Fat guy with the "fat" mind

Fat guy with the "fat" mind

Since I was a young boy I was chunky.  I always felt bad about my weight, at least since elementary school.  I was never really, really big but I always was in my mind. When I reached high school I began to play more sports and started getting more fit.  This did not change the “fat” mind though.  Even when I weighed 179, had 12% body fat, could out-lift most of my football cohorts, and was the leanest of our teams linemen; I still felt fat.

So off to college I went.  Soon I was 215 lbs and thoroughly enjoying the universities famous cafeteria that was better than any buffet resturant that I had ever seen.  The weight kept packing on.  Not extremely fast, but it kept coming.  I graduated with my masters degree in marriage and family studies at a whopping 255 lbs.  At this time I had a girlfriend who is now my wife.  She loved me for who I was and did not really see the “fat” guy that I saw.  Love is blind I guess, eh!

We moved to my home state where I started to work in the family business.  The stress level went way up with this move and new life.  Work was different than the university life.  I started to medicate with food and alcohol.  The weight went to 280 lbs in about 6 months.  Then I turned to the Atkins diet, lost 40 lbs in a 3 months.  I was excited about this weight loss and felt pretty good about myself.  I got married at 240 lbs.  I loved my wedding pics.  I thought I looked great.  Of course the weight did not stay off.  I gained and lost that 4o lbs three more times before I joined weight watchers.

At my first weigh in at weight watchers I weighed 307.6 lbs.  I was shocked but not in disbelief.  I knew I had gotten huge.  I had quit drinking all together, but my food problems just kept growing and growing right along with my body.  The odd thing was that I was still thinking of my body and self the same way I did when I weighed 179 lbs fourteen years back.  I had unhealthy body image issues.

Weight watchers was the start of the next part of my journey.

If you would like more information regarding my weight loss journey or to recieve support with your own journey, subscribe HERE.

Part way to my goal.  I thought the "fat" mind was disappearing

Part way to my goal. I thought the "fat" mind was disappearing

So on December 13th, of 2006 I started on a life changing journey towards a goal that for my entire life felt was completely unattainable even though I had already been at that goal weight before.  I just never felt like I was there or maybe I just couldn’t remember.  My “fat” mind would not let me see it.

As with everything that I do, I went 100% all out on this weight watchers thing.  I never went over my points, not even one time for an entire year.  I was determined to make this time different.  The pounds were flying off.  People were going crazy over the difference that the weight loss made.  People at the gas station were talking about it and complimenting me, people at my meeting, my family, my co-workers, people from my past.  It felt great.  Week after week I had a loss.  In one year’s time I only had one week where I did not lose and that was a “stayed the same week”.  People were rooting for me and cheering me on.

I began running after losing 60 lbs.  I started out with 2 miles.  Guess what happened next, I went 100% all out.  I planned a year’s worth of running and scheduled 12 marathons to complete during that time.  I got addicted to the running.  I neglected other healthy things in my life to run more.  Running really took the weight off.  At times, I even lied about how much I was running because people just weren’t getting it.  They thought it was crazy.  I finished my first marathon in October 2007 at 195 lbs.  I kept running a marathon every month.  That ended up not being enough so I started to do ultra-marathons.  I did  a 30 miler, then a 37 miler, then a 41 miler, and finally I accomplished something very few people do or even want to do.  I finished a 50 mile trail run in about 11 1/2 hours.  

I was now weighing 173 lbs and loving it.  I was so fit and so proud, but my “fat” mind was taking over.  I still thought I was fat.  I still felt bad and guilty if I only ran 3 hours instead of 5 hours.  I ate what I wanted because I knew that I could just go out for a “long run” to make up for it.  Don’t get me wrong, all the running and healthy eating were great and good things in my life.  It was just the way I was thinking about them.  They were tools that helped me lose weight and not change the way my “fat” mind working.

I reached goal on Dec. 13th, 2007.  I lost 133 lbs in a year.  Could I keep it off?  Check out part three of my story.

 Here we are at the present time.  This pic was taken in Oct. 2008 at my 11th marathon.  I made it to goal weight, I just  about made it to 12 marathons in a year, and I have kept off the weight for one year as of Dec. 13th 2008.  Things are going well for me.  That doesn’t equate to not having issues still though.

I am working hard to keep off the weight, but I am working harder on “keeping out the fat guy mind”.  I still have, as Melissa at Tales of a Disordered Eater says, disordered eating habits.  I still find myself putting on the guilt for messing up just the smallest bit.  I find myself saying, “I can never have that food” or “I can’t go there because that is a bad environment” or asking my wife a hundred times a month “I’m fat, do I look like I have gained my weight back?”

I know that it might seem crazy, but that is the truth.  I see the picture here and think, “Man, I have come so far.”  I might go into our bathroom in the next hour, see myself in the mirror and think, “Man, I am not keeping it off.  I look pretty chunky”.

So the battle wages on.  This blog is here to inspire you and myself to get rid of the “fat” mind and get on with our lives of joy and health.  I am making great strides and I know you are too.  I’m learning balance in food, fitness, thinking, and life.  I will win the battle with the “fat” mind.  

The present journey is an inspiring one for me.  The weight loss and body changes have been amazing, but the changing of my perception of myself have been the most rewarding.  I will keep on keeping on.  I will move towards healthier patterns of life and eating.  Hopefully you all will join me.

Leave a comment.  I always love to know that there are others out there who have gone through, are going through, or are about to go through the same things as me.  Hang in there.  Anything is possible.  See you at the finish line.

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84 Responses to “My Journey: From obesity to now!”

  1. 1 lissa10279
    December 22, 2008 at 2:17 am

    Beautifully stated — all of it. And I’ve learned through blogging that it helps others to relate when we’re able to share the ups and downs of the journey we’re on. You’re doing amazing — keeping it off, and working on changing that perspective. My therapist calls it “reframing.” It helps so much!

  2. 2 somedayistoday
    December 22, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    Changing perception is the key to making it a permanent, second nature lifestyle! Glad to know you’re on that journey now. I’m an extremist and will make it to my goal but I hope I can change my perception of MY “fat” mind! When I get to the goal line of a healthy weight and lifestyle, I want so much of this to be second nature to me. I want to handle the stress differently, which is a large portion of what got me to my unhealthy weight. Losing weight is the easy part (not that there is anything easy about it) but compared to making it a lifestyle it is.

    Thanks for a great post!

    • 3 run4change
      December 22, 2008 at 9:14 pm

      Very well said. Extemism is tough to do for a lifetime. We will get it done though. Time and patience. Thanks for the comment.

  3. 4 enjoytheday
    December 22, 2008 at 11:36 pm

    Thanks for the honest post Jason. I struggle with feeling fat as well even though I’ve always been skinny. I think that for me, it is from our unhealthy culture that prizes stick-thin models. One thing I try to do is to enjoy the body that I have right now. I try to make good food choices, eat in moderation, and exercise regularly. But sometimes I mess up. I try to forgive myself and make my healthier decisions next time.

  4. 5 cecile
    December 23, 2008 at 8:48 am

    Your such an insparation to me and your family.
    I promise to get on the band wagon right after this muffin! KIDDING1 HAHA

  5. 7 lapizz04
    December 23, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    I found that to be a tough battle for my sister – once she reached her goal, she still has issues with the “fat” mindset. I see she’s not alone… Its a never ending quest, but one I’m confident you both can overcome 🙂

  6. 8 run4change
    December 23, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    Never ending is a good description. It’s a bummer, but a good description

  7. December 29, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Man, I so can relate to you. I have lost 50 lbs so far – another 35 or 40 to go, maybe 50. I’ve been feeling “fat” and like I’ve had no progress so far, and then my daughter tells me this morning that yesterday when I was walking back up to my house, I looked so “thin”. It’s crazy how our fat minds make us still feel fat. For some people 50 pounds is their entire goal – or more than their goal. Why do we discount and diminish all that we have done? I am so proud of myself, and you are inspiring me to keep going. Thank you!

    • 10 run4change
      December 29, 2008 at 10:55 am

      I think it is just an emotional road block (our fat mind) that we have to work at getting through. It takes time, but I am sure that the “fat mind” gets less powerful as time goes on if we work on it.

  8. December 30, 2008 at 5:38 am

    How inspirational! You look awesome, but more importantly, you look and sound proud of yourself and your accomplishments — and well-deservedly so!!

    I know what you mean about “fat-mind.” I biked to LA from San Francisco two years ago, and I *still* thought I was fat at that time (me on the left: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30130830&op=1&o=global&view=global&subj=707230631&id=1265016781). Now, I’ve put on 20 lbs since that photo because of some retaliatory “it doesn’t really matter” thinking that I’ve had for the past two years. But really, it matters to *me*. I’ve felt bad about myself and my appearance for a couple years and I’m ready to get back into the body image I think is attractive.

    • 12 run4change
      December 30, 2008 at 5:41 am

      You go for it. That is awesome. This journey that we are on, it is so wonderful to our emotions and minds. To feel better, think better, act better, and believe better. What a difference feeling good about how we look can make.

  9. December 31, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    Wait a minute, did you peek at my diary or what? I do the very same thing when I look at pics of myself and in the mirror. Some days I just feel “fat” again and other days I feel so thin and beautiful. You really do look great in this pic and the other pics I’ve seen on your blog, and your wife is just lovely! Ya’ll make a cute couple.

  10. 14 sarahlovesfood
    January 6, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Ya know, I was always afraid of talking to “in shape” looking people, especially men. Fat my whole life, I figured they all made fun of me, or looked down at me, or felt sorry for me. Part of my fat person mentality is definitely that all skinny people think negatively of me. I appreciate and applaude you for sharing your story. If I saw you on the street, I never would have thought you’ve gone on the journey that you have through your life. Now I know better. I’ve started Weight Watchers (online) again just a couple days ago, but I have confidence that I can succeed and one day get to a good weight and good health. Thank you again for your inspiration. Do you mind if I link to your blog? I always dreamed of being a runner, and you are proof that it CAN happen, even for me. I live in Washington, so maybe some day I’ll see you at a marathon! Thanks again, so much.

    • 15 run4change
      January 6, 2009 at 3:37 pm

      Oh my gosh. Thanks for this comment. I am going to do a post about this subject. I appreciate your honesty greatly. and you can run, maybe you can’t run far right now, but just running for 10 seconds is running. THen 20, 30 ,40, etc. You can do it, I believe in you. I am glad that you feel comfortable here and not judged. That is what run4change is all about. Similar people, different stages of the same journey, all running towards the changes that they so badly desire. Great work Sarah and I hope to see you more.

      Oh yeah, seeing you at a marathon would be great. If you do one, let me know and I will try and get there too.

  11. January 7, 2009 at 12:00 am

    Ooooh good for you! So happy for you. Thanks for sharing all of this. I just joined WW yesterday (Monday) – I, an my 12 year old son are off to a good start. I had been a member, long ago – – this time it will be different and who knows?!!! Maybe I will run too!!! Some day, that is!

  12. January 7, 2009 at 8:45 am

    Wow I just read the whole three part story and relate so much to you. I did not nearly lose as much weight as you, but I did it as you say by going 100% in to it. I became addicted to running, but I still have not stepped up to the Marathon level. I also still have that fat girl mindset. I look in the mirror and think I’ve gained it back or I avoid certain foods or resteraunts. I remain positive, even though that little fat girl will always be there

    • 19 run4change
      January 7, 2009 at 8:48 am

      Great comment. The fat mind stick around yes. We learn to deal with it better though. It is hard to believe the skinny mind sometimes

  13. January 7, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    wow! what a story — and an inspiration! i have just started my weight loss journey and am nervous that i will also have problems with the fat girl mindset. thank you for sharing! it definitely helps to know we’re not all alone.


    • 21 run4change
      January 7, 2009 at 5:39 pm

      The “fat mind” get small as time goes on, but it is a stubborn son of a gun. Not sure if it ever totally goes away though. Great job on getting to the starting ling. You will do great and achieve fantastic things if you just keep on putting one foot in front of the other and never give up. Thanks for coming by and leaving a very inspirational comment.

  14. 22 Kristen
    January 8, 2009 at 7:10 am

    I found your blog through Melissa’s, and I really look forward to reading about your journey. I had been overweight my entire life…had a few bouts with WW and always gained the weight back. My last run with WW I lost about 35 lbs (50 lbs lighter than my heaviest), and have kept it off for a little over a year, give or take a few lbs. However, when I hit goal and lifetime, in order to maintain, I resorted to my eating disorder that I had been battling with for as long a I can remember. I’m leaps and bounds ahead of where I was this time last year, and therapy has helped tremendously. I think one of the main things I’ve learned about myself and disordered eating/self-image issues, etc, is that the negative thoughts may never go away. The harder we try to make them disappear, the more often they return. But we can learn and use the tools to battle them effectively. As quickly as a negative thought comes into our head, it is possible that it can leave just as fast. I think the one thing harder than actually maintaining a healthy weight, is ACCEPTING the ups and downs that come with it. Once we learn to accept our minds and bodies and all the changes (I’m definitely still working on it!), we’ll be in a much better place. You really sound like you’re doing well for yourself – and others by having this blog. I now plan on jumping on the treadmill at the gym after work!

    • 23 run4change
      January 8, 2009 at 7:28 am

      Absoluetly fantastic comment. There is nothing more true than the fact that losing all the weigh and reaching goal does not “cure” everything. We still have the “fat mind”, we still have fears, and we still have emotions. Keep up the good work. We on this journey will grow together. That is my goal anyway. Thanks for coming by and posting a great comment that helps others.

  15. January 8, 2009 at 10:24 am

    I just read your three-part journey and I have to say I’m almost in tears. You’re really inspiring and I think that you’ve discovered what so many of us who are going through this journey discover. We’re fighting against our “fat minds”. So much of what I struggle with on a day-to-day basis is completely within my head and not on my table. Thanks for verbalizing that. Good luck on changing your mindset. I think it will be your biggest challenge yet. You’ve proven that you can handle a challenge though and I know you’ll do it.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

    • 25 run4change
      January 8, 2009 at 10:59 am

      Reading your comment almost got me to tears. I love heart felt and honest commentary. It blesses me and I appreciate you for that. Thanks for stopping by my blog and best of luck to you. Keep coming back, we love to love around here.

  16. 26 Angela
    January 8, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    Reading your story proves to me just how little I know. I have always assumed that men don’t think destructively like we women do. Not that I’m happy about your “thinking fat,” but it is refreshing to know that we are all human. Here’s my wacked mind though…when I was at my heaviest, I must have been in total denial because I would think “hmmm, I’m not that fat.” Well now that I’ve lost 70 pounds, seems like the only thing I do is tell myself how fat I am! It’s ridiculous! Thank you for encouraging all of us to move past that destructive thinking. I am overjoyed and inspired by your story. You and your sweet wife look so happy! You have every reason to be proud of yourself, you have done a wonderful thing here. Blessings!

    • 27 run4change
      January 8, 2009 at 1:16 pm

      I hope you get this reply Angela, becauses your comment came at an important time. I was just writing a post where I was ranting and raving about weight loss blogs not having heart. I was going to keep it private maybe because I was afraid that good people would get the idea I was talking about their blogs. I am not talking about blogs like yours or anybodies who are telling the truth in real life. I am just talking about blogs for acai berries, etc. and simple info. written only to drive internet traffic. Your comment brightened up the day a lot. That comment showed heart, it showed true and real life. I appreciate that and truly desire that for this blog. Keep up the good work and isn’t it amazing that you lost 70 lbs. That is just so many lbs.

  17. January 10, 2009 at 9:41 am

    I found your site through a comment you left on someones blog. As someone that has lost weight myself (120lbs and unforunately have gone up a bit and now at about 85 lbs down in the past 5 years)
    Your honest and truthful story is mine, even though I am 6 sizes smaller than I was I still see the ‘fat girl’. A bit over a year ago, my husband was transferred, and I left my running/fitness group, friends home etc.. we lived in temporary housing for a few months, with no kitchen and no gym membership. My weight creeped up, but now I feel that there is no excuse anymore. I physically didn’t leave myself behind, but looking back I did at least leave my emotional self behind…
    Thank you for sharing your journey so publically. Congrats on finishing so many races… your dedication is inspiring!

    • 29 run4change
      January 10, 2009 at 9:44 am

      Thanks a lot Carrie and keep up the good work. You will get back down to where you want to be in no time. In the time until then, stay up and when you fall just start walking again.. Keep on keeping on. Great job.

  18. 30 Annie
    January 11, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    Very inspiring! I’m aiming a little smaller, just 30 lb., but am also going the Weight Watchers/running route, and it’s reassuring to actually see someone it’s worked so successfully for. I am struggling right now to get to the point where I can say I “love” to run… it’s just a constant uphill battle to get out there and do it! But always satisfying once it’s done. Congratulations not only on the amazing weight loss, but especially on the positive and lasting life changes!

  19. January 13, 2009 at 11:01 am

    My daughter Carrie, who has lost a significant amount of weight, suggested to me to take a look at your posts. You have done incredible and look awesome. I am sure that many folks have benefited from your sharing and your honesty.

    GREAT JOB!!!!

  20. January 14, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    I just found your blog today and I am still in shock! You are nothing short of AMAZING! What an inspiration you have become. I loved reading your story-it could be a movie! I started weight loss blogging in December and think it is an amazing tool.I hope to work my butt off to success. I will be tuned in to your blog everyday now!

    • 34 run4change
      January 14, 2009 at 1:22 pm

      Keep on coming back. There are so many great and encouraging readers here. The community is very inspiring. Thanks for your contribution to that. I appreciate that you came by and commented. Thanks a lot and see you later.

  21. January 15, 2009 at 9:43 am

    This really strikes a chord with me. Even at my skinniest I still felt fat. I think there was only one time that I looked in the mirror and thought “Wow, I’m actually skinny!” And that was when my hip bones were protruding because I had nothing left thanks to celiac disease.

    And it’s funny because people actually tell me I look much better now (they ask if I’ve lost weight…) than I did then, but it doesn’t matter to me, and I still feel like a fat slob.

    • 36 run4change
      January 15, 2009 at 9:49 am

      Gosh I sure know how you feel. My lattest post talks about it. Even last night I struggled so much with feelig fat and thinking I looked like I had a huge gross stomach. Keep up the great work and thank you for your contribution to run4change.

  22. 37 the Zookeeper
    January 15, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Thanks for the honesty, Jason. You’re right, some days I’m not sure if I’m running because I love the running, or to run away from the fat girl. And there are days that I snap my size 0 jeans and still think, wait, I’m fat, just because the scale says I went up 3 pounds. Fat thinking.

    But I know I can have freedom from this kind of thinking. I already do–I just have to claim it and live it. I’m not a slave to my jean size, or even my running shoes. I didn’t lose the weight to keep dragging it around behind me!

    Thanks again for having the courage to “say” out loud what so many of us live with every day.

    • 38 run4change
      January 15, 2009 at 10:38 am

      Your welcome. I am glad that my posts can help others. That is the whole purpose and of course they help me a lot. Especially comments like yours. That encourages me a lot. Thanks again

  23. January 15, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    I just found your website through the WW boards. Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve lost about 60 pounds, and this is my second time on WW, after having gained about 20 pounds back. I know what you mean about the Fat Mindset. I feel that it is the most important thing to overcome, and it’s interesting to read someone else’s thoughts on it. Good luck to you and everyone else. I’ll be reading your blog more.

    • 40 run4change
      January 15, 2009 at 2:49 pm

      Thank you for your encouragement. It is important to me. I am glad you found us over here at this little blog. Keep up the good work bonnie.

  24. January 16, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Wow! I LOVE your site. You’ve made an amazing transformation. Thank you for your truly inspirational take on weight loss. If it’s okay, I’d like to add you to my blogroll.

    I’m a lifetime member of Weight Watchers after losing about 70lbs from March 2006 to August 2007. I can really relate to the things you’ve said about disordered eating. I constantly fight the urge to exercise obsessively when I eat a bit too much and feel stuffed. No matter what anyone says, I still see the fat girl when I look in the mirror. I’ve accomplished the physical transformation. Now I’m working extremely hard to change my state of mind regarding my body.

    • 42 run4change
      January 16, 2009 at 1:36 pm

      Good job Katie. It is hard work and the emotional/mental side is the toughest I would say. Keep up the good work and adding me to your blog roll would a great honor. Thank you and I appreciate your visit and comment.

  25. January 16, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    You are truly an inspiration. I am reading everything you have written and I can relate to you so much! I look forward to following your blog, I am adding you to my blogroll and to my google reader! You rock!

    • 44 run4change
      January 16, 2009 at 2:10 pm

      Muchas gracias. You rock too Beadie. Thanks for your encouragement and I look forward to have conversations with you through the blog and reading you comments. Thanks for coming by. Your comments will really add to the supportive atmoshpere here.

  26. January 16, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    I found this via the WW Newbie Board. You have done an amazing job!

    I totally understand what you are saying about self-image. I struggle with the same.
    I get on the scale and see the weight has come off. Then I look in the mirror … and it’s back.

    It is a struggle.

    • 46 run4change
      January 16, 2009 at 6:11 pm

      linda, you said that so perfectly. “I get on the scale and see the weight has come off. Then I look in the mirror … and it’s back.” That is how it is. Thanks for coming over and ecouraging us. come back ok

  27. January 16, 2009 at 8:19 pm


    Your story is awesome. I have lost 163 pounds and I believe that I have that mentality at times. I have really tried to get away from that but it can be difficult. It is noce to know others feel the same way.

  28. 48 run4change
    January 16, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    Hi Debra,

    From what I can see, you and me are not the only ones. There are countless others who are this journey with us that feel this same way. We can learn from each one of their stories. It is amazing what you did. I am proud of you for losing that weight. Great job and thanks for you inspiration and contribution to run4change.

  29. January 19, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Chronicling your journeys so honestly is amazing! What a great gift you are giving to all of the people out there dealing with body image problems and with weight loss problems. I’m finally coming to the realization that the worst thing I can do is over-quantify my weight loss plan. I do check out and count calories and log fitness minutes, but if I let myself, I can go a little OCD on the plan. And then, when the plan falls apart for some reason, I give up all together and eat an entire pizza, washed down with a six pack of beer. Thank you again for sharing your stories and for showing us all that change on the outside doesn’t mean that there is some “automatic” change on the inside – you have to work for that too!!

    • 50 run4change
      January 19, 2009 at 2:59 pm

      So right. Even when the house is painted; it still may need a new kitchen, bathroom, painting, etc. Gotta get the part you live in fixed up too. Thanks for the encouragement and your own honesty

  30. January 20, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    I love your story! I can relate with the “Fat Mind” also, I am dealing with the “Inevitable Eater” at this point in time though. The one who tells you you will eat it eventually so you might as well do it now and get it over with. She is getting a little quieter with the more success I have at ignoring her. I am in TOPS, there is no WW here. I have lost 105 pounds now and am able to exercise more. A bad back and knee still bother me but way less than when I started. Reading your posts puts fire under my feet! Keep up the writing.

  31. 52 run4change
    January 20, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Thanks Toni. sounds like you are doing awesome. Great job. I am glad that you got some fire here.

  32. February 2, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Your story is amazing! I admire your honesty. Thank for you sharing!

    I also was heavy in my younger years. I was never a runner in school and I hated PE. Although I thinned out during my adult years, I still battled with my weight. Then, I gained an incredible amount of weight with my two pregnancies which took me two years to loose with both pregnancies.

    About 2 years ago, I began running and was amazed how the weight just melted off. Now, I am thinner then BEFORE I got pregnant with my first daughter. I am completely addicted to running. I finished my first marathon (the Goofy Challenge) last month and I am training for my second marathon at the end of February, the Mic Ultra Challenge at the Gasparilla Distance Classic.

    On a side note, there is a history of eating disorders in my family. I ate for comfort, but my sister battled bulimia. It took me years to believe I was beautiful at any weight and when I became thin, I learned to recognize that thin person in the mirror. I NEVER talk about dieting in front of my girls because I don’t want them relive my childhood experiences. I encourage them to eat healthy and make healthy choices. We also try to get outside and be active as a family.

    • 54 run4change
      February 2, 2009 at 2:36 pm

      Thanks Run DMT. Your comment is a wonderful contribution to the blog. I appreciate YOUR honesty as well. I hope you come back to contribute more. You have much to offer. I also appreciate your love for your children and the care you take of their own body images. Thanks again

  33. February 8, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    Man, do I ever understand your journey. I lost about 80 lbs several years ago and have kept most of it off. As I lost the weight, I got into running. Moved up from 10K to Marathon, and then triathlon. I was totally guilty of not changing my eating habits and instead making up for it with long runs. I’m finally working on changing my nutrition and eating, and have gone back to basebuilding for my running. I understand the love of endurance events and I want to continue doing them with a healthier fueling mindset.

    Congratulations on your success and I look forward to following along!

    • 56 run4change
      February 8, 2009 at 7:05 pm

      Sarah. I loved your comment. What a great story and as you know I identify with it a lot. That is what it is all about, being able to share and relate. Glad you are working on being a healthier eater. It is hard though isn’t it. I just burned 3600 calories. Why should I care about what I eat. I did care though and I did pretty good during my refueling after the race. No perfect though:)

  34. 57 Emily
    February 16, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    thanks for sharing! this really helps me keep motivated. I have been on WW for 6 weeks now, and I really like how you articulated my thoughts perfectly- getting out of that fat state of mind.

    • 58 run4change
      February 16, 2009 at 4:16 pm

      That “state of mind” haunts a lot of us. Stick around here and you will find that you are most certainly not alone with the fat mind. THanks a lot for your encouragement and for visiting my blog

  35. March 17, 2009 at 8:56 am

    Wow! Start taking care of the “issues,” because you never know when you’ll have to take a break from running. Learn to enjoy life, not fight it.

    • 60 run4change
      March 17, 2009 at 9:05 am

      Batya- Running or know running, I am going to keep the weight off. I have and do work on issues constantly to improve myself gradually. Your comment is very interesting. Just something about it….

  36. 61 Karl
    March 18, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    Hey Run4Change

    My names Karl and im 17 and weigh about 170 pounds. And i to suffer from that “Fat man mentality”. But i just wanted to just tell you how motivating your story was and that im glad to know im not the only one who suffers from some of those “Interdemons of weightloss”. Ive recently really gotten into running and hope to soon compete in some marathons. However i wanted to ask you if you have any training tips on them? Or if you had any good advice on how to run them? Again thankyou soo much for you amazing story and i cant wait to recommend this blog to my friends

    Sincewrely karl =)

    • 62 run4change
      March 19, 2009 at 4:33 am

      Karl. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am glad that you find it inspirational and helpful. Marathons are a wonderful and inspiring distance. Just remember that you don’t have to run a marathon to be a “real” runner. Most runners in fact never do one. Tips eh? Well, always make sure that you recovery properly with rest. Hard day/easy day rule is very important to follow. If you don’t recover well, you won’t improve well. Also, long runs are the staple of marathon training. If you have a time goal in mind then running miles at projected race pace is important too. Let me know if you have anymore questions

  37. March 27, 2009 at 11:51 am

    Hello. I find your story absolutely amazing. I was overweight in high school, and I’ve been dealing with wierd weight changes ever sense then. At one point, I went from 196 to 164 back up to 180 down to 150 and now I’m settling back at 185. I’ve starting a blog in hopes it’ll motivate me into a healthier lifestyle. It seems to have worked out very well for you! And all your running amazes me! Most of my friends are regluar joggers. I prefer a bike 🙂

    • 64 run4change
      March 27, 2009 at 12:09 pm

      Thanks for stopping by smalltown. I love to get new visitors. I appreciate your encouragement very much. HAve a great day

  38. 65 Ryan
    June 9, 2009 at 10:46 am

    Thanks for you story. I know what you mean about the “fat mind”. I stopped going to Weight Watchers in 2003 20lbs short of my goal. Needless to say, I gained it all back and then some. It was a very difficult lesson but one that I need to learn. This is a life time struggle!

  39. 66 Mimi
    June 14, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    Just dropping in from a tangentially related Google search, but I wanted to say your blog and story are very uplifting and inspiring. Congratulations on the incredible progress you’ve made, you (and your gorgeous wife) look fabulous, fit and happy. Moreover, congratulations on taking such a holistic approach to attaining your goal and changing your life, and sticking to it. I wish you all the best.

  40. 67 geegs23
    June 18, 2009 at 6:25 am

    WOW – such a great and inspiring post and thank you for sharing! I’m new here, found your blog today. Congratulations on your weight loss! Also congratulations on running 12 marathons, that’s awesome!!


  41. 69 KSteed
    July 22, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Just come accross your blog. Very Inspiring. I also have taken the Weight Watcher Journey over the past year and a half, losing 75 lbs. I’m currently stuck (for the past 7 months) and can’t seem to loose anymore. I need to loose another 30 lbs. Can you offer any tips to get me kicked into gear, or out of this plateau?

    I’m enjoying your blog.

    Best wishes

  42. 71 J_Lew
    August 2, 2009 at 12:55 am

    It’s hard for me to read all this and see your transformation.It’s like looking at what I could have achieved if I’d had the strength to commit myself to all those past diets. I was a lean 176lb lineman in high school. I always ate too much but sports kept it off. After school I started the slow growth. I topped out at 306 this year, at the age of 30. We even look a little bit alike. I’ve been trying this year but my results aren’t what I’d hoped. I hit 270, then back up to 285, then basically starved myself for 4 days in a panic and hit 274. It’s so hard sometimes. Anyways I’m going to try weight watchers, and I’m going to come here often for inspiration. I want to say thank you. It was amazing to make the changes you did, but it’s more amazing that you stop and look back and lend a hand to those of us who need it.

    • 72 run4change
      August 3, 2009 at 5:31 am

      I totally understand Jlew. getting to the starting line is not easy but if you can just get there you have won a huge battle.

  43. September 30, 2009 at 7:47 am

    SO AWESOME! I loved seeing your pictures and reading your story! You are so inspiring and so awesome!!! way to go!! you look so great but more importantly you feel great! good for yoU!!

  44. October 27, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Hey man! Amazing story! I was in similar shape… 316lbs in January of 2008. Currently at 240ish and training for my first marathon! I found your blog about “back of the packers” and had to check out more. I am going to link to your blog through my blog if you don’t mind! Great work! You are an inspiration!


  45. November 4, 2009 at 8:02 am

    Man! What a great story. Inspiration for me and my clients who want to lose weight in Baltimore.

    Thanks for sharing.


  46. December 13, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Wow, what a great blog; wonderful inspiration. I really needed this right now, today.

  47. December 14, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    Wow…this could be a page on my blog. I lost 40 pounds on WW, started running and now do half marathons and triathlons. I’m so much healthier — but the fat girl is always there! I’ve been lifetime since 2007 and am technically over my goal weight, but I know that my body is where it should be. Tough to step on the scale, even though my brain is telling me I’m nuts!

    • May 19, 2010 at 12:11 pm

      Thank you for sharing your story and blogging about the issues that continue to plague you. Like you, and so many of your commenters here, I lost 50lbs on Weight Watchers and have been struggling to see myself as anything other than a fat girl. That fat identity really captures our thinking and doesn’t let go. Good for you for working around the addictive mentality.

      As for marathons and 50 milers… holy cow, that’s impressive!

    • 81 run4change
      May 19, 2010 at 12:37 pm

      Thanks much Karen.. I am appreciative of your encouragement. You will do fine just never give up and keep on keeping on.

  48. May 25, 2010 at 5:52 am

    Wow, you look amazing and have such a positive perspective on life. Keep on believing that you can change on the inside just like you did on the outside! You deserve to have those match and to live the life you have dreamed of!

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