Posts Tagged ‘fat


Skinny person says,”I need to lose weight”. Larger person says, “What the …………”

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I was absolutely blown away by a comment on one of my previous posts.  I mean I was totally shocked.  In fact, I can’t even express the shock/eye opening/revelation/amazingness.

I have not experienced an “Oh my God” moment like this for a long long time.  This was not a “hater” comment, nor was it even a negative comment.  It just simply opened my eyes to the truth in a very real way.  I love this about having my blog.  You all say some amazing things that stir up thought and emotions that help me and others grow. 
Basically, the comment touched on a situation that we are all very familar with.  Here is the situation as the commentator put it, “Speaking from my own experiences, you know how when you were fat and some skinny person would talk about how fat they were, or how they needed to lose weight? And you would think to yourself “oh, pul-leeze!”  So my commentator friend told me “Well that’s you now, dude.”
This was in no way meant to be offensive or mean and I did not take it that way.  It was like the first time that I realized that the skinny person in the story is me.  I have kept my weight off for over a year now and it took a wonderful person to say, “Well that’s you now, dude.” for me to actually see it.  Holy freakin A.  I sent shock waves through me.  I was sitting in bed at 4:30 in the morning reading this comment on my blackberry all tired and such but when I read that little part I was wide awake and in Awe. 
Part of me was happy that I was the skinny person but part of me was scared that I had been doing the skinny person part in the situation.  I hope that I have not been offending anyone because I am a skinny person hoping to lose 8 more lbs or so.  I don’t think I have.  I am pretty sure that everyone knows my heart and that I am just trying to be as healthy as an emotional eater can be.  I came from being really big to now being healthy but I guess I just never saw it that way.  I guess the fat mind is still in much more control than I had thought. HAHAHA.  Put yourself in my shoes for a minute.  Think of yourself at your goal weight, feeling super strong and healthy, and reading this comment.   I read that comment and for a split second think why would she say  that I am that person (Because that is what I first said because I never thought of myself as that person) and then BAM,  It hits me like a ton of bricks.
Thank you Maggieapril for leaving that comment.  You really helped open my eyes to the fact that I have accomplished a lot.  I know that I know this already and many people tell me all the time but your comment just revealed it in such a unique and real way to me.  I needed that.

The hurt involved in being a failure. Friendly big people.

It hurts to be fat.  It hurts to fail at losing.  It hurts to not get what I am seeking for when I binge on food to feel better.  It just plain hurts to see thin people and hate my own body. 

What is all of this about you ask?  It is about a simple little thing that I have learned that life can do to you if you let it.  It can mold you into a compassionate and loving person.  Yes, it can make you into a bitter evil minded person who everyone hates if you let it, but life doesn’t want to make you that way.  I have found it most interesting that sometimes big people are nicer than the “beautiful people”.  I was thinking on this subject for weeks.  Pondering why this would be and I have come to my own little conclusion:  It hurts to be fat!!! Continue reading ‘The hurt involved in being a failure. Friendly big people.’