Running through it

Over the last several months I have not done a whole lot of being consistant.  I have had a very hard time getting my life back together enough so that I can once again stick to a “normal” schedule of daily operations.  At least this is what I have thought……………………….but I have had a stroke of insight today.  I have not been doing ALL BAD!  So I will look on the bright side of things.  I have developed and implemented a new system at my work place that will change it forever and for the better.  I have followed my dreams of training for, and finally attempting to run 100 miles.  I have continued to eat ok enough not to gain ALL my weight back.  I have held it together in many ways but it still does not take away the fact that it has been really really hard.  And the hard stuff is not over yet either.  Sometimes I feel it is only getting harder.  But one thing I know for sure is that I have been running through it all.  It is the constant (other than God) that stands firmly in place.  Well, not always firmly but I have not let go of it.  I have cut back, gone hard, eased off, etc. etc.  But I have not turned my back on running.  I have pretty much stayed with at least two days a week of running.  My come back races were 32 and 41 miles. 

This tiny piece of consistancy, with which coach dean has helped tremendously, has helped me piece things together.  It has helped me have a foundation to build off of again.  I am back to exercising with cross-training.  I am excited once again about my running goals.  I am looking forward to doing more running in the very near future and Coach Dean will help me attain physically what I want to attain emotionally as a way for me to set a foundation for all that is to come.  I have to start somewhere.  Heck, I have already started long ago, but I have finally realized I cannot do this all at once.  I cannot go at this with an all or nothing approach like I normally can.  i just don’t have the mental nor emotional energy to do so.  So it will go step by step but I will keep on keeping on.  I will run, I will eat, I will workout, I will talk things out with people I trust, I will remember my blessings and……………………………………..things will become what I desire them to be.  I have learned a lot about being patient with myself and that has been hard.  But I am glad I have learned it.  VERY GLAD.

Biggest Loser Finale. The good, the bad, and the sad.

Ohhhhhh Boy!!!!  This wild and crazy season of biggest loser is officially over.  I really enjoyed this season although the finale was anti-climatic for more.  I was not quite moved as I have been in the past.  I am not sure why that is exactly but it is what it is.  There were many things that I loved about the finale though and many things that I very much didn’t like.  I am sure that many of the things I did not like you also did not like.  So here is my review of the outcome of 6 months of hard work by the contestants.

 

THE GOOD

There were multiple things that were good!  How about Mike.  HAHAHA  He looked like a movie star basically.  Very handsome, more humble, and as genuine as ever.  He just looked great and he glowed with joy about his new life.  It was great to see it.  I was also extremely happy with the results that Jerry and Kristenhad achieved while at home.  I did not care for Kristen’s hair cut much and I had a tiny suspicion that Jerry had been drinking before coming onto the finale, but boy did they do fantastic.  Their transformed bodies proved that it can be done.  Jerry not only changed dramatically on the outside but inside too. What new and vigorous confidence he had.

Tara is back in model form and she displayed much gratitude for her transformation.  Demonstrating that she is a winner at heart, she blamed much of her success on those who helped her.  That is truly a winner’s attitude.  I was also so happy to see that Danielactually kept at it.  He rate of loss was not what it could have been but it was phenomenal to say the least.  He stuck with it and I think he we keep sticking with it.

THE BAD

I think we all know what the bad is.  At least the major bad. HAHAHA  The only mom on earth that would vote her own daughter off the show only to leave her in the dust and embarrassment of not doing that great at home.  The mom who could not stop talking about herself and manipulated craftily throughout the season.  The mom whose tears were only regarding her own success rather than her daughter’s or others.  That’s right, Helenwon the grand prize of being the biggest loser.  I did not like this outcome much.  She did drastically cut the weight.  She was a bit too skinny looking but I am sure she will even out as far as her weight.  It is a given that the contestants dehydrate themselves the best they can prior to the finale weigh-in and Helen was a supreme case for this.  She was very dehydrated but it got her $250,000 dollars.  I could just see the sadness in her daugther’s face while she pleaded with us to believe that what they chose was the best thing for both of them.  Hog fooey and donkey dung.

THE SAD

I got sad for a few of the contestants.  I was sad for the two African American ladies who I cannot recall their names at the moment.  I really thought that the one would do great at home.  I was also sad for Daniels partner who seemed embarrassed by the fact that he really never cared about losing weight in the first place.  Finally, as you already know, I was sad about Helen’s daughter not having a great loss.

CONCLUSION

Now don’t get me wrong, every contestant did great.  Even those who appeared not to lose much weight lost enough weight to make most of us believe that we can lose the pounds at a healthy rate while living out our normal lives.  Even the ones that made me sad lost weight like normal people.  I just think that if I had to go on TV in front of every in six months that I could make sure I lost weight like a crazy man just to avoid the fear and embarrassment that would  be there if I did not do that great.

All in all it was a great season and I was proud of each of them for starting out on the life long journey of health.

Big change (of opinion) on the biggest loser

Wow! Wow! Wow!  I have had a huge change of heart regarding the contestants on the biggest loser.  I have had a complete change of who I wanted to win the show.  First, let me quickly recap on last weeks show since I have not been on the blog to much lately.

Last week my favorite got voted off and for good reason: KRISTEN WAS A BIG THREAT!  Last weeks show was also were my shift in contestant favorites began to happen.  It all started with Mike’s comments during the vote.  A new “cockyness” came out of him that I don’t recall seeing before.  He said that he had it in the bag to win the show.  That did it for me.  I no longer wanted Mike to win. I did not like this attitude but I will admit that this is the attitude that it takes to win.  It is just not the attitude that you blurt out for all others to hear.  I believe that he is young and just doesn’t really get that little social rule that you don’t bring others down in order to bring yourself up.  It is great that he believes that he will take it all home and he probably will, but he didn’t have to display this for all to see.  Mike lost my vote that night.  His dad, as you have all warned me, is a sneaker sucker and I don’t know how I missed that for the whole season.  I did not agree with any of you until last weeks show.  At the same time he is being the best dad he can be by trying to help his son get to the top.  What parent wouldn’t want the best for their child.  HAHAHA  Well, I guess Helen is one of those parents who didn’t want the best for her child. I mean hell, she voted off her own kid under the deceptive mask of “she can do it at home”!!!  So last week I shifted to Philipe as my favorite and Tara actually started to grow on me a little.  Can you believe it????????????

This week was wonderful to see the external and internal rewards of exercise and diet.  I was so happy for Ron’s victory in the medicine department even if he is a master mind manipulator as far as game play goes.  Tara displayed once again that she is a mighty warrior as a competitor as she “pulled her weight” to victory at the final challenge.  Boy, the true colors are really coming out.  What are people there for.  It appeared to me that Philipe was the only contestant who still had the “right reason” mind set intact.  I loved him for this.  After all the game play, all the weight lost, all the trials; he still maintained the focus that he started with.  He accomplished what he set out to do: Change his life and the lives around him.  He had all the contestants in tears as they were humbled by his glorious humility and heart.  They wished that they were there for the right reasons too I believe.  I don’t blame them though, I would be playing the game to so that is just another reason why I really liked what Philipe had to say.  He is a good man.

So now who do I want to win????????  Believe it or not, as I have to choose between three people who even have a chance to win (Ron has no chance of to win the show and would throw it for the sake of his son even if he had the chance), I want Tara to win now.  I just don’t want Mike to win anymore.  I like to see the “COCKY” people go down and the humble rise up.  Although Tara nor Helen are all that humble, I think Tara has made great strides in realizing the life change possible by what she is doing.

In the end however, I think Mike will take the prize and I only hope that his perspective can change.  Right now his motives are all mixed up.

Weigh-in results and last night’s biggest loser

100 lbs of fat Image credit: mypetfat.typepad.com

One hundred and twenty four pounds.  That is my weight loss since I started weight watchers.  I gained 3 pounds since my last meeting two weeks ago.  I was hoping to not gain more than 3 pounds so I hit exactly where I thought I would on the scale.  Of course I hate to gain but when I am in maintenance I have to gain because you just never stay the same every week.  Still don’t like it though.  The meeting was about points values for certain things and what we can have that would be more filling.  Pretty good meeting overall.  I did not feel too guilty about the gain. 

As usual, I went to my sisters to watch the biggest loser.  I was disappointed in the make-over episode.  Usually it is very awesome and emotional but this time it just didn’t touch me like normal.  They did look wonderful.  Tara is going to be a skinny Minni at the finale.  I liked Ron without the beard.  I got all paranoid about hurting my leg bones after watching how Laura hurt her hip.  I got afraid that I would mess myself up running these ultra-marathons but I guess if I do I will just have to stop doing them.  As for now I will just train properly and wisely to ensure a reduction in injury risk. 

I stand firm on who I like still.  I want Kristen or Mike to win it. 

Come back later to read my post on my struggle and issue regarding my goal weight.  I need your advice I just don’t have time to do the post right now.  It will be up around 1 am pacific time.

Winning the biggest loser. How does one pull it off?

The biggest loser is more dramatic as far as game play goes than I have ever seen it.  I was either totally enmeshed in the emotion of the contestants losing weight in previous seasons that I did not notice the game play or this season is over the top on this aspect.  It is highly interesting to me being a psychology graduate to see people evolve and show their true colors as the pressure builds.  I still have to say that I totally love Kristen because she seems to have the best strategy in mind:  LOSE WEIGHT AND STAY ABOVE THE YELLOW LINE.  Maybe she has deceived me into thinking this but it appears that her attitude is right one.

Wow!!  That is all I have to say about Ron and the cousins.  What a firey battle they were in over the week.  And although I just don’t like Tara, she STILL is proving to be the contestant with the most “fight” in her.  It is great to watch her determination.  I did have to laugh though when Tara’s partner was so wanting to have the power  but when the power came she was just not able to handle it because she seemed to forget that with authority and power comes a lot of responsiblity.  You call the shots, you get the blame. HAHAHA 

I am interested to see how it all works out.  What do you all think?

Biggest loser talk. Focus now, Focus!

I watched Tuesday’s episode of the biggest loser last night.  The show is heading towards a serious “game play” show now more than ever.  I don’t like that part of the show.  I am tired of it and I wish that they could all just focus on the health and weight loss.  Staying above the yellow line is the best way to stay in the game regardless of alliances or bonds.  I guess it makes for good ratings and all but I am a little tired of it.

I am still hoping that Mike and Kristen will be in the top group that makes it to the finals.  The blonde haired mom is also getting more on my nerves now than ever.  She is a sneaky one I think and the dad of mike seems to be a bit more sneaky than I had originally thought.  Wow.  What turns and changes happen when competition is involved.

Weigh-in results and Biggest loser talk. Biggest loser top pics.

Bwaaaaa hahahahaha!!  OOOHh oh hohoh heheheheh!  I can’t believe it.  I stayed exactly the same.  184.4 pounds on the WW scale.  What a freakin relief.  Although I was ready for any type of result, I was so happy to see that no gain had occurred over this last two weeks of weight watchers mania.  Since last Tuesday, I have been very very naughty.  I did great for 4 days and did horribly for 3 days.  That usually does not add up to a good weigh-in. 

Last Tuesday my fat mind went on auto-pilot and I ate 4 donuts, 3 peperoni’s, and a bag of chips before dinner.  I skipped my meeting on that day.  Bad idea I guess.  So I got back on track but had to go to Sunriver, Oregon for my mom’s B-day over the weekend.  My stupid WW points calculator broke down and went kuput!!  I just gave up on counting points for the rest of the weekend.  I went skiing.  At the lodge I ate the “NACHOS GRANDE” and it probably weighed like 3 pounds.  It was huuuuuge.  I almost finished it all.  I got home from skiing and ran my booty off with a full stomach for 7.5 miles or so.  Then I ate dinner and topped it off with large amounts of chips, cookies and strawberry shortcake.  Now you can see why I feel that this is a miracle of God to stay the same.  I did good on Monday and Tuesday without my points calculator.  I just did core for those two days.  Not proud of my giving up.  I guess my running save me by the skin of my chinny chin chin.  At my meetings I bought a new points calculator and a points clicker.  I am back running smooth on program now.  Feels good to be home because on program now feels like home to me. 

BIGGEST LOSER TALK TIME

Last night’s show was somewhat unemotional for me.  Just was not moved by it like I normally am.  I think it is Tara.  Although she is a fighter and a woman of strength, I just can’t stand her attitude sometimes.  She is so competitive that she tends to talk bad about other contestants and she has no respect for her teammate.  This disappoints me and I was upset that she won the challenge.  I just didn’t want the mean person to win and she is the mean person on the show right now in my opinion.  Everyone on the show is really starting to show results now.  It is funny how at some point in the show they just tend to have a vastly different physical appearance.  It all happens at once it seems like.

As far as who got voted off, I think I would have voted Philpe off.  I love that dude too but he is more of a threat but it appears that he has some “issues” at home that we don’t know about considering what his cousin said while he was begging to keep him on the ranch.  Aubrey has her work cut out for her to be sure but she will make it to her goal regardless.

Who do I want to win the show?

I have two favorites on the show.  I would love either of them to win.  They are Kristen (the girl who has now lost 105 lbs) and Mike.  These two display the utmost courage and compassion.  They seem to have their hearts in the right place and that is why I want them to win.

Who do you guys want to see win?

Ambivalent weigh-in coming right up

Most of you know that my wiegh-in is on Tuesday.  Yup, that is today.  Last week I skipped my WI. The week before I lost 1 pound I think.   So now I have two weeks worth of exercise and eating to show for.  To be honest, I don’t even care what happens.  I also know however, that if I lose I will be happy and if I gain I will be upset.  This is how it goes and it won’t ever change.  I like to lose and I hate to gain.  So tonight I am just going to show up and take it right in the face.  I don’t fear it.  I don’t worry about it.  I am not going to have stress added upon stress about seeing the weight.  What the heck anyway, it is just a point in the journey.  It is not the journey itself, just a small plot on the map amidst about 116 other plots.

I will post how things go EN LA MANANA.  As usual, I will be going to my sisters house afterwards for dinner and the biggest loser.  By the way, I never talked about the show last week.  It was a good show and it disclosed the secret that people of ALL sizes can run and reap the benifits of attaining new distances.  They did a half-marathon in their own various times, but they all finish.  Well, except the dad, he did not finish due to medical problems with his knee I think.  Other than that, they all pushed through the pain of running into the glorious light that appears at each finish line.  That light that I hope all of us can experience.

Another biggest loser episode and my weigh-in results

Well, well, well; today is a new day isn’t it.  Today I move on with the rest of my life.  I am going to be healthy today.  As you all know, I had my weight watchers weigh-in last night.  The meeting was great and we talked about being active and had a good old time laughing it up.  It really is a fun meeting to go to.  After looking over my stats for the week you all voted on whether I would lose weight or not.  You can see the pole here.  You can also see the results from previous weigh-ins here, here, and here. 

I lost exactly 1 pound this week.  I went from 185.4 to 184.4.  I was relieved and happy to see a loss.  It just goes to show me that how I feel does not necessarily accurately determine what my weigh-in results will be.  I have felt nice and thin and empty, but then gained.  And like last night, I felt bloated and fat but I lost.  Go figure eh?  So there you have it.

To stay in the loop on my weigh-in results and the biggest loser show, subscribe to my blog here.

The biggest loser last night was interesting to say the least.  With my new perspective of the show after the Bane of Dane has changed how I watch it.  I seem to see areas where they script it and it is not real.  Like when the cousins yelled at Jillian and then went to the gym alone.  OMG, Bob just happened to be standing in the gym by himself.  Now why would that be.  His blue team wasn’t there, he was in regular like clothes.  I don’t trust the show like I did before the marathon scandal.  I still love it though.  I was sorely disappointed that the blue team lost the weigh-in.  I am really tired of the boastful attitude of the black team when they win challenges.  There is just no need for that kind of celebration in front of the losing team.  There is no honor in that.  Also I did not like how the Philippe made the excuse for not losing much weight on Jillian.  He has been there for some time now and I don’t think he can make the excuse that he does not know what he needs to do to lose weight.  He also didn’t blame one thing on himself in regards to eating and drinking on their night of luxury.  It was a good show and I will be back next week for more.

Ya’ll have a great day now ya hear.  I’m fixin to get back to work. (For all Texas people. HHAHAHAHAA)

The Bane of Dane: Biggest loser, Marathoning, and History

OK, I am sure that most of you have heard that Dane on the biggest loser did/didn’t finish a marathon.  I cannot for the life of me find the blog that I first learned it from.  This blog actually had pics of the scandal because she was there running the marathon herself.

Anyway, I got an email today from a person who was pretty bothered by this scandal.  I can certainly understand why.  Finishing a marathon is a really big deal.  Although I generally feel that everyone can do it, not everyone wants to or wants to put out the mental effort to finish one.  My first thoughts while watching that part of the show were, “Woah!!  That dude is big and to get a sub 4hr time is serious running.”  I was happy for him of course but inside I just thought that it might be to good to be true.  Now I have been to some larger marathons and there are people of ALL shapes and sizes participating so don’t get me wrong.  Bigger people can run like crazy.  I just doubted the “Dane finish” from the start.  Here is a link to the actual results for the race that Dane was in.  He is not in the results because he was disqualified after several runners told on him.

Weight watchers weigh-in results, biggest loser, and I’m doing fine.

So last night I weighed-in.  I just stepped on that scale with bravery and courage.  But when I saw a 2.2 lb gain my heart sunk a little.  I figured I would gain and I knew that there was a possibility of gaining back the three pounds that I had lost, but I was still in denial.  Now I don’t think that I actually gained 2 pounds of fat but nevertheless, I gained.  I took it pretty hard for about 10 minutes until my WW leader started the meeting and made me laugh.  Then I popped out of my little funk and said, “Oh well, it is what it is.  There is no changing that number right now so I will move on with my life.  I know what I need to do”.  The best part of about this gain is that I know why I gained and it is no where near being a mystery.  That means it is easily remedied.  Amen to that.  I weigh 187.2 again.

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I still did not count my point yesterday but this week is a new week.  I did not eat bad food at all but I just did not count and not counting is a bad habit to get into.  I am right back to counting and journaling today.  It’s not hard to count and journal, it is just that I have to make myself do it.  The old way of life tells me I don’t need to but the new me says I will and I have to in order to keep the weight off.  I am thankful for my WW meeting as it is a great source of help and strength whether I am gaining or losing.  Going to meetings is essential for me.

Last nights weigh-in and the biggest loser

Unfortunately, my weigh-in was cancelled last night.  We had some snow yesterday and I guess that is why.  I went to the meeting and all the lights were off and nobody was around.  Bummer.  It was ok though, although the first thought that went into my mind was “Ewh, now I can go get kettle chips.”  I didn’t, it was a very short lived thought that I put out of my mind very quickly. 

I just went home and cooked dinner.  My wifeworks late on Tuesday so I like to try and make dinner for her on that night.  I cooked Tilapia, cheesy broccoli, sweet potatoes, and some rice for her.  She always appreciates it I think and I enjoy doing it.  It was a nice evening.

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I also got to watch the biggest loser.  I am a week behind because I don’t have TV.  We either buy it on itunes or go to my moms/sisters house.  Last night we bought it.  I just love that show.  It always makes me feel so good.  I love to see them do far more than they thought they were capable of because that is what we all can do.  Anyways, I was surprised to see the guy get voted off and not the lady.  They all dislike the lady so much but I can see that the guy at this point in the show is a far bigger threat to them.  I was interesting.