Archive for the 'Jason’s angle' Category



19
Feb
10

Point of inspiration and rememberance.

Had a horrible day the other day.  It was just killing me how I have been eating, how I see my body, how I see my running, how I see myself in general.  Basically, had a bad day because of my self talk and just feeling bad for myself and so unconfident.  But……..I got an email from a good friend.  My good friend did not know I was basically in the pit of self hatred that day, but he was sensitive to it.  I can’t even express the importance of that email to me.  The only way I can explain it’s impact on me is LIFE CHANGING.  The email did not have any information that I don’t already know.  It did not have any secret to success.  It was just a PERFECTLY timed picture of my story injected into my life.  Basically, the jist of it was that he was telling a group of people about my journey from the start of WW all the way to DNF’ing at 63 miles in the 100 and through to present.  You see, my friend knows my “situation” in my personal life.  He knows that what I have accomplished during these dark days is nothing small.  So his email was a reminder to me.

It is so easy to forget what I have done.  That I have really done amazing things even for a person who has not lost 130 lbs.  He described the faces, the emotions, and the tears of the listeners of the real life story.  And by reading this, I was completely filled with life again.  It was like I was encased in this bubble or dark room but when I read the email I was removed from that fog and put into reality again.  I was humbled by the achievements that I had done.  I was appreciative of all the people who have helped and supported me along the way.  I was thankful for just not giving up on my own dreams while others were giving up on me.  I have a hard time, REALLY HARD TIME, having confidence these last three or four months.  I have been broken and forgot the stength that I really do have.  The ability to overcome.  I still struggle so much with loving myself, and accepting my body, and taking myself for who I am.  But yesterday I started out a fresh.  I ate perfectly.  I exercised well.  I thought well of myself.  Maybe………….I can start my new life on good terms with myself and achieve what I want for myself.  I want to achieve a healthy self respect.

04
Sep
09

Food, run, and fun. Yesterday

tetherow6I had a pretty full day yesterday.  My work was very busy and I went golfing aftward.  I got home around 8:30 which is getting very late for me as this should be my bedtime.  Over all though it was a good day.  My mental and emotional side was pretty good, WW went good, and I did great golfing too.

FOOD

My food was right on yesterday.  I did good and that felt good.  I was relieved to be able to have a great day of healthy eating.  Although I know how to do it I was afraid that I wouldn’t do it.  My resolve and appreciation for the health/weight loss journey was pretty strong.  Another big victory is that I did not eat junk even though I went golfing.  I tend to eat junk when I go golfing because afterward I am alone and in my car (my secret eating place) while at the same time soooooo hungry because of not eating for many hours.  This time, on the way to the golf course I bought two bananas that were not totally ripe which for some reason makes me feel more full than the totally ripe ones.  I ate one at the start of my round and I ate another right when I got done.  This held me over until I got home for dinner where I had an 8 point meal.

RUN

Yesterday my running schedule called for an easy 6 miler.  I knew work was going to be busy so I split the run up into two 3 mile runs.  I did three miles at lunch and three miles just at the end of the day before work was over.  I have a one hour period where the main production is finished but I am just waiting for people to finish up.  This is when I did my second run.  I did this easy run at about 8:30-40 minute miles.  My left hamstring was tender still from the speedwork on Wednesday but it faired well for the 6 miles.  The two runs were actually very nice.  During the run the highschool cross-country team in my workplace town was also running my same route so I got to run in their midst.  That was kind of neat I thouth.

FUN

My fun for the day was golf.  Of course fun is a very subjective determination.  I could have told you that I hated it at least two times during my 18 hole round.  Overall I did pretty good with a score of 86.  I was pleased with this score and with most of my shots.  It is such a difficult game to be good at.

Also on the menu for fun is a mini-vacation this weekend for me and my wife.  I will have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off which will feel like a one month vacation.  I am sure some of you can relate.  During the three days I have planned several things for Audrey and I to do together.  Saturday we will both get massages in the morning and then head off to the town we are staying in for shopping and exploring.  That evening Audrey will take a golf clinic as a complete first time golfer.  I am excited about this and hope she likes it.  If she doesn’t that is ok too though.  After the clinic we might hit some balls together and then have some kind of special dinner.  On Sunday I have 18 holes of golf first thing in the morning to give my wife some relaxing alone time for reading or whatever.  Then I scheduled a pedicure and manicure for her back-to-back so she will be getting done about when I get done.  She will be able to spend time at the spa in the hot-tub, steam room, etc. if she wants to.  Then at that evening I have golf planned as the last group of the day so we will not have any pressure from groups behind us.  This should make it more enjoyable for my beautiful wife and hopefully introduce the game in a more pleasant way.  Monday is totally open for sleeping in, talking, and relaxing.

19
Aug
09

Inspiration and hardship!

matisyahuI guess I don’t really need to say AGAIN that I have been having a seriously hard time with food but I will.  My exercise is just fine with the exception that I don’t do any cross-training.  But as far as getting a good calorie burn for the week I am doing well.    It appears that my relationship with food has actually gotten worse as time goes on.   I try really hard but then end up falling for the pepperoni, chips, not counting dinner, etc.  With the amount of running I do (which really is not a lot by marathoner standards) I will not return to my previous weight but I can be/get at a weight that is not at all comfortable.  I guess it is a Romans 7 thing for food and weight loss.  I want so bad to do good but I keep doing what I don’t want to do and can’t seem to do what I really want to do.  Thank you RINGMASTER for helping me in this respect.   I know you don’t know that you helped me but you did.  A LOT.

I feel like I am swimming against the current in a vicious ocean yet when I look around I am just in a wave pool at some water park.  The current isn’t horrible or impossible but my strength wanes.  When I tire or my emotional strength fades, I grab the first life raft (food) possible.  It may appear that I am depressed or despondent. Yet the truth is that I have a great deal of inspiration to forge on, press on to more health, take another step in the right direction.  I have the inspiration to forget about the 50 steps that I might take backwards and the wisdom to take my first step forward.  It is a race for life with a loving God as my primary strength.  I have forgotten this completely.  And I mean completely but I thank Him for the special people who have reminded me of the depth, breadth, and relevance of the REAL race and the REAL strength.

So last night I ate like crap.  Bacon and macaroni and cheese.  That is gone now.  My shirt doesn’t fit like I want it too.  That is leaving now.  My belt doesn’t latch at the previous and glorious indention.  This will change.  I can no longer see the tiny bit of abs that I could see before.  Nevertheless I have hope.  I believe in that which is not yet seen .  I will not give up.  I will never despair.  I can change once again both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  He has not given up and neither will I.

So much to be thankful for.  So much to remember.  So much ground that has been gained.  Miracles that have happened to me and my body.  It is all real and today I chose to remember.  Below are some very potent and special lyrics.   Read them and ponder them.  They actually mean something.  If you can guess the author that would be cool too.  I put a picture of him at the top. HAHAHAHA  That is not me up there.

Sometimes I lay under the moon and thank God that I’m breathing. Then I pray dont’ take me soon ’cause I am hear for a reason.  Sometimes in my tears I drown but I never let it get me down, so when negativity surrounds; I know someday it’ll all turn around.

It’s not about win or lose because we all lose when they feed on the souls of the innocent. Blood drenched pavement.  Keep on movin’ though the waters stay ragin’.  In this maze you can lose your way it might drive you crazy but don’t let it faze you no way.  Sometimes in my tears I drown but I never let it get me down, so when negativity surrounds; I know someday it’ll all turn around.

15
Aug
09

Perspectives! Life changing!

different_perspectives_465635On my way to work this morning one of my favorite Christian songs from Kutless came on my Ipod.  I wanted to share some of the lyrics with all of you because I have always felt that these lyrics were so powerful.  Then I will talk about how they relate to life for my and my weight loss journey.

  • You feel like your life’s crashing down all around you.  Let me ask if it’s really so bad?  Look at the world and it’s suffering, can you honestly tell me that no one else can understand all of the hurting inside.
  • Why can’t you see, that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away. Who could you be.  If your lense was changed for a moment would you still be the same.
  • Yestertday you really couldn’t see, by changing your angle a new world will be.  Revealed to your once blinded eyes by moving a few degrees.

As I said at the top of this post, these lyrics are very powerful to me.  They are not ony relevant for my weight loss journey but for life in general.  In fact, it seems that “your perspective” is really all that matters some times.  Many times I get really down and blue.  During these times I focus on the negatives and fail to even basically believe that any of the positives exist at all.  This crushes me for the short period that I am like this.  This perspective causes bad food choices, binges, junk food love, sneak eating, negative talk about my body, self-perpectuating cycles of eat/guilt/eat/guilt.

I am in this negative perspective paradigm right now.  But what is the true perspective?  For all of us, when we feel so down about the journey; WHAT IS THE TRUE PERSPECTIVE?  HOW DO WE CHANGE OUR PERSPECTIVE?  I think that changing perspectives is a choice albeit a very difficult one.  I also think that the more time that you spend in one the harder it is to change to the other.  Take my body image for example.  I looked at a larger and more obese body for sooooo many years that even though that image is from the past now, it is like a took a still photo of it and I still see it in my persepctive in the mirror at times.  It is not the true perspective though and I am slowly (very slowly) coming  to terms with the real picture now.

I want to share my present view point and then share the “actual” one.

PRESENT PERSPECTIVE

  • I can’t lose the few pounds that I have gained
  • I am getting bigger by the day
  • Everything is sooo hard
  • I am a failure so I should just give in to all temptations
  • I am not feeling appreciated
  • Food helps me feel better
  • Eating healthy is boring
  • My job sucks

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE

  • I am very good at losing weight and I have proved that
  • I have gained some weight but I am still under WW goal weight
  • All things are possible through Him who strengthens me
  • I fail sometimes but I am not a failure.  I am blessed and healthy
  • Even though I may feel unloved, many people and especially God love me.
  • Eating healthy makes me feel more healthy
  • Eating healthy is a great way to spice things up.  Anyone can eat unhealthy junk
  • My job is a dream job for many people out there and having a job in general is a blessing.
  • I am not a fat blob!

It is so hard for me to look at the positive sometimes especially when I am feeling low and don’t want to put the effort into climbing out of the black hole.  But the good is ALWAYS there, it is ALWAYS real, it is ALWAYS there for the taking if I can just remember it.  If I can just be thankful and grateful for what I have and for what has happened along this journey.

I am not doing well on weight watchers.  Nobody turned on the “difficult” switch when I wasn’t looking.  The program is the same. I am still an endurance athlete and “fit as a fiddle” (as Robfitness says).  I will ask for God’s help to change my view of what is going on.  Change my view on how strong I am with Him.  To change my view on what is still and always has been possible.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!  ARE YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE?

09
Jul
09

Running alone doesn’t keep the weight off!!

lisa_english_bulldog_running_123rfI know this might sound impossible but it is sooooo accurate.  Running/exercise will not keep you from gaining weight.  It can help you out a lot in the good fight for healthy but standing by itself it will not do it.  EATING! is the determining factor.  I mean you can gain, lose, or stay the same without exercise.  You might not be as healthy overall but your weight can be stablized or moved in the direction you desire.  Of course the best combination is using both exercise and proper eating to lose or maintain weight.  This is a hard lesson for me as a runner.  I dreamed of the possibility that running could offer me a carefree life regarding food and treats.  How far from reality my thinking was.

It is very easy to eat more than you burn while exercising.  Even after running 50 miles you can eat more calories than you burned even before you go to bed that night.  Here are some examples from real life calorie expenditures that I have experienced and what I could (and have) eat to still be able to gain.

  • 6 miles @ 7:28 pace= 857 calories.  My normal is to eat 3 maple bars.  This adds up to 1,380 calories.  I actually do this too!!!
  • Marathon @ 10:19 pace= 3,617 calories.  After this last marathon I ate: 32 oz of Mt. Dew @ 440 calories.  I then ate two sausages with buns: 1,100 calories.  I also had a two scoop ice cream cone at B&B: 565 calories.  So that is 2105 calories within about 2 hours of the marathon.  This does not include the 1,400 calories I ate during the marathon nor does it include my dinner and snacks later in the day.  So adding what I wrote up I have already consumed as many calories as I have burned just 2 hours after the race.

This are real life examples and it is here to prove to myself that eating is far more important in weight issues than is exercise for me.  I can do the exercise but I need to focus on proper eating again.  It is a myth that endurance  and vigorous exercise makes you hungry.  Good exercise actually supresses hunger.  It does not however supress the thoughts of entitlement to food though.  Hopefully you enjoyed a small journey into the depths of my life. HAHAHAHAHAHA

14
May
09

Chafing from running!

sports bra chafing

sports bra chafing

When we run, our body parts rub each other.  At first it is not a big deal but as a person goes further and further (for them) the body parts chafe.  The body gets used to a distance and won’t chafe anymore but when you increase the distance beyond what the chafing areas are used to, they will chafe again.  The body parts don’t even have to touch for

Thigh chafing

Thigh chafing

them to chafe.  They can chafe just simply by rubbing on your shirt,  your bra,  maybe your jacket is heavy because of rain, socks, etc.  This is all to common and for many people just starting out it is a painful surprise.

So how does a person prevent chafing. 

shirt and HRM strap chafing

shirt and HRM strap chafing

There are many ways to prevent chafing while running.  For small areas like nipple, tops of feet, points on the colar bones, etc. you can use a band-aid or moleskin.  This will just prevent the friction all together.   One larger spots, just covering the area won’t usually work.  For thighs and legs you can prevent it buy wearing running pants or special running short liners.  I

nipple chafing

nipple chafing

don’t like this method but many people use it.  There is also body glidethat you can use for both large and small areas.   During marathons and ultra-marathons Vaseline is commonly handed out on sticks so that runners can apply it to chafing areas to reduce the pain but by that time the chafing has already occurred.  Vaseline does work to prevent chafing if you put in on prior and usually you have to reapply it later on too.  My personal to prevent chafing is Vick’s Vapor Rub.  This sounds crazy but even for a 50 miler I only put it on prior to the race and did not have to put it on again.  At the end of the race I had no chafing anywhere that I had put the vapor rub.

What do you do with chafing once it happens.  Ouch!!!  It hurts, you walk bow legged.  Showers kill!!!!  HAHAHA  To prevent things from rubbing the chafing you can cover them with a lubricant like body glide or Vaseline.  This is just a way to reduce the pain of further friction.  I think the miracle drug to remedy chafing that has already occurred is Vick’s Vapor Rub.  I don’t know why it works but it does.  If I have chafing, I can put the vapor rub on when I go to bed and it is all better by the morning.  It is amazing.  You should try it.
13
May
09

Biggest Loser Finale. The good, the bad, and the sad.

the-biggest-loserOhhhhhh Boy!!!!  This wild and crazy season of biggest loser is officially over.  I really enjoyed this season although the finale was anti-climatic for more.  I was not quite moved as I have been in the past.  I am not sure why that is exactly but it is what it is.  There were many things that I loved about the finale though and many things that I very much didn’t like.  I am sure that many of the things I did not like you also did not like.  So here is my review of the outcome of 6 months of hard work by the contestants.

 

THE GOOD

There were multiple things that were good!  How about Mike.  HAHAHA  He looked like a movie star basically.  Very handsome, more humble, and as genuine as ever.  He just looked great and he glowed with joy about his new life.  It was great to see it.  I was also extremely happy with the results that Jerry and Kristenhad achieved while at home.  I did not care for Kristen’s hair cut much and I had a tiny suspicion that Jerry had been drinking before coming onto the finale, but boy did they do fantastic.  Their transformed bodies proved that it can be done.  Jerry not only changed dramatically on the outside but inside too. What new and vigorous confidence he had.

Tara is back in model form and she displayed much gratitude for her transformation.  Demonstrating that she is a winner at heart, she blamed much of her success on those who helped her.  That is truly a winner’s attitude.  I was also so happy to see that Danielactually kept at it.  He rate of loss was not what it could have been but it was phenomenal to say the least.  He stuck with it and I think he we keep sticking with it.

THE BAD

I think we all know what the bad is.  At least the major bad. HAHAHA  The only mom on earth that would vote her own daughter off the show only to leave her in the dust and embarrassment of not doing that great at home.  The mom who could not stop talking about herself and manipulated craftily throughout the season.  The mom whose tears were only regarding her own success rather than her daughter’s or others.  That’s right, Helenwon the grand prize of being the biggest loser.  I did not like this outcome much.  She did drastically cut the weight.  She was a bit too skinny looking but I am sure she will even out as far as her weight.  It is a given that the contestants dehydrate themselves the best they can prior to the finale weigh-in and Helen was a supreme case for this.  She was very dehydrated but it got her $250,000 dollars.  I could just see the sadness in her daugther’s face while she pleaded with us to believe that what they chose was the best thing for both of them.  Hog fooey and donkey dung.

THE SAD

I got sad for a few of the contestants.  I was sad for the two African American ladies who I cannot recall their names at the moment.  I really thought that the one would do great at home.  I was also sad for Daniels partner who seemed embarrassed by the fact that he really never cared about losing weight in the first place.  Finally, as you already know, I was sad about Helen’s daughter not having a great loss.

CONCLUSION

Now don’t get me wrong, every contestant did great.  Even those who appeared not to lose much weight lost enough weight to make most of us believe that we can lose the pounds at a healthy rate while living out our normal lives.  Even the ones that made me sad lost weight like normal people.  I just think that if I had to go on TV in front of every in six months that I could make sure I lost weight like a crazy man just to avoid the fear and embarrassment that would  be there if I did not do that great.

All in all it was a great season and I was proud of each of them for starting out on the life long journey of health.

08
May
09

Ultra-marathon and southern food!!

dscn2344

Well here I am a little more than 20 miles into the Strolling Jim 40 miler.  Relaxed, happy, and full of energy. HAHAHA  My wife took this picture as she drove away from giving me some of my Hammer Nutrition Perpetuem.  At this point in the race I was of course actually feeling a bit tired.  Five miles more though and I hit a serious second wind and took right off.  This is a good example of the scenery that I ran in too.

dscn2368 

After the race I ate the traditional barbecued chicken lunch with coke, but a couple hours after that we went to the historic bell buckle cafe.  Bell Buckle is the birth place of the Moon Pie and RC Cola.  It is also home to a fantastic cafe with real southern cooking.  Southern is short hand for deep fried and tasty fatty yumminess. HAHAHA  I had pulled pork, fried corn bread, blue berry salad that was actually a cobbler thing, fries,  and something else that I can’t remember.  The picture is of my wife’s food.  It was great.

29
Apr
09

Big change (of opinion) on the biggest loser

the-biggest-loserWow! Wow! Wow!  I have had a huge change of heart regarding the contestants on the biggest loser.  I have had a complete change of who I wanted to win the show.  First, let me quickly recap on last weeks show since I have not been on the blog to much lately.

Last week my favorite got voted off and for good reason: KRISTEN WAS A BIG THREAT!  Last weeks show was also were my shift in contestant favorites began to happen.  It all started with Mike’s comments during the vote.  A new “cockyness” came out of him that I don’t recall seeing before.  He said that he had it in the bag to win the show.  That did it for me.  I no longer wanted Mike to win. I did not like this attitude but I will admit that this is the attitude that it takes to win.  It is just not the attitude that you blurt out for all others to hear.  I believe that he is young and just doesn’t really get that little social rule that you don’t bring others down in order to bring yourself up.  It is great that he believes that he will take it all home and he probably will, but he didn’t have to display this for all to see.  Mike lost my vote that night.  His dad, as you have all warned me, is a sneaker sucker and I don’t know how I missed that for the whole season.  I did not agree with any of you until last weeks show.  At the same time he is being the best dad he can be by trying to help his son get to the top.  What parent wouldn’t want the best for their child.  HAHAHA  Well, I guess Helen is one of those parents who didn’t want the best for her child. I mean hell, she voted off her own kid under the deceptive mask of “she can do it at home”!!!  So last week I shifted to Philipe as my favorite and Tara actually started to grow on me a little.  Can you believe it????????????

This week was wonderful to see the external and internal rewards of exercise and diet.  I was so happy for Ron’s victory in the medicine department even if he is a master mind manipulator as far as game play goes.  Tara displayed once again that she is a mighty warrior as a competitor as she “pulled her weight” to victory at the final challenge.  Boy, the true colors are really coming out.  What are people there for.  It appeared to me that Philipe was the only contestant who still had the “right reason” mind set intact.  I loved him for this.  After all the game play, all the weight lost, all the trials; he still maintained the focus that he started with.  He accomplished what he set out to do: Change his life and the lives around him.  He had all the contestants in tears as they were humbled by his glorious humility and heart.  They wished that they were there for the right reasons too I believe.  I don’t blame them though, I would be playing the game to so that is just another reason why I really liked what Philipe had to say.  He is a good man.

So now who do I want to win????????  Believe it or not, as I have to choose between three people who even have a chance to win (Ron has no chance of to win the show and would throw it for the sake of his son even if he had the chance), I want Tara to win now.  I just don’t want Mike to win anymore.  I like to see the “COCKY” people go down and the humble rise up.  Although Tara nor Helen are all that humble, I think Tara has made great strides in realizing the life change possible by what she is doing.

In the end however, I think Mike will take the prize and I only hope that his perspective can change.  Right now his motives are all mixed up.

17
Apr
09

Imagery for escapism.

image credit: homeyra.files.wordpress

image credit: homeyra.files.wordpress

In talking with a friend the other day about my own former and present desire to escape using food, drugs, etc., I shared an imaginative word picture to describe the reality of trying to escape. 

I may have shared this before but I can’t really remember.  I hate rejection.  I hate knowing or feeling like the people I love are mad at me.  It hurts me and I don’t deal with it good and when I feel like they are mad at me I sometimes eat to escape the feeling.  I used to drink to escape it, then I ate to escape it, maybe now I run to escape it.  Not sure but the point is that you really can’t escape the feelings and emotions and the situations of life.  We can try as hard as we want to but life goes on and so will the chaos around us.  We must walk on and fight our way through it.  I can’t escape, so maybe I should stop trying too.

Here is my word picture.  Sit back and relax.  Try and really picture this little imagery story in your mind as you read it.  Try to “see” it.  It impacted me greatly years ago and I find it to be true to this day.

As you get high or drunk or sugar drunk, you slowly yet peacefully start to rise up and float away from your chaotic surroundings.  All the craziness and hurt disappears as it gets smaller and smaller while you move towards the clouds.  You look down with a sigh of relief that all the crap is going bye bye.  It is becoming smaller to you even second.  Now you are in the clouds.  You have forgotten the chaos.  Enjoying yourself.  The peace, the quiet, the relief.  Of but wait a minute.  You start to float back downward.  You body leaves the clouds then your head.  You can begin to see the remnants of the chaos below as it grows in size.  Closer.  Cloooser.  Even closer now.  You abruptly touch down exactly in the same spot from which you left.  Nothing has changed.  Nothing is better.  You landed safe and sound but everything you were trying to accomplish by going up into the clouds is frivolous now.  You are in the same spot as you were before and the chaos is the same or it may have even grown in magnitude.  Then you try to go up again…….

Now think about if you spend years trying to escape only to find that you have lost that many years.  You keep trying to get away but life keeps on going by and when escaping doesn’t work you end up back where you started only further behind.  Food can’t do it.  Alcohol and drugs can’t do it.  Sex can’t do it.  Love can’t do it.  Nothing will work when you are trying to escape.  We can do this.  We can learn and grow and change so that we don’t have to try to escape and avoid anymore.  We can move on from the hurts.

09
Apr
09

Winning the biggest loser. How does one pull it off?

the-biggest-loserThe biggest loser is more dramatic as far as game play goes than I have ever seen it.  I was either totally enmeshed in the emotion of the contestants losing weight in previous seasons that I did not notice the game play or this season is over the top on this aspect.  It is highly interesting to me being a psychology graduate to see people evolve and show their true colors as the pressure builds.  I still have to say that I totally love Kristen because she seems to have the best strategy in mind:  LOSE WEIGHT AND STAY ABOVE THE YELLOW LINE.  Maybe she has deceived me into thinking this but it appears that her attitude is right one.

Wow!!  That is all I have to say about Ron and the cousins.  What a firey battle they were in over the week.  And although I just don’t like Tara, she STILL is proving to be the contestant with the most “fight” in her.  It is great to watch her determination.  I did have to laugh though when Tara’s partner was so wanting to have the power  but when the power came she was just not able to handle it because she seemed to forget that with authority and power comes a lot of responsiblity.  You call the shots, you get the blame. HAHAHA 

I am interested to see how it all works out.  What do you all think?

25
Mar
09

A little late, but worth the read/look!

 This pic was taken last summer when I started my landscaping project.  As I have said before, I removed enough lawn to reduce my mowing time by 1.5 hours.  The pic below was taken after I used a sod cutter to remove the lawn and then I rolled it up.  After that, I had to load a tractor with the rolls and move it to another giant heep of landscape refuse.  I was all happy about removing the sod but once I got it to this point I got serverely over taken with anxiety because the job was just to huge.  I did it though.  The picture below is the former view of the screening bed on the property line between me and my neighboor.  Removing the sod gave the lawn and bed a very nice informal flowing shape.  By the way, those rolls weigh around 60 lbs each.  It took me about a week to remove all the rolls from all the sod that I cut.  This picture shows only about half of the sod that I removed but it is a great demonstration of the vast amount of rolled sod.

sod removal landscape

 So below is the pic I put up the other day.  This was taken from pretty much the same view point as the above pic.  What a difference it made.  Along with the beautiful trees I will plant several Osier Willows, Red and Yellow twig dogwoods, and lost of Spireas.  I will leave most of the shrub plantings to wait until fall because I have no way to easily water this area at the moment.  It is to far from the house to water by hand.  The trees will be fine but the shrubs would need more careful watering.

 

10 ft. cedars are now planted.

10 ft. cedars are now planted.

23
Mar
09

Big ‘ol trees planted. Moving on to next phase.

10 ft. cedars are now planted.

10 ft. cedars are now planted.

Ok, I just saw this picture on my wifes blog.  She is so awesome a taking outdoor pictures.  I knew she took them and I had planned to steal them from her but I did not know that she blogged about the yard yet this week.  So I used my high tech theivery to get it on my blog.  I am always jealous of her blog because I think it is sooo cool.

Anyway, the trees are in.  This if four out of the six that I planted as a privacy screen.  The flower bed that they are in will container other shrubs that will be around 6 ft. wide by 6 ft. tall mature hieght.  This will add more screening yet not overwhelm the yard with trees and shade.  The planting bed itself is about 200 feet long so it will take a lot of calorie burning work to fill it.

I have three trees to plant and they will be here by Wednesday.  I also have a couple of trees that I must dig up and move to other locations to make it all flow well.  The transplant will be the harder ones.  They take more digging and more time.

So there you go for my little landscaping up-date.

23
Mar
09

Can I climb out of the pit of bad feelings and food?

So I am feeling like poooo today.  I was thinking that I usually don’t post about feeling like this but maybe I am always doing it but don’t realize it.  I did not really even do WW over the weekend.  I made the excuse that since my WW calculator broke and is not repairable that I just didn’t have to count.  Well, I could have done great without counting anyway but I chose to eat junk food quite a bit.  That had nothing to do with counting.  I did get my two longer runs in this weekend and feel that my marathon recovery is now over.  I am ready for a new week in training.  I am also ready for a new week in eating too.  I will buy a new calculator at my Tuesday WW meeting.

I am just feeling depressed.  Although my weekend was supposed to be fun and relaxing, it stressed me out a lot.  I do not do well at all when I am feeling torn in many directions while at the present I am limited on time to get it all done.  I tend to just give up.  There are several things I WON’T GIVE UP THOUGH!!  That is time with my wife, eating right, exercising, and keeping my house nice.  All other things must be side issues except this weekend those things were creeping into the forefront of my mind, time, life…..  I wonder if I will be able to crawl back out of the big sink hole of being torn.  This same thing happened when I was training for the 100 miler.  The great thing is that my wife backs me up all the way this time since our goals are much more aligned with each other.

Do you every feel torn between things that are not really that important and the things that you feel are most important?  Maybe the non-important things are being pressured on you by others, do you ever feel this way?

20
Mar
09

Real, beautiful, and powerful Christian Video. Now public with no more password.

Ok, you probably know by now that I went to ACU (Abilene Christian University). I loved it there and God totally changed my life using that place and the people that I met. This video is by some present students at the university and my wonderful friend who is head of the marriage and family counseling center there sent this to me. I was touched through and through. I was in tears just watching it because it demonstrates the true life of a christian person. It shows the struggle and the spiritual victories in a real setting. It also shows that the decision of one guy impact his friends for good and for God. Check it out. You won’t be disappointed.

20
Mar
09

Best of both worlds.

As the good weather comes in, I am going to be burning some extra calories and getting fit in new ways with the help of my yard.  That’s right, landscaping.  I have a pretty big yard and a landscape plan that encompasses all of it.  It has been requested by some that I post pics of the work that I am doing so every now and then I will do so.  Today is one of those days.  I know it is a bit off topic but the simple fact is that yard work is fantastic for our bodies and it produces a result that improves our lives and the communities that we live in.  So having a nice yard doesn’t just affect me, it affects all the people who see it.  It has the potential to bring peacefulness and inspiration to those who pass by or visit.  This is not about impressing others or keeping up with the “Joneses”.  I truly believe that creating a beautiful scenery is a help to the surrounding community.  Landscaping is the best of both the exercise and community improvement worlds.  Here are some pics.

This is the plan on paper

This is the plan on paper

 All in all, there are many neat things that I will be doing with my landscape.  Many wonderful native plantings as well as ALOT of lawn removal.  I have created all the planting beds now and with the amount of lawn that I removed I have reduced lawn mowing time from about 3 hours to about 1 hour and 15 minutes.

This is th flagstone path that I built

This is th flagstone path that I built

 This is the main flagstone path the I built that runs from my driveway to the rear of the house.  I did this all myself after work in one week.  This was really hard work but not near as hard as creating the beds by removing sod.

This is three of the six 10' cedars for screening

This is three of the six 10' cedars for screening

 These trees will provide screening of the neighbors for more privacy.  All in all there will be 29 new trees of various types planted.  I have planted 26 so far.  Trees add structure to a landscape.

This is my back lawn with additional flagstone paths that I built coming off the deck and through the trees on the right.

This is my back lawn with additional flagstone paths that I built coming off the deck and through the trees on the right.

This is a view of my back lawn from almost the property line.  It is a vary nice and relaxing atmosphere which is my goal for the plan.  Providing beautification and peacefulness to my home is the desired outcome.  Oh yeah, and fun too.  I am hoping that it will be a great place for my future children to play and frolic.

I will keep updating pics as I move along.  My wife takes these pics as you can tell they are of a much higher quality as compared to when I take them. HAHAHA  HAve a great day

19
Mar
09

Why are we so scared too….

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fat-guy-on-the-beachI tell the truth here.  I am afraid to take my shirt off in public whether I am around guys or girls or kids or adults.  It does not matter where it is or what I am doing.  I avoiding swimming for years and hot tubs with my wife too, just because I was scared to take off my shirt and let the world see my round globe of a belly.  I honestly don't know what it is such a big deal to me. In fact, I hate the fact that it bothers me because why should I even care what other people think and they probably aren't even thinking about anythin most of the time.

I have lost my weight and it does not make a difference on this subject.  Now I don't want people seeing the loose skin and dang stretch marks.  I bet even if I got a tummy tuck I would feel the same way.  What is that?  What do you guys think?  Do you have a problem with public awarness of your body.  Bikini, bathing suit, tank tops, etc.  You know what I mean.  I want to hear from all of you whay your take is on this?

17
Mar
09

Run4change review of V-moda headphones

V-moda headphones

From the time I can remember, I have always been a lover of music.  My first CD was Europe “The Final Countdown”.  I listened to that song over and over.  Then one day I got a portable CD player.  The only problem was that if you used it during any type of exercise it would skip like crazy.  Then on another day the Ipod came out.  Wow, what a revolutionary idea that was.  Now people could run and exercise while listening to music without this big heavy thing that skips.  The only problem is that the Ipod comes with these white yucky ear buds that just hurt the heck out of my ears and they don’t stay in very good while running.  Finally, one of my ear buds went bad so it was time to do some replacement shopping.  So off I went to find me some new headphones.

I ended up getting some pretty good “in the ear” headphones by V-Moda.  I got red “bass freq” ones.  These headphones are small just like the normal ear buds but they are far superior.  They have nice silicone covers in three different sizes to fit into your ear comfortably.  No pain, not much outside noise coming in, and the sound quality is great.  These tiny little things really do put out some bass along with some cleanly smooth mid’s and high’s.  I love them.  They were developed as an active lifestyle headphone so they made them specifically for those of use who listen to music on the run or bike or hike or weight lifting or even the evil stairmaster.  They are mid-level on the pricing.  Lots of others out there are cheaper and lots of them are more expensive.

V-moda headphones 2

I highly recommend these headphones.  Here is a short break down of the good things I have noticed while using them with some links to the competition so you can make your own choice.

  • Comfortable- No more ear rubbing when you take them out
  • Noise isolating technology
  • Good bass for a small phone
  • Secure in the ear
  • Attractive color choices so you don’t have to be like everyone else
  • Modawrap cable manager lets you keep the cables nice and tighty without the hassle of tangles.

Competition

JVC air cushion ear buds

Danon AH-c35

JVC HANCX77 In-ear canal buds (more expensive)

Future Sonics Atrio Series (VERY EXPENSIVE)

Otto V35

16
Mar
09

Skinny person says,”I need to lose weight”. Larger person says, “What the …………”

image credit: www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com
image credit: http://www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com

I was absolutely blown away by a comment on one of my previous posts.  I mean I was totally shocked.  In fact, I can’t even express the shock/eye opening/revelation/amazingness.

I have not experienced an “Oh my God” moment like this for a long long time.  This was not a “hater” comment, nor was it even a negative comment.  It just simply opened my eyes to the truth in a very real way.  I love this about having my blog.  You all say some amazing things that stir up thought and emotions that help me and others grow. 
Basically, the comment touched on a situation that we are all very familar with.  Here is the situation as the commentator put it, “Speaking from my own experiences, you know how when you were fat and some skinny person would talk about how fat they were, or how they needed to lose weight? And you would think to yourself “oh, pul-leeze!”  So my commentator friend told me “Well that’s you now, dude.”
This was in no way meant to be offensive or mean and I did not take it that way.  It was like the first time that I realized that the skinny person in the story is me.  I have kept my weight off for over a year now and it took a wonderful person to say, “Well that’s you now, dude.” for me to actually see it.  Holy freakin A.  I sent shock waves through me.  I was sitting in bed at 4:30 in the morning reading this comment on my blackberry all tired and such but when I read that little part I was wide awake and in Awe. 
Part of me was happy that I was the skinny person but part of me was scared that I had been doing the skinny person part in the situation.  I hope that I have not been offending anyone because I am a skinny person hoping to lose 8 more lbs or so.  I don’t think I have.  I am pretty sure that everyone knows my heart and that I am just trying to be as healthy as an emotional eater can be.  I came from being really big to now being healthy but I guess I just never saw it that way.  I guess the fat mind is still in much more control than I had thought. HAHAHA.  Put yourself in my shoes for a minute.  Think of yourself at your goal weight, feeling super strong and healthy, and reading this comment.   I read that comment and for a split second think why would she say  that I am that person (Because that is what I first said because I never thought of myself as that person) and then BAM,  It hits me like a ton of bricks.
Thank you Maggieapril for leaving that comment.  You really helped open my eyes to the fact that I have accomplished a lot.  I know that I know this already and many people tell me all the time but your comment just revealed it in such a unique and real way to me.  I needed that.
13
Mar
09

Blind eyes opened. On the verge of giving up. Very meaningful post for me (Long)

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill

This is just on my heart to write about today.  It is a common feeling to want to give up on weight loss.  I have felt like giving up on myself so many times since I started my weight loss journey that I could not even begin to count how many of these “episodes” that I have had.  I have noticed one common theme during times like this.  I am completely blinded to the truth.  It is as though I have no comprehension of what is “actually” going on.  I get into the negative just a little to deep and I can’t see the light anymore.  I see hopelessness, impossibility, failure as the only option, fear, and worry.  And although the way I am feeling is totally real, my feelings at the time are not based on reality.  My feelings during these times are based on a false perception that I have constructed in my own mind.  That false perception is that I can’t make it to where I want to go.

What do I do about this?  I don’t get like this that much anymore, but it still does happen.  It happens to all of us and not just regarding our weight loss journey.  I think that this is a normal thing the happens in all kinds of aspects of our lives.  I wanted to quit when my masters degree got really tough, I wanted to quit my job when it got crazy and out of control, I wanted to leave when I was fighting with family and wife, but I didn’t.  Why didn’t I quit when the going got tuff?  Because staying in my job, in my marriage, getting my degree, loving my family, and making it to my weight loss goal was worth the temporary pain and hurt whether is was emotional or physical.  It is temporary!!  It won’t last forever.  The pain of not losing will stick with you far longer than the pain of momentary failure will.  Plus, the joy of conquering the momentary failures and moving past and through them is a personal growth point that cannot be replaced.  Read on to find out more info. about winning the fight when you want to give up. Continue reading ‘Blind eyes opened. On the verge of giving up. Very meaningful post for me (Long)’