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Losing your identity? Injuries!

running identity prisonSo after my super long training weekend a week and a few days ago, I found my knee hurting in a way that was not normal.  This is how it goes with doing these long runs and that is why listening to your body and being observant is so important while training and racing.  This week I have tried to run a few times only to find that my knee still hurt within the first 100 yards or so and this COULD be very discouraging.  In fact, this close to a race it could be down right devastating to some.  For me though, not so much.  Why you ask???????? Here is why:

RUNNING IS NOT MY IDENTITY!  I love running, I love what running does for my body and mind, I love what I learn about life from running…………………but running is not the only thing.  I have been where running and what it does for me was my identity but not anymore.  There is a lot to life and it is pretty normal to feel that without that “one thing” that you love that you would not be who you are.  For some it is that significant other, or a job, or drugs, or whatever……and the thought of losing any of those “one things” brings up fear in most to the point that they will cling to the thing to their own detriment.

Running is a vehicle for many things.  It adds enjoyment and vigor to my life.  If I couldn’t run anymore I don’t want to be in a spot where I can’t enjoy life or live with vigor.  I mean do you wan to lose your vigor or enjoyment of life because only one aspect is not working out in it?????  I doubt it, but this may have not ever crossed your mind.  It’s great to have focus but you also have to have the ability to adjust to life to keep it invigorating and lively.

So despite this set back, I know that I am ok and that my body will be ok and that I can accomplish all that I want in life even if I can’t run.  I am not at the place where I can’t run anymore and hope I never get there, but for now I need to back off a bit to heal up and I am happy as ever!

Try not to see your life as a prison just because you can’t do a particular thing!


BACON! Pics of my bacon explosion for tomorrows xmas party

Today I put together the nemesis of weight watchers.  The Bacon Explosion!   Two pounds of pork sausage, two pounds of bacon, BBQ sauce, and BBQ spices.  I am making it for our company xmas party which is tomorrow night.  Here are some pics.  I better save up ALOT of points for my WW eh???  I will have a great week of running next week luckily so should be no problem earning enough activity points.



Last big one done, on the road to the race……

GetAttachment.aspx50 miles!  I did it!  I got my last long run in this weekend before my big 24 hour push on December 28th.  I was so excited to have gotten fit enough to do this long of a run and I feel once again that I am an Ultra-Runner.  That feels good and it took a lot of patience, training, wisdom, and passion.  I didn’t get through it unscathed though.  I hurt my knee a bit in the areas you see in that picture.  I don’t believe it’s an injury but it is talking to me and I always listen to my body to ensure the long term goal of fitness and health.  I mean who cares how far I can run if when I am done I can’t run anymore for 5 months or ever again potentially.

The run was pretty dramatic also.  It rained/snow/hailed three different times during the run and it was very cold, I lost my head band that kept my ears warm somehow (you’d be amazed at how hazy your brain works after so many hours), and my ipod died early so I couldn’t listen to my recordings for MKMMA.  Nonetheless, I finished this puppy and it took me about 10 months to get to this point again after a long vacation from running and being health conscious.  I feel back more than ever and am on my way to keeping on keeping on one step at a time.

Things for the readers to remember:

  • Stuff takes time.  I have been doing this stuff for years even though I took a big break in the middle of it all.  When I started this journey at my all time high weight years ago, I couldn’t even barely walk 2 miles.  I kept at it and it is worth it all the way.  Be patient with yourself, love yourself, and listen to yourself.
  • It’s painful at times.  It hurts to run 50 miles.  There is no getting around it.  And if you have never run or exercised, it is gonna hurt to walk 2 miles just like it did for me.  It hurts a bit to get on the scale to see you are bigger than ever, or see that after a year on the weight loss journey you gained 3 pounds one week. Take all of this pain and be objective about it.  Don’t judge yourself, just take it as info that can help you succeed down the road.
  • You can do it too.  I truly and honestly believe that just about anybody can run 50 miles, but most people would never want to and I get that.  Here’s the thing though, you can do FAR more than what you currently believe that you can do.  Begin to believe THAT and things will start to change.
  • Starting is the biggest challenge.  Getting to the starting line is the biggest thing you can do.  No reason to wait until xmas is over, or the holiday temptations are done.  “Do it now”.

Faster, Rainy’r, longish run!


This weekend I had a half-marathon to run on my own out on the curvy hilly roads of my hood.  The task was to keep a faster pace.  Often when training for really long races and runs, I do shorter runs at harder paces to keep myself in shape for shorter distances and this ultimately creates faster longer distances. It rained like crazy.  For about 3/4 of the run.  I took this pic because this little river developed in a matter of only about 20 minutes.  The cool thing is that instead of dread the rain or hate it, I turned my mind to loving it by realizing it was a cleansing run that was refreshing!  Awesome huh??? Did you realize that you can DECIDE how to think about something…….even rain during your run.  And that if you do this in a positive way it will help you in the rest of your life.  I think that that’s pretty darn cool. So next week I have a long run weekend again.  I will post about it then but I have to go about 50 miles in a 24 hour period and that will be my last long run before I hit the road for the Across the years race in Arizona. Wish me luck!



Most of you would probably laugh if you could hear what song I was listening to.  I only know of one person who knows the song other than me. HAHAHAHA.

Anyway, I am in a place I never would have dreamed I would be.  Tonight, I have found comfort in that there are many of you who are at a place where you never thought you would be right now.  Life happens, things get all out of hand, and then the dust settles around you while you think, “Damn!!! What the heck happened”.  HAHAHAHA.  Sometimes we do this to ourselves and sometimes others do it to us.  As  I showered tonight I pondered on the similarity of experiencing an affair and obesity.  I found one common thread, they lead you to a moment in time where you are in a place you never thought you would be.  This is how it goes.  We eat and we grow and we eat and we grow.  We never dreamed of one day being BIG or FAT or CHUNKY!  That is not what we aspired to.  Nor did I dream or hope for what I went through.  I guess I am just trying to say that I had a tiny revelation that me, you, people, often times find themselves not being the person they wanted to be.  Or maybe just being the person they didn’t want to be.  Or one day we might just have this tiny moment where we see with such clearity that we know we aren’t where we are at but we also see that there is a way to where we are going.

Right now is right now.  We are here.  What can we do about then!  THere is so much hope.  There is so much promise for our futures.  There will still be many more valleys, and mountains, and hurts, and a pains.  But we don’t need to eat over them.  We don’t need to give up over them.  If you find yourself in the wrong painting or in a circumstance of life that is not anywhere near what you dreamed of, do not give up hope.  You may be big right now.  That is ok!!!  You are you!  And I know you don’t want to be big but it will take time.  It is going to be ok.  THis can be done.  You are in a place and now you are going to a place.  A new place.


Better than the runners HIGH!

Today was a fantastic run.  I am currently in this totally awesome course called MKMMA and this is part of why this run was so awesome today.  If you have never put your voice to music so you can listen to your vision in life while you run I highly recommend it.  So I was out there on the normal beaten path of the sidewalk I hit most days of the week, IMG_20141117_084159401when all of a sudden my ipod just came to life.  I even shed a tear about this.

It was a super cold brisk sunny day and I was intently listening to myself with some awesome background music tell myself how awesome my life was and how much I am and am going to accomplish.  The exertion of running, the cold air going into my lungs, the sound of my voice and the sun all came together and everything seemed so certain, so ok, so RIGHT! Now that is an awesome feeling that beats any runners high hands down.  My body felt great, my mind felt great, my heart felt great, and my emotions felt great.  Wish all of my runs felt this way but I have a hunch that more of them will be like this in the future.

The basics of todays run was 4 miles slower and easy with the last two miles headed home at a hard pushing pace.  Nothing was stopping me today.  So while I am on top of the mountain for now, I wanted to share with you that so much is possible for you, so much is in you, SO MUCH.  Even if you can’t see it or feel it, it is there.  Ask yourself the simple question: What do I really want my life to be? Then just sit there and think about it……when it comes to you……WRITE IT DOWN.  Then put it to some music if you can. Ask me how in the comments if your curious.  Peace out!


I gotta learn to tape my feet

I was talking to my coach today about a few blister spots that I get on the super long runs.  So I set out to search for a way to tape my feet as I have never done it before.  I found this and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to tape feet or endure the torture of ultra-running.