Posts Tagged ‘lost 100 pounds

05
Jan
10

It is a freaking war over here. Take the poll too!

I feel like it would take this many people pulling for me to freaking eat good on WW for just one full damn day

I am at a loss right now for eating.  As you know, I can do running.  I can do goal setting.  I can do a lot of stuff but right now I am having the hardest time eating well.  Eating well is the most essential part of the weight loss and maintenance journey other than internal healing of self.  Without proper eating, I could gain all my weight back while still running and eventually running would end.  I am scared right now about this guys.  I have not been in this place since I was never on WW.  I have not given up hope though.  We all fight out fight but hearing you guys talk about your stuff on your blogs, I get courage from it.  I need you guys now.  I can’t do this alone.  I need some building up.  I know I get a lot of it already but this is a special time for me.  A VERY SPECIAL TIME.  A time like non other.  I am going to make it even if I do all bruised up and scratched.

So here is some truth for ya!  I weighed 211 when I went to Hawaii.  I weighed 207 the day after I got back.  I have not weighed since then because I am scared to death of it and it doesn’t even matter how much I weigh if I am not eating healthily.  I want to be in the 180’s and I won’t be able to get there before my 100 miler.  This was my goal but with all the Sh– that is going on I have been eating my emotions you know.  Here is what I am going to do.  I want to tell you all for the tiny bit of accountability that it is.  Usually you all forget after a while. hahaha  So I get to slip by.  Like quitting chewing.  Remember that one like a year ago, and then 6 months ago, and then a couple of months ago.  HAHAHAHA  I have quit now though.  12 days today.  No chew.  Here is what I want to do about this:

  • Take one moment at a time.  Bring it back to basics.  Make ONE GOOD HEALTH DECISION at a time
  • Keep my running program up to train properly for the 100 miler which is in 32 days.  It is not easy training for this type of race under this kind of emotional trauma, but I am convinced I will conquer.
  • Go grocery shopping for all necessary food to keep me going.
  • Blog more about my food, weight, and health struggles.  Get my mind focused
  • Go back to WW now that I am not so damn depressed.
  • Take every tiny freaking bit of encouragement you guys can give. 🙂
  • NEVER, and I mean NEVER give up.  One step, keeping on keeping on, I WILL MAKE IT DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my motivational pic for the moment. I am a hardcore athlete and I can get back into the shape I want to be in. I will win and live this battle.

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