Marathon 26 today and some thoughts on my weight

Here I am in today's marathon

It is 3:49 am on the Fourth of July 2010.  I am doing my normal pre-race routine of snack, coffee, and getting ready.  I normally get up about two hours before I have to leave my house or hotel.  Today I am at home because my 26th marathon is very close to home.  It is a super flat yet beautiful 26.2 miles in a farm land setting.  There will be acres upon acres of nicely grown landscaping plants and trees.  I of course love this because as I run I fantasize about my yard being completely finished and mature someday.  It will be like a park at home.  But I try to enjoy the process of getting it there as well as hope for the satisfaction of the finished product.   My plan today is to just finish it.  I woke up easily but when I put on a particular jacket that I have because my house is cold and it didn’t fit me well anymore I got pretty bummed out.  Oddly enough, possibly to many peoples surprise, you can actually run marathons and STILL gain weight.  My eating still is not where I want it to be by a long shot.  I think it is time for me to go back a read my own damn blog for inspiration.  There has been many ups and downs on my weight control journey but this has been a very long down.  It is discouraging to say the least especially when clothes that used to feel like a tent on me now feel snug and barely fit.  It’s funny because they now fit the way Audrey used to tell me they are supposed to fit.  But it just reminds me of the failure that I have experienced in this area for sometime now. 

I hear often through comments on the blog for me not to be to hard on myself about this.  I guess I might come across pretty negative and all when I write about my weight but I am actually pretty dang happy with and in my life right now.  It’s just this one area that has frustrated me to no end.  Why it frustrates me I don’t know because I know exactly how to fix it.  I am just not doing it.  It is not a knowledge issue it is more of a habitual issue.  I have gained much in the past few months from personal training and this has helped me tremendously get routine back into my life.  It has also helped me get my eating under control some too but not all the way.  I have 6 months to lose the weight that I have gained so that I don’t have to try to run 24 hours straight with this added weight strapped to my body.  Today’s marathon in fact is probably going to be done with more weight on me than any other marathon that I have ever done.  I have not weighed but I am pretty sure that it is.  The good news is that I will still finish at this weight which will still increase or maintain my endurance for when I do lose the weight.  I am not giving up still.  I am still working on myself.  But I am also accepting myself in new and healthy ways as well.

And by the way………….This will be my 4th marathon in six weeks which will move my “status” in marathon maniacs up to GOLD.  LOL!  Funny huh.  I went from 307 lbs to marathon runner, to slightly chunky and still runnning.  Done more marathons than ever at the heaviest “running weight” ever. HAHAHAHA.  See ya’ll later.


3 Responses to “Marathon 26 today and some thoughts on my weight”

  1. July 4, 2010 at 3:58 am

    Jason… I so admire your strength and courage! I am where you are, I lost, gained some back, I exercise 6 days a week (not marathons) and yes you can still gain weight, it only takes 500 calories a day to gain a lb a week. I have lost some, and cheered when I got out of the obese category and into the overweight category. Still I feel the same, I became certified as a personal trainer, and continue to think, how can someone like me train others! So I don’t… but I want to. so much!

    I don’t get the mind games we play with ourselves, I just wish we could see ourselves the way that others see us! The way we see each other, brave, dedicated, and inspirational (plus so much more)

    I have no doubt that you will finish your marathon, and have a great time doing it! I have no doubt that when you are ready you will get back to your goal weight… in the meantime keep on running, training and working on this journey, you will get there. I hope that you find peace and happiness there!

    Have a great run, and a wonderful 4th! Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

  2. July 4, 2010 at 5:13 am

    I hope the marathon goes well today. I still stand in awe!

  3. July 26, 2010 at 3:50 am

    Really good blog on weight loss. It good to see an honest account and you talking real sense too. Great!

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