I did 5 miles today. My legs are having a hard time recovering from my last two long runs. One was 63 that you all know about and the other was 25 last weekend. My legs felt pretty good in the 25 miler but the runs this week were damn hard. My legs felt like lead and they felt like that were straight all the time stiff like. But I am still out there. I am still going for it. I am still in great shape. It was a beautiful day this morning during my run. The sun was in full effect, motorcycles were out enjoying the warmth, people were dressed in slightly warm weather clothes. I saw each of them as I tromped on by them as I took one smooth step after the other. The air was refreshing and crisp. I listened to Mariachi music for the whole run which put a romantic touch to the time outside. So although my legs are mourning the abuse for a bit, it was an extrememly great experience to have on this wonderful day
Posts Tagged ‘love
Had a horrible day the other day. It was just killing me how I have been eating, how I see my body, how I see my running, how I see myself in general. Basically, had a bad day because of my self talk and just feeling bad for myself and so unconfident. But……..I got an email from a good friend. My good friend did not know I was basically in the pit of self hatred that day, but he was sensitive to it. I can’t even express the importance of that email to me. The only way I can explain it’s impact on me is LIFE CHANGING. The email did not have any information that I don’t already know. It did not have any secret to success. It was just a PERFECTLY timed picture of my story injected into my life. Basically, the jist of it was that he was telling a group of people about my journey from the start of WW all the way to DNF’ing at 63 miles in the 100 and through to present. You see, my friend knows my “situation” in my personal life. He knows that what I have accomplished during these dark days is nothing small. So his email was a reminder to me.
It is so easy to forget what I have done. That I have really done amazing things even for a person who has not lost 130 lbs. He described the faces, the emotions, and the tears of the listeners of the real life story. And by reading this, I was completely filled with life again. It was like I was encased in this bubble or dark room but when I read the email I was removed from that fog and put into reality again. I was humbled by the achievements that I had done. I was appreciative of all the people who have helped and supported me along the way. I was thankful for just not giving up on my own dreams while others were giving up on me. I have a hard time, REALLY HARD TIME, having confidence these last three or four months. I have been broken and forgot the stength that I really do have. The ability to overcome. I still struggle so much with loving myself, and accepting my body, and taking myself for who I am. But yesterday I started out a fresh. I ate perfectly. I exercised well. I thought well of myself. Maybe………….I can start my new life on good terms with myself and achieve what I want for myself. I want to achieve a healthy self respect.
I want to write this post so that I can reflect on some things. You just never know what will happen in life. A friend of my family got into an accident today. Broke lots of bones, got hurt really bad, and the rest is in the hands of God. So I have to reflect on the fact that life takes many unexpected turns. Like the photo above of the tornado, you don’t know when it will touch down or what will happen. Sometimes you can’t even plan for it. I have been in tornadoes. All you can do is wait, pray, and hide somewhere that is less dangerous.
Since being in college, I have had two friends get into unexpected accidents. One died instantly on his way to work leaving behind a new born baby and wonderful wife. The other hit head on witha semi-turck going 75 miles an hour. She lived, ended up marrying the doctor who had to give her enemas when every bone in her body was just about crushed. They have now divorced because she wanted to go back to the party lifestyle. I say this because it all happened in an instant. No way to plan, no way to prepare for the difficult times ahead. I count my blessings today and thank God for his mercy. My days are numbered as well.
So out of this time of relfection on thankfulness, I take away a couple key components of life. I must love those around me for on my death bed I will not wish I had worked harder or made more money. I will not wish I had a bigger house and a fancier car. I won’t care about my IRA, I won’t care about my weight, or my points, or my marathons. All I will care about is how I loved others while I was here. The places I go, the things I do, the accomplishments I achieve are all wonderful but without people to love whom I can share the victories and losses with, the THINGS are essentially meaningless.
So today I set out to love others as I have been loved. To share with others the moments in my life that may bring comfort or strength or joy. I set out to learn how to love people better.
I also want to say thank you to each and everyone of you for reading this blog. I want to say thank you for your support and encouragment and advice and wisdom. The comments you write are meaningful to me as well as the other readers who read them. To all of you, KEEP ON KEEPING WITH A SPIRIT OF LOVE AND LIFE AND JOY.
A fellow blogger reminded me of something that I know all to well but had forgotten about. Maybe you know about it too. It is those situations where you make fun of your weight to get the first shot in because you think other people want to get a shot in about your weight. Here is what the blogger said in the comment:
“Its a hard habit to break when there have been so many years of self-deprecating humor and mean comments directed towards myself (by me) in an attempt beat others to the punch and let them know that I’m fully aware of my fat (when in all likelihood, the majority of them weren’t even the least bit concerned with my fat).”
Have you been the victim of your own “fat jokes”. I certainly have. I can’t even count the number of times that I joked about my weight just because I felt uncomfortable with it. I wanted to make people laugh about it and when they did I secretly felt hurt in a way on the inside. I can’t recall the exact things that I used to, and sometimes still say. It is odd to me that I still do this even though most of my fat is gone. But the comment blew me away. The light bulb went off and I thought, “Oh my God,I did that for so long too. This is not a healthy thing to do, but I and so many others have or still do it.”
What do you think, can we stop making fun of ourselves and maybe just take things for what they are and move towards health? What are some of the things you used to say to make yourself the “butt of the joke”? Did you or do you do this kind of self-depreciating joking? Let us know!
Well, my wife is gone for the weekend to visit her parents. I always miss her when she is gone. So I am taking out special time to post a special message to my special wife.
I love you Audrey. You are my SPECIAL. I am so blessed to have you in my life and you are a great support and encouragement to . You are smart, beautiful, healthy, and hard working. What a great woman you. Have a great weekend.
Here is a great quote that is very relevant to how I felt yesterday regarding some “meanines” out there. Check it out at this wonderful bloggers site. It is about being positive and how it affects those around us.
Ah yes, the wonderul and alluring Menudo (cows stomach). Old mexican (maybe not so old) traditions hold to the truth that menudo is a sure fire way to cure a hang-over and bring back the passion to a love life. Personally, I think it tastes like bland rubber. HAHA. If this was all I had to eat I could lose a lot more weight. Anybody been cured before? What do you think, let me know?
Here is a Menudo soup recipe http://www.vivacincodemayo.org/menudo_recipe_1.htm