Over the last several months I have not done a whole lot of being consistant. I have had a very hard time getting my life back together enough so that I can once again stick to a “normal” schedule of daily operations. At least this is what I have thought……………………….but I have had a stroke of insight today. I have not been doing ALL BAD! So I will look on the bright side of things. I have developed and implemented a new system at my work place that will change it forever and for the better. I have followed my dreams of training for, and finally attempting to run 100 miles. I have continued to eat ok enough not to gain ALL my weight back. I have held it together in many ways but it still does not take away the fact that it has been really really hard. And the hard stuff is not over yet either. Sometimes I feel it is only getting harder. But one thing I know for sure is that I have been running through it all. It is the constant (other than God) that stands firmly in place. Well, not always firmly but I have not let go of it. I have cut back, gone hard, eased off, etc. etc. But I have not turned my back on running. I have pretty much stayed with at least two days a week of running. My come back races were 32 and 41 miles.
This tiny piece of consistancy, with which coach dean has helped tremendously, has helped me piece things together. It has helped me have a foundation to build off of again. I am back to exercising with cross-training. I am excited once again about my running goals. I am looking forward to doing more running in the very near future and Coach Dean will help me attain physically what I want to attain emotionally as a way for me to set a foundation for all that is to come. I have to start somewhere. Heck, I have already started long ago, but I have finally realized I cannot do this all at once. I cannot go at this with an all or nothing approach like I normally can. i just don’t have the mental nor emotional energy to do so. So it will go step by step but I will keep on keeping on. I will run, I will eat, I will workout, I will talk things out with people I trust, I will remember my blessings and……………………………………..things will become what I desire them to be. I have learned a lot about being patient with myself and that has been hard. But I am glad I have learned it. VERY GLAD.