 40 miles with no care about time or pace or anything.  Just go out there and celebrate my third full and consistent year of running.  Each year I improve, this year will be no different but now is not the time to pursue that.  Now is the time to get back to the roots of what running is to me.  It is a tool to enhance and enjoy my life more.  It is a tool to celebrate my victories in life.  It is a tool that teaches me much about my walk with God and through life in general.  I is a tool that gets me out into the elements of the outdoors, weather, and surroundings which helps me become more aware of how wonderful my life really is.

My eating, since my life is drastically different now, I have had a hard time readjusting to the basic time line of the day.  My general routines have changed a lot and that itself makes eating healthy and running kind of hard.  Not sure exactly why this is but it is happening nonetheless.  It is all coming together slowly though.  I am re-establishing routines that improve my life.  I am re-focusing on establishing those things that help me live healthier.  So I am feeling good about that.  I am not doing perfect at it of course, but everyday I move closer and closer to where I want to be.

Thank you all for reading and for all of your encouragement.  I desire very much to do a post on what has happened in my life, I am just not sure if the timing is right.  I hope that the time will be right sometime soon because I think that this part of my journey could really encourage a lot of people out there.

See you later.


11 Responses to “Still going…….but hobbling along”

  1. March 31, 2010 at 6:39 am

    Glad to see that you are still moving along. Good luck with your 50k and 40 miler! Wow.

  2. March 31, 2010 at 8:27 am

    Great for you Jason.. your dedication will get you there!

  3. 4 Ben
    March 31, 2010 at 10:52 am

    God has a plan for you. He has used your story in the lives of more people than you know. I usually just read and this is my first post. Hang in there brother.


  4. 5 Cecile
    March 31, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    You look so relaxed and comfy laying in that bed. Looks like you have finally let go of the bad stuff in your life and are trying for peace and comfort. I wish you health and happiness.
    Now get out of bed and go do some yard work,

  5. 6 Teresa
    April 1, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Hey Jason, It’s been a while since I’ve been able to stop by. I’m glad you are still here and still moving along. As always, I’m so impressed with the endurance running you do. I had to do a timed mile in a class this morning and thought I was going to die. Teresa (athlete)

  6. April 2, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    when you are ready to share, we will be here listening and not judging, but its wonderful that you want to help people that may be going thru it too. Congratulations on three years of running….you have come so far!

  7. 8 Lochans
    April 3, 2010 at 7:46 am

    3 years of running is awesome Jason! Wish you all the best for your upcoming races!

  8. 9 BarbieSneakers
    April 6, 2010 at 10:57 am

    I’ve been reading your blog for some time now and this is the first time posting a comment…I’m in awe of your strength, courage, motivation and endurance for all things you have done and accomplished!! I congratulate you on your upcoming three years anniversary! horray to you! keep it going…and at your own pace! this is your journey and not a race….keep your head up and we will be waiting here with open arms when you are ready. take care of yourself….

  9. April 6, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    This was so uplifting to read, and makes me want to go back and read through all your previous posts.

    As a person who has now made up her mind to lose weight, and about to start running to help with this, if I achieve half of what you have done, I’ll be proud of myself.

  10. 11 Angela
    April 7, 2010 at 5:02 am

    Better yet, get out of bed and come HERE and do some yard work. This hot mess needs landscaped. Big time. Where are you, my brother? I miss reading your daily ramblings. P.S. Love the pic of the dog.

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