Creating an atmosphere of confidence in your mind for your journey

image from studentbranding.com

I had a terrific week and a few days ago I wrote a lot about the confidence I had in running long distance training or race runs.  As I ran my 6 mile run today I thought and thought and thought about this but I didn’t know I was until I finished.  I said to myself mid-way that I should go for ten miles because I knew I could do it and it would increase my long run distance build-up faster.  I held back though.  I thought to myself that I am 100% sure that even right now I could push through and battle out a marathon finish.  I mean heck, when there is so much on the line (a finishers shirt!!!  🙂 ) you always finish.  I know I could.  Would it be really fun?  Would it be “relaxing” and benificial?  Would it foster good thoughts or bad ones?  Then it struck me about training for me personally.  My body responds well to pretty much any kind of training I think.  I recover well.  I can go a long ass ways.  But it REALLY struck my that a conservative build-up (like the one I did when I first started running) did more for creating an ATMOSPHERE OF CONFIDENCE within my own mind than it did for creating a super fit person.  Of course the super fit goes along with the running but the multiple ultras and marathons, the way I explained to myself in my writing how I thought and felt going into a race, the sense of almost scoffing at a distance (with respect though) because I had done the work in the trenches far before hand.  It struck me that the ATMOSPHERE OF CONFIDENCE in my own mind was what I need to foster more than anything.  THAT is what creates IN ME the ability to stick with it, the ability to enjoy it, the ability to endure much longer distances.  In other words, I held back.  I cherished the “small” 6 mile victory.  I saw in my minds eye the red line on my confidence meter bump up because I finished my 6 miles in complete comfort and with a sigh of satisfaction followed by a smile.  There is plenty of time to build-up to 20, 30, 40 mile long runs.  I was reminded of the times where I had a 30 mile long run and I felt this exact same way when I finished: in comfort and with a smile.  Not sore for days, happy I did it, confident I could do it again. 

 

It also then dawned on me that training (or even starting exercise for the non-exerciser) is  a work of creating that atmosphere of confidence in the mind.  Making sure to work it in a way to create small victories to maximize and ensure that the confidence builds.  The body will make the changes it needs to, but the mind almost needs to be tricked into believe in itself if that makes sense.  It may seem slow forcing delayed gratification but suddenly you end up doing 50 times more than you ever thought feeling like its easy just like that 6 mile run.  I am committed to this.  Developing that atmosphere of confidence, developing that consistency of victory.  Maybe not moving on too fast but making sure I have lots of victories along the way.  Building, building, building.

 

Hopefully that all made sense because I just rambled a lot. LOL.

A life lesson from a “tuff” race!

 

photo by strangesports.com

So I have been thinking about this blog post for about two months now and this last race pushed me over the edge to finally be able to articulate in some form what I have wanted to say.  Most of you  know that I think ultra-running parallels life in many interesting ways.  One of the ways is the unexpected blow up.  Just reading what I just wrote possibly brought up your own sacred times in life where you experienced a “blow up”.  Not of temper, not of fire, but of life itself and the dreams that are contained within it.  Times in your life that forced a renegotiation of your goals or path.  We have all experienced this in some form or another.  But what we do with these times is what counts the most.  Avoiding times like these at all costs will not permit you to totally avoid them.  We can plan, we can hope, we can pray, but these times occur regardless.  It is possible to minimize the damage they can cause or possibly their frequency but one thing is for sure; they will happen.  And this is ok.  So I am going to write out one of these the best way I know how because I think you’ll like it and I just need to do it so here it goes.  Picture your own life as I describe the situation in running form.

Ahhhhhhh……….my goal is ahead and I have worked so long and hard and dreamed for so long about it.  I can taste it.  I can almost experience my dream in my mind just pondering on the attainment of the goal.  THAT place is so happy.  I know it will be amazing to get there and the sense of peace I will have knowing that I got my dream.  The journey has been long to get to the starting line but I am here.  I start my race with such joy and comfort knowing what my future hours hold for me.  Running in the breeze thinking how blessed I am to be able to be taking part in life like this.  I meet people along the way that improve my experience greatly.  I find out more about them as we run together.    I know that they are most likely just for a time but at this time it is great to get to know them.  As I am running I see the hills before me without fear because I know I can walk if needed or I can slow it down enough to conserve my energies.  There is no rush really, I have a long race ahead of me but the excitement must be contained so that I don’t burn out on a good thing.  I keep on just getting more excited that my dreams are ahead of my and they will become a reality.  Of course there are rough patches during the run.  My legs burn and I want to rest.  My back is tight and I want to stretch.  Many thoughts come during those rough patches that widdle my dream down to barely possible.  Then the sun shines in through the trees and my life returns as I eat some more carbs.  My mind awakens and I am in “the good” again believing all is possible.  Time moves on and on as I run.  I’m running, I’m running, I’m running.  After a long time of pursuing this dream something happens seemingly out of nowhere.  It’s the blow up.  The blow up is a devastating crushing blow to my mind and emotions.  The dream is shut down and the door feels closed.  Survival is my only thought during a blow up.  That and giving up completely.  I know the end is near enough but the short distance from the present darkness to the light at the end of my great achievement appears to be many more miles than it really is.  My thoughts change from delight in life and running to self questioning and sanity.  “Was I stupid for trying to achieve and experience great things.  Did I bite off more than I can chew.  Will I hurt myself doing this.  Am I in danger in this dark time” .  All the negative thoughts that I was able to conquer regarding my dreams before are now so consuming that I cannot shut them up.  Panic sets into me just as powerfully as the joy set in earlier in my journey.  Will I be able to get what I want so badly out of this now that attaining my original goal is impossible?????  This is where the magic happens in ultra-running AND life.  I know I can’t make it to my original goal.  I am already running longer than my goal finishing time and I have so far to go still.  What am I to do with all of this.  If I give up and quit I still have to walk to the finish because there is now way out of the race (life).  If I keep going through this blow up it’s going to hurt really bad and I don’t want to hurt that bad anymore.  If I just go slower I might as well quit!  But then the renegotiating happens.  At first I hate it because it feels weak like a cop-out but the courage begins to build again but for a new purpose.  The original goal is now very far gone but the endurance and capacity to conquer the blow up now takes precedence.  I find myself realizing that the journey could very possibly be more important than the attainment of the original goal.  The the experience of this hurt, this “failure”, this “shame” could be worth millions more than crossing the finish line without scars.  Although down and out, I forge ahead with a new but painfully real struggle.  I must not let the “blow up” finish me.  Then it hits me, “OMG………..the goal is not me.  I’m me and I don’t have to let the circumstance finish me and in fact I can let it refine me.”  My heart melts at the prospect of making it through this blow up as a better man, as a better more knowledgable runner.  I find great peace in this painful experience knowing that just making it through to the other side of it means so much to me.  And when I cross the finish line where my goal once sat waiting for me to take it, I am thankful for making it at all.  I am thankful for that pain and hurt that even though at the time seemed so intense was really only temporary as compared to the impact it will have on my future runs and life. 

So I think it is with life too.  We all have goals and aspirations and dreams.  Sometimes it is as though we are running through life so smoothly but we don’t see that huge cliff that drops off just ahead.  That cliff that swallows up so much of what we think we have in us to give.  That blow up that takes so much out of us that life seems terribly painful to keep at.  So much is possible for us.  So much is right there for us to become if we can renegotiate the path and the goals.  In a sense I feel like even though we might not get what we originally wanted, we will get the best that is attainable by moving on through the blow up.  Things get painful, and slow, and don’t work on our time line but keeping on develops in us such a tremendous power to achieve the most important thing.  That is to achieve the depth and reality of the person that we can be.

Strolling Jim 40 miler 2010 continued: 22 miles, chocolate cookie, heat, humidity, not good!!!!!!!!

Here I am out on the course. The man in front of me was 65 years old and very encouraging. He had lost 30 lbs and was going to lose 50 more. He said he was proud of me and "JASON!!!! Keep Going and NEVER stop running!!! GO GO GO!!!" That was at the tope of his lungs as I passed him. He also said I was a wise runner.

I really only had one rough patch during the race and that happened at mile 22.  A dear boy said, “Hey mister, do you want a chocolate cookie??”  Well I knew that this did not do well with my tummy but how could I say no.  I had three bites and threw it in the bushes when he couldn’t see.  I almost immediately got blood sugar roller coaster mania and felt sick.  This last for about 2 miles when it finally evened out.  No cookies for me.  Not that early at least.  HAHAHAHAHA.  Basically I ran all the flats and down hills at a nice relaxed pace.  It is a VERY hilly race so when I got to any hill I just walked and talked with other runners so that I could learn about them and meet people.  It was really nice not to push pace at all.  I was also heavier during this race than any other race I had ever done but I fared well I would say.  And my green shirt looked cool I think.

Just another pic of me running from afar

The guy behind me in the above pic was probably the only factor that added some “push” for me.  He was in front of my most of the time and we also leap frogged often.  But towards the end he was in front of me by a long ways and I was determined to beat him in.  I did beat him in by a long ways in the end.  I really picked up the pace for the last 5k.  I was happy about this. LOL.  I hit the marathon and 50k marks feeling very good.  I did not struggle in this race to keep on really with the exception of the cookie incident.  It is amazing how the beauty of the course takes you in and helps you to enjoy your time out there with friends.  Speaking of friends, my friend was an awesome handler.  She met me every 5 miles and because of this we met a fantastic family from the area.  The guys wife also met him every 5 miles or so and she had about three weeks worth of yummy food in the back of her suburban.  She was so kind to me and many other runs always stopping and asking if I needed anything to eat or drink.  Thankfully, she had REGULAR COKE in the back and I took a bottle of it around mile 30 and it FELT GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.   I took another one at 38 miles.  I love regular coke during an ultra marathon.  Because of the 100 year flooding that occurred during and after the race, I was blessed enough to be taken in by this family for about two days while I searched with my friend for a way back to the airport.  This woman, named Lisa and husband mike, made me biscuits and gravy.  I mentioned how much I loved them at the finish line and she invited us over to eat some that she especially made for me.  HAHAHAHA.  They are wonderful and I will never forget them for as long as I live.  They made the trip so much more memorable.

Adjusting my water bottles as I run in to meet my friend at a 5 mile marker.

I also have to say that having my friend meet me every 5 miles was such an encouragement.  Even though I did not need anything, it was nice to know that someone was going to be waiting for me just to look at me with encouragement and tell me to keep on.  I have never had this much support on this race before.  It was really cool.

At this point I am starting to move a bit faster. It is getting closer to the end.

During this race  I pondered on many things in my life.  What was to become of it, what had happened in it, what I was going to do with all of it……………and it was really good for me.  It was hard as I have a lot of memories with Audrey for this race.  She had gone with me the last two times I ran it.  This time, I had to work at making new memories, with new friends, with new strategies, and a new future.  I have to admit, it was not easy at all.  In fact, it was really hard, but I made it to the end with victory.  I feel good about that.

An amazing realization for me and running!

I have come a long way in my running but not just physically.  I have grown and matured through my running journey.  Running has  changed my mind and attitude right along with my body.  I recently had a very special email conversation with my coach regarding how things are going for me lately.  As you all know I have been having a hard time lately.  To be honest with you all, I am completely amazed at the fact that I have stuck with running at all let alone actually completing the final months of 100 miler training.  It is intensive for me to do this running as I work about 70 hours a week, have my own personal problems, and other stuff that regular people do.  But to my astonishment I have kept at this.  But it has not been easy I tell you.  It has not been easy at all.  Here is what I wrote today about my running because I could not finish my 10 mile goal paced run today.

that first three miles TOTALLY WIPED ME OUT.  I am not joking either.  It just wasted me and it was very difficult to do it and then to keep going even for the next three miles.  Got little over 6 miles in for the day.

My thinking on this conjured up a couple of things.  Of course, the PR of 55 miles in like 22 hours last weekend has its residual effects.  I am sure that that had something to do with how I felt today but I don’t think that it is the main factor.  My legs and body can take it no problem.  That is what my body tells me anyway.  Here is what I really think is going on.

I am really on the edge of what I can do right now.  I know beyond any doubt that given different circumstances I could do more but I don’t have different circumstances.  I have my life the way it is right now and I am me, just the way I am right now.  I am EXTREMELY proud of what I am accomplishing through all of this.  At times, to be totally honest, I don’t even know how I am still pushing on with running like this.  I feel most people would have just settled for barely maintaining SOME running, let a lone pulling off distance PR’s every other week and such.  HAHAHAHA.  I don’t sleep enough right now and this is a huge factor in all of this.  I am exhausted much of the time but I just can’t do it.  Sometimes I can’t because I am talking WAY to late.  Sometimes I just can’t because I am mad or I am sad or whatever you know.  I am not ashamed, this is just how it is right now and it won’t be that way forever.  So all of this said, we are doing a fantastic job taking me right to the edge of what I can do at this real and authentic point in my life.  What I can survive in this last month of training for the 100.  If it were another time, I would be able to finish every run just as planned but it is not another time.  The speedier work just totally kills me.  For some reason, the long runs are so much more manageable because I have one goal of finishing the distance, but the speed works my mind over because I have to maintain another goal during the run.  I have exhibited vast amounts of persistance in my training, great endurance, great commitment, but I am pretty sure we have taken me to my limit for where I am at right now.  I don’t so much mean what my body can do but just what I as a person can do at this time in my life if that makes any sense.   This is a most glorious thing.  It is what it is.  I need to be at my limit for such a race.  We are not injuring me.  We are not making me overtrain into collapse and despair.  I have never really had problems with finishing workouts as intended but at this time I realize that I am doing ALL I CAN DO.  It really amazes me.

I thank you so much for bringing me to the edge.  I think of it as the “red line” that you have talked about with world record marathon attempts.  I am hovering just under that “red line”.  I feel like this whole experience IS A PR for me.  I different type of PR, but a real one nonetheless.  Like you said before, I am ready for the 100 miler.  Ready as I ever will be for this time.  I will run that race with all I have.  Maybe I am just realizing I only have all that I have.  And if I don’t have it I can’t give it more.  HAHAHAHA.  This is true.

Please let me know if all of this is just bullshit and a cop-out.  I don’t think it is though.  It is the way I perceive what is going on but you are on the outside so you have a great perspective for me to hear.  It might not all be perfect but I know I have vast amounts of ability to keep on keeping on my friend.

So those couple of paragraphs were right from my heart.  I am on the edge.  I am training right at this point where I know that I can’t do anymore.  But I am thriving at the same time.  I am glowing with accomplishment that I am sticking with this goal.  I have stuck this out for basically two years.  That is a long ass time to prepare for something.  It is not the same like the years of preparation from college or things like that.  I have trained for two years for an event that will be over in one day.  That is it.  No more.  But like I said, I think that the true victory is going through this process in general.  I took one step and one run at a time until I reached this point.  Sure I have had many curve balls thrown into the mix but I stuck with it.  Here are the wonderful words that my coach told me.  He always has the best thing to say.

I have some ways I have to tell you… you have made a major breakthrough in running. But the breakthrough is not what you think. It is the fact that you are comfortable having “done all you can do” and come race day you will “do the best you can”. Too many runners are all or nothing… do or die… finish or else… PR or else. You have learned that the process IS IN FACT a PR for you. Huge breakthrough. And it ultimately reduces stress for race day.

You’re right, mentally and physically you have done and are doing all you can. No worries. The hardest stuff is done. Stay focused now on race day… relaxing and enjoying the process of the race itself.. and how it unfolds… with all its uncertainties….

This was such a wonderful thing to hear at this time in my life.  Thanks for listening.

strong 6……8……..14………41.5

I had several days of heavy running.  I feel really good about it.  I discovered much about my body, my running, and my emotions.  I had a great experience doing all of these runs.  Extra special though was the LOOOOOOOONG one.  I of course LOVE those long runs.  I mean, sometimes I don’t look forward to them but they are so good for me I think.  I have to concentrate and push and step and walk and run and eat and drink and do it all again and again.  Pain comes heavy, easy , then nothing, then elated joy and amazement, then back do boredom, and on and on.  As many of you have read my knee has been bothering me.  I have never been injured.  I am still not injured thank GOD.  And for some odd reason I don’t push if I think I am about to be injured which has saved my running life many times.  This wisdom is contrary to my normal obsessive desires but I have such a desire to be a life long runner that I don’t want to jeapordize my future in running.  Not that I have a future competitively but I want to be able to run looooong in to the future you know what I mean.  It is an important activity for mind and soul and body for me.  Here is a picture of my knee and where it hurts.  Then I will tell you about my 20 miler turned 14 and then my 40 miler.

So there is my knee.  HA!  I thought I did not have really hairy legs.  Weird.  Anyway, on Saturday night after work I had scheduled a 20 mile long run.  I headed out and my knee hurt from the start.  It does not hurt real bad but I know that my knee is there if that makes any sense.  I had a couple of fast spurts across the street and a jump up to a curb that hurt VERY bad.  This caused alarm in my little heart and I called it short at 14 miles so that I did not do any damage that would hinder my ability to run 40 the next day.  Basically, I knew I could have finished the run if I shortened up my stride, went slower, and babied it but I did not want to chance it because the 40 is the staple of my running diet for the 100 mile race prep.  So on to today.  I got up at 7 a.m.   I had a fabulous mental and emotional break through.  It was exhilarating.  I was so happy to realize the things that I realized.  I felt totally liberated for the moment so I figured that would be a good time to go tackle the mental and physical trials of a 40 miler.  Once again, I headed out and my knee hurt right away.  It hurt a little more than the day before but I shortened up my stride and slowed it down a bit like I realized I could.  One step after the next, I made it to the marvelous moment at 1:54 into the run.  THAT IS RIGHT.   YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.  I RAN IN A BIT OF  PAIN FOR 1 HOUR AND 54 MINUTES BEFORE THE JOY CAME.  AT 1:54 ALL MY KNEE PAIN WENT AWAY.  NO MORE.  IT WAS GREAT. I proceeded to keep on keeping on until I reached home at the 41.5 mile mark.  I had to go that extra 1.5 just to put a middle finger up to my current life events.  I also went that extra 1.5 as a show of gratitude for those same life events.  I hate them but I appreciate them.  Does that make sense to you guys.

BIG MISTAKE OF THE DAY

I drink hammer nutrition perpetuem for my calories and hydration during my longer runs.  I usually use the orange flavor.  No problems at all.  This time I only had the delicious flavor of LATTE.  It tastes great but it has caffeine.  Lots of it.  So image drinking like a four shot every hour for 8 hours straight.  I almost had a fit out there.  At the 6.5 hour mark I could not take anymore in.  It was just to much caffeine for me and I have a HIGH tolerance as it is.  By the time I hit the 7 hour mark I was collapsing bad.  No water, no calories, and still running.  At the 38 mile mark I was dizzy, just about to throw up, and barely making it.  I did make it though.  I kept on.  Readjusted.  One foot in front of the other until I finished.  Then I had a king size fast break candy bar.  MMMMMM.

Total miles: 41.5

Total calories burned: 6,528

Total calories eaten: 2,080 (not enough)

Total hydration: 147 ounces

I was victorious again.  I only have 27 days until the starting line of my 100 miler.

Marathon #20. Portland Marathon

Well, well, well……….  This marathon was a totally different experience.  It was not even slightly the same as other marathons that I have run, even other Portland Marathons.

It was a mighty good challenge to say the least and I am very happy to say that I got a new PR and actually finished in like the top 10% of all runners.  That was something very pleasing and new to me.  I ended up with a time of 3:33 for the marathon.  This is an improvement of 25 minutes compared to my former personal record marathon time.  For that day, on that course, using the strategy I used; I COULD NOT HAVE GONE FASTER.  That was it.  I gave it my all.  I have had to fight off the disappointment of not finishing the marathon with my goal pace range of 7:30-7:50 miles but I am trying to focus on the positive.  In the last 10 months I have went from a 4:14 (9:41 miles) to a 3:33 (8:06 miles).  This is a vast improvement and my hard work paid off very well.

One mistake that I made was to try and do the marathon using the strategy of the Pace Groups.  They use an effort based model where each mile is run in a different time in order to create the same “feeling” or “effort”.  This is not how I have practiced.  I always run mile goal paced miles strictly within my 7:30-7:50 range.  Using the pace group strategy I was doing some miles in the 6’s and that just was to fast for me even if it was only for one mile at a time.  I normally stick to my plan, go slower on the uphill and make up for it going down the hill.  This has always worked out well.  I should have been more confident in my own plan.  I may not have finished with a 3:20 (the pace group I ran with) but I would have probably finished better than I did.  But like I said, I did the best I could with how things were in reality and I exploded my previous PR.

Running a marathon faster like this is totally different than what I am used to.  It is not as enjoyable to run like this but it has it’s own special appeal and allure.   It is very satisfying in it own way.  For one, you run along side some very focused people and you are just going, going, going, very focused like.  There are also WAY MORE SPECTATORS.  This was shocking to me.  Usually by the time I go by most of the spectators are gone because there person has already passed through.  Being in the top 10% made it that 90% of the people had not yet passed through so 90% of the spectators were still waiting.  And that was a lot of family and friends.  It is fun though, they call out your name (it is on the bib) and it is motivating.

Overall I am pleased with how things went.  I am also sore as hell today.  Much more than normal. 

Here I am waiting for race walker champion Tammi. Fellow blogger who won the race walk division. I am also getting teared up by watching everyone push through and finisher their own marathon

Progress in running and marathon #20

I have been waiting for this moment now for a long time To be exact, I have been waiting and running now for 2 years and 7 months.  For some reason 20 marathons is a major milestone in my head.  It is a big deal to me.  Not only is it a big deal to have 20 marathons under my belt, but this will be the first marathon that I really go for it.  It is also neat that for my first goal paced marathon and for my 20th marathon, I will be doing my 3rd Portland Marathon.  It is kind of an anniversary marathon I guess since it was my first marathon ever back in October 2007.  My time in that first marathon was 5:45 or so.  I can’t exactly remember now but I am pretty sure it was in the 5:40’s.

There are many areas of running that a person can see improvement and I am going to share some of the growth in running that I have experience.  My goal is to inspire hope that sooooo much more is possible for us than we think when we are first starting out.  I remember that when I first started out with a long run of two miles that I wanted so bad to someday be able to run a mile in the 7 minute range.  Now I will be trying to run a marathon with 26 consecutive miles in that range.  I hoped to be able to run a marathon in about 6 hours, now I will be running one in hopefully half that time.

My goal was to run injury free and still love running after a long time.  I have done this.  I have not sustained an injury nor have I given up the most basic of exercises.  Despite my general sense of low self-esteem, I have been proud of what I have accomplished with running and weight loss.   This is possible you guys.  It is possible to be transformed from an overweight person who hates exercise to an athlete with many accomplishments.  Here is a little bullet list of what is possible.  At least this is how it worked for me.

• All out mile: 9+ min., 7:52, 7:07, 6:56, 6:41, 613, 5:41 is now my new PR.
• Half-marathon: 2 hrs, 56 min, now it is 1:32 (7:02 pace)
• Marathon: 5:45, and my new PR is 3:58.
• 50K:  5:35 to a new sub 5hr
• 41.2 miles: 7:51 to a new 6:56
• I breathe about as hard running 8:30 minute miles as I did running 13:45 minute miles in 2007.
• My legs heal faster and my soreness is gone on the third day compared to being sore for almost 6 days after my first marathon.
• I increased my long run from 2 miles to 50 miles.  That two miles seemed just about as hard as 50 at the time, at least mentally.

I am a new man.  I hope that this little changes that I have made can inspire you to believe that you can make sure strides yourself.  Thanks for listening.

Marathon #19 is in the bag!

My 19th marathon went just as I expected.  It was a no-frills “long run” as my final long preparationg for the Portland Marathon.  I usually will do my 100 miler pace on these “long run” marathons but this time I didn’t.  I walked every 15 minutes for about 1 minute.  I also found that my legs and body are more comfortable at a faster pace rather than a slower one.  The slower one conserves energy but at the same time makes my legs feel tired too.

So I had to work on Saturday and the marathon was on Sunday in a town 4-5 hours north of my home.  I got off of work at 5 pm and then had to take my wife to her annual employee appreciate party at one of the doctors house.  So I did that, had some food and fun, then left for Burlington, WA around 7:30 pm.  I finally arrived at my sisters house at around 10:30 (she lives about 45 minutes south of marathon start).  I talked with her and her husband for an hour and hit the hay.

Woke up bright and early at 4 am, had coffee, ate two small chewy granola bars, and waited for our time of departure.  My sister took me to the marathon and was amazed at all the “regular” looking people who were running it.  By regular, she meant people who were not “rail skinny” like the elite distance runners you see on TV.  Yep, that’s right.  We are just regular people conquering the miles.  Doing what we can with our regular bodies.

I finished the marathon in 4:10.  I did 10 minute miles for the first ten miles.  I did 9:30 minute miles for the second ten miles.  Then I did 8 minute miles for the last six miles.  I was a hot sunny day and the marathon maniacs were out in full force.

Food, run, and fun. Yesterday

I had a pretty full day yesterday.  My work was very busy and I went golfing aftward.  I got home around 8:30 which is getting very late for me as this should be my bedtime.  Over all though it was a good day.  My mental and emotional side was pretty good, WW went good, and I did great golfing too.

FOOD

My food was right on yesterday.  I did good and that felt good.  I was relieved to be able to have a great day of healthy eating.  Although I know how to do it I was afraid that I wouldn’t do it.  My resolve and appreciation for the health/weight loss journey was pretty strong.  Another big victory is that I did not eat junk even though I went golfing.  I tend to eat junk when I go golfing because afterward I am alone and in my car (my secret eating place) while at the same time soooooo hungry because of not eating for many hours.  This time, on the way to the golf course I bought two bananas that were not totally ripe which for some reason makes me feel more full than the totally ripe ones.  I ate one at the start of my round and I ate another right when I got done.  This held me over until I got home for dinner where I had an 8 point meal.

RUN

Yesterday my running schedule called for an easy 6 miler.  I knew work was going to be busy so I split the run up into two 3 mile runs.  I did three miles at lunch and three miles just at the end of the day before work was over.  I have a one hour period where the main production is finished but I am just waiting for people to finish up.  This is when I did my second run.  I did this easy run at about 8:30-40 minute miles.  My left hamstring was tender still from the speedwork on Wednesday but it faired well for the 6 miles.  The two runs were actually very nice.  During the run the highschool cross-country team in my workplace town was also running my same route so I got to run in their midst.  That was kind of neat I thouth.

FUN

My fun for the day was golf.  Of course fun is a very subjective determination.  I could have told you that I hated it at least two times during my 18 hole round.  Overall I did pretty good with a score of 86.  I was pleased with this score and with most of my shots.  It is such a difficult game to be good at.

Also on the menu for fun is a mini-vacation this weekend for me and my wife.  I will have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off which will feel like a one month vacation.  I am sure some of you can relate.  During the three days I have planned several things for Audrey and I to do together.  Saturday we will both get massages in the morning and then head off to the town we are staying in for shopping and exploring.  That evening Audrey will take a golf clinic as a complete first time golfer.  I am excited about this and hope she likes it.  If she doesn’t that is ok too though.  After the clinic we might hit some balls together and then have some kind of special dinner.  On Sunday I have 18 holes of golf first thing in the morning to give my wife some relaxing alone time for reading or whatever.  Then I scheduled a pedicure and manicure for her back-to-back so she will be getting done about when I get done.  She will be able to spend time at the spa in the hot-tub, steam room, etc. if she wants to.  Then at that evening I have golf planned as the last group of the day so we will not have any pressure from groups behind us.  This should make it more enjoyable for my beautiful wife and hopefully introduce the game in a more pleasant way.  Monday is totally open for sleeping in, talking, and relaxing.

My running workout today!

Speedwork is tough.  It is a great character builder if you ask me.  I have only had a couple of speedwork sessions that were kind of easy.  The rest are just plain hard.  Today I had 6×1000 meter reps with one minute breaks in between.  The laps are done as part of a 6 mile total for the run.  Here are my stats for today’s workout.

1st 1000 meters= 5:55 pace

2nd 1000 meters= 5:55 pace

3rd 1000 meters = 6:03 pace except I almost puked and had to stop at 600 meters and take a 4 minute break. HAHAHAHA

4th 1000 meters= 10k pace @ 6:28  minute miles

5th 1000 meters= 6:30 pace

6th 1000 meters= 6:30 pace

Overall pace counting running to the track and taking my one minutes walking breaks was about 8:04 average pace.

I was supposed to do the laps at 5k pace which is about 6:08 for me.  I went out to fast and this hurt me especially on these longer reps.  Usually I do 400 meters at this pace.  Needless to say, I could not keep that aggressive pace for all those reps.  Also needless to say though is that I built up mental strength (physical too I guess) because I did not quit and I just adjusted my paces so that I could finish.  My coach says that paces between 5k-10k are considered high quality paces for high quality workouts.  In two weeks,  have my last easy/slow marathon prior to my PR attempt at the Portland Marathon.  Hoping all will go well.

More on food, WW, life, etc. in the morning.  See you later.

Marathon #18 and more golf

I had a good but slightly lonely marathon weekend.  I went to bend/sunriver, Oregon on Friday night so that I would be able to pick up my race packet on Saturday morning.  I went to bed as soon as I got there because I had to get up at 4 a.m. to do a 10 miler before I went golfing at a really special golf course in Bend.  My 10 miler went very smoothly with no hiccups.

Saturday I played two rounds of golf so I got in a lot of activity even after my 10 mile easy run.  I didn’t play well but I had a good time.  I got done golfing around 8 p.m. and again went to bed right away so that I could get up around 3 a.m. to do 10 miles before the marathon start.

Sunday came in a hurry as I struggled to get out of my warm bed.  I was able to fit in 8 miles and finished this run about 5 minute before the marathon start.  At 7 a.m. the race started and all 112 marathoners took off up the 14 mile hill.  At first the hill was not very bad at all and I was able to run most of it with no problem.  I did a 4:1 run/walk ratio for the entire marathon except from miles 11-14 where the hill was just to steep and I walked.  Once we got to the top is was smooth and fun sailing down to about mile 20 (my mile 28) where the course flattened out.  Over-all the marathon was not really hard and it was enjoyable too.  I finished in 4:50.  This pace has allowed me to have post-race days without much soreness at all.  That has been VERY nice.

It was a good weekend and although I played golf and ran with many great people, I was really lonely without my wife.  I love her so much and she is my best friend.  I don’t like going to bed at night without her.  I don’t like not being able to see her in the evenings.  The good things is that she was able to have fun with her visiting family while I was gone.  I was happy for her in this respect.  She loves her family and that is a great thing.

Bye bye now!

White River 50 Miler Race Report! Long post with pics.

This was by far the most difficult event that I have ever experienced!!  I did this same race last year but this year was much harder.  Many ups and downs.  Many calm and chaotic moments.  In fact, it seemed as though I experienced just about everything during this race.  It was an intensely humbling and cleansing 11 hours and 48 minutes.  I have several pictures and stories of the race so keep reading.

Here I am at the start of the race at 5:30 a.m.  I have my three drop bags in my right hand and my water bottles in the other.  At this point I am a bit nervous about the journey but also very excited.  The early starters took off in into the mountains with a calm spirit.  Two miles into the race my watch beeped to let me know that the signal from my foot pod (the thing that tells me my pace) was lost.  I stopped for about 10 minutes to look for it and finally found it.  Then I looked at my shoe to find the clip that holds the pod onto the shoe and it also was gone. I got mad and threw the foot pod out into the forest.  About a mile later I realized I was looking at the wrong shoe and the clip was still there. DAMN IT!!  I thew a $100 foot pod away for nothing.  This was mentally discouraging because from that point on I never knew how far nor how fast I was running.

Here is a nice shot of what much of the 50 mile trail looked like.  Lots of roots, lots of elevation change, and lots of dust.  My legs were almost black at the finish line.  The fact that it was a trail run is also a major factor in what and how sore I get.  My ankles are very sore now because of the different terrain.  There is also a lot of leaping and jumping involved.

Miles 1-8:  After losing the foot pod my mental side of things kind of pooped out.  Around mile 6 my legs were burning on the up-hills.  This was also alarming but I knew I had to press on.

Miles 9-17:  This was basically the first climb up the first major hill.  It is a very steep and long hill that occasionally had ladders/stairs to get you up to other parts of the trails.  I was still in pretty good spirits though and I usually pass a lot of people going up because my walk is pretty fast.  The down hill sections are the ones were I usually get passed by others.  Once I got to the top of the first hill it was a relief but I knew that it was still only the beginning.

Here I am at the 27.2 mile aid station.  It took me 5 hours and 23 minutes to get there.  My wonderful wife met me with some water and socks.   I washed off my feet and changed socks.  What a refreshing feeling it was just to change my socks.  I had a blister developing on the ball of each foot at this point.  These blisters were not show stoppers by any means but they were still there.  At this point I told my wife that I was having a tough time with the run and that it was harder than last year.  It did feel good to be half-way finished but the long down-hill tromp took a tool on my legs.  The turns at the switch backs were really hard because you have to come to almost a stop to make the turn and that takes a lot of leg power when going down hill.

After a 3 or 4 minute rest, I am off again to tackle the second major climb of 8 miles.  The second climb is a bit shorter but also a bit steeper.  By the time I got to the top I was stumbling around a little. HAHAHAHA  Feeling a little fresher from my rest felt good mentally but I knew that the next 8 miles was going to hurt.  This section is also mostly exposed to the direct heat of the sun.  This complicated matters for my attitude.

Miles 27-37:  This was gruesome.  I inched my way up that gigantic hill running any flat or down hill portions.  This hill also contain lots of rocks which frustrated my ankles and hips.  When I got to the top one of the aid station volunteers was worried about me because I was stumbling and maybe swaying a little.  I told her that I was stumbling and that I planned to sit down for about 10 minutes to rejuvenate.  So I did just that.  At the top of the mountain I sat down and the aid station people when to work on me.  They sponge bathed my head, arms and legs.  Got my water bottles filled up with my calorie drink.  Got me some Mt. Dew to drink to get me pepped up right away.  They asked me questions to make certain that I was coherent and ready to run again.  After that I was off to tackle the most difficult section of the race in my opinion.  It is a steep 7 mile down hill on a gravel road.

Here are two photos of the view from climb #2.  That is Mt. Rainier with the snow on it.  Keep in mind that the trail that I was running on was basically a ski resort without the snow so that gives you a small glimpse of the steepness of the trails.  And believe me, running down the trails IS NOT EASIER than running up the trail.

This is just another view of the majestic wilderness of the Mt. Ranier National Forest.

My beautiful wife came to the race with me.  Boy she makes it so much more fun.  I love my wife so much and her presence at this race made so much difference to me.  You know when you are a kid and you hurt yourself out of the presence of your mom. You don’t cry at all but the moment that you see your mom you start to cry.  Well, that is exactly what I did.  After I finished the race my wife asked me how it was and I told her it was the hardest thing I had ever gone through and started to cry.  I held it in because so many people were around but if they weren’t I would have just balled right there in her lap.

Crossing the finish line was a major relief.  I thought probably 100’s of time that I just couldn’t make it but I did.  Races like these go much deeper mentally than shorter ones.  It was a very trying experience but I would certainly do it again.  When I finished, there were still about 90 people out on the course and about 50 of those would eventually finish.  The rest either did not make the 14 hour cut-off time or just had to stop running for whatever reason.  Whatever happens, everyone who gets to the starting line is a winner in my book.

Moments after the finish I took a much appreciated rest on my wife’s blanket to take in some hydration and watch others finish.  The after glow was nice and the amazement of the accomplishment was very heavy in this picture.

Running alone doesn’t keep the weight off!!

I know this might sound impossible but it is sooooo accurate.  Running/exercise will not keep you from gaining weight.  It can help you out a lot in the good fight for healthy but standing by itself it will not do it.  EATING! is the determining factor.  I mean you can gain, lose, or stay the same without exercise.  You might not be as healthy overall but your weight can be stablized or moved in the direction you desire.  Of course the best combination is using both exercise and proper eating to lose or maintain weight.  This is a hard lesson for me as a runner.  I dreamed of the possibility that running could offer me a carefree life regarding food and treats.  How far from reality my thinking was.

It is very easy to eat more than you burn while exercising.  Even after running 50 miles you can eat more calories than you burned even before you go to bed that night.  Here are some examples from real life calorie expenditures that I have experienced and what I could (and have) eat to still be able to gain.

• 6 miles @ 7:28 pace= 857 calories.  My normal is to eat 3 maple bars.  This adds up to 1,380 calories.  I actually do this too!!!
• Marathon @ 10:19 pace= 3,617 calories.  After this last marathon I ate: 32 oz of Mt. Dew @ 440 calories.  I then ate two sausages with buns: 1,100 calories.  I also had a two scoop ice cream cone at B&B: 565 calories.  So that is 2105 calories within about 2 hours of the marathon.  This does not include the 1,400 calories I ate during the marathon nor does it include my dinner and snacks later in the day.  So adding what I wrote up I have already consumed as many calories as I have burned just 2 hours after the race.

This are real life examples and it is here to prove to myself that eating is far more important in weight issues than is exercise for me.  I can do the exercise but I need to focus on proper eating again.  It is a myth that endurance  and vigorous exercise makes you hungry.  Good exercise actually supresses hunger.  It does not however supress the thoughts of entitlement to food though.  Hopefully you enjoyed a small journey into the depths of my life. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Another good marathon experience

My 16th marathon (The Foot Traffic Flat Marathon) went very well.  It was a hot day but it did not bother me at all.  It was a smooth and controlled effort which produced the desired training effect: Run 30 miles on tired legs that are not yet recovered from last weeks 36 miles.  I finished the marathon portion of my 30 mile run in 4:29 with negative splits meaning I did the second half faster than the first. The marathon was much larger than I thought it was going to be so it was festive and fun.  The course was very beautiful as is snaked through the farms of Sauvie Island.  All and all it was a great experience which helped increase my fitness for the 100 miler.

My next race will be on July 25th at the Crystal Mountain Ski Resort.  This will be a 50 mile trail run with around 17,000 ft of elevation change.  It is a tough race but it will also end up being a good experience regardless of how it goes.  The race is called the White River 50 Miler.

My first run since the race recovery

It felt so good to get back on the roads.  I took a decent amount of time off from running to recover from my 40 miler.  I am sure that I am not all the way recovered even now but I am good to go for easier running.  I was invigorated during my three mile jaunt around the lake.  I did the run at around an 8:55 pace.  It seems fast but for a three mile run, it is not really that fast.  For a 20 mile run that would be fast, but not for a three mile run.  I felt easy and relaxed throughout so I feel that it was within the limits of recovery.  I am not expert though but I do know how to listen to my own body when it comes to running.

Anyway,  just wanted you all to know that I am back in the game.  My new running schedule will be in my email box soon.  Who knows what is in store for the next four months.

3 days and counting. Ultra-marathon #5.

IT IS COMING!!!!  The strolling Jim 40 miler marks the celebration of my 2 year anniversary for running.  April 27, 2007 I started running at my gym with a long run of 2 miles at a 13:30 pace.  I tried to maintain a 10 minute mile that day but I just couldn’t do it.  NOW!!!  I am going to run 40 miles at that 10 minute pace.  During this past two years my life has shifted from barley believing that I could run a marathon to being blessed enough to be part of a group of runners takes up about 1/100th of a percent of the total population on earth.  Ultramarathoner.  Yes, that is what I am even if I don’t believe it my own mind, that is the fact.

Today I will run an easy 3 miles, another easy 3 miles tomorrow, and then take Friday off.  On Saturday morning at 7 a.m. I will listen for the conch shell to blow as I embark on a fantastic journey.  A journey of self-realization.  A journey of testing mind and body.  A journey of celebration and fun.  This 41.2 mile  journey will have approximately 62,000 foot strikes that will exert around 6,180 tons of force per foot by the time I finish.  Work work work fun fun fun!!

After the race I plan to indulge in the post-race southern barbecue.  Only a few hours later I will be at a remote location indulging once again with fine dining inside of a restaurant built inside of a 100 year old mill with the original wood flooring and machinery.  I will be sitting near the window looking out on a water fall that used to power the mill all the while rubbing my sore and restless legs.  HAHAHA

In the morning I will wake up, limp to the shower, and then take off with my wife, dad, and step-mom to the Jack Daniels Whisket Factory to take a tour.  Then it is on the plane to come home.

Tired! Tired! Tired!

I am tired.  My legs are tired and a bit sore and they have remained that way since Saturday.  It is not a big deal but my body is definitely talking to me.  Last night I did 14×400’s at 5K pace.  What a great workout it was and I hit my pace very well for each rep, but I was tired.  I made the best out of a bad running day.  I accomplished much with the workout.  However, there were no good feelings, no runner’s high, no euphoric revelations, no sun, no scenery…………..

I still finished it up though and that is where character building comes into a persons running program.  You make the best out of a bad running day.

I have also woke up late for the last two days now.  I hate it when I wake up late.  I pack a crappy unplanned lunch, hurry out the door, and just tend to have an overall unorganized work day.  I think my tiredness is normal and it is coming from the cumulative effects of my training over the last four months.  I had a very good 4 months of running and now it is time to taper off until the big race.  I am glad to be in taper mode and I will be taking today off completely even though I have an easy 6 miler on the schedule.  It won’t hurt me and I need the rest.  I just need it.  I know I need it and my body knows I need it.  Taking today off I have 4 more runs before the race.  A 6 mile tempo run, two easy 3 mile runs, and a 1o miler at race pace.  Then I will have 3 or 4 days off completely from exercise.

Here’s to getting some rest.  See you later.

Two big weeks of running before the taper to 40 mile ultra-marathon.

Goooooood morning everyone.  I wanted to share my running schedule with you all today.  I have two big weeks of running left before I begin my taper (reduction in milage).  Runners taper prior to a significant race so that their bodies can get fully recovered for the race effort.  Tapers last anywhere from 2-4 weeks.  The weeks just prior to the taper are usually the biggest running weeks.

As you know I will be doing the Strolling Jim 40 miler ultra-marathon in Wartrace, Tennessee.  You can see my on the entrants list.  Another cool thing is that an occasional reader of run4change will also be there doing the early start with me.  Although I am quite the introvert, it will be nice to meet him.  So for the next two weeks I am going to be pretty busy with my running.  I have some hill work, speed work, and some pretty long long runs coming up.  Here is the schedule.

Week 1

Mon & Tues & Sat:  Off  

Wed: 6 miles with 5 hill repeats @ 5k pace

Thurs: 6 miles easy

Fri:  6 mile tempo run with middle 3 miles @ 10k pace

Sun: 35 mile long run

Week 2 (The point of this hard week after a 35 mile long run is to give my body one last chance at learning how to run on very tired legs)

Mon & Tues:  Off

Wed: 6 miles with 6 hill repeats @ 5k pace

Thur:  6 miles easy

Fri:  6 miles with 12 x 400 track work at 5k pace and 1 min rest between repeats

Sat:  6 miles easy

Sun: 2o mile long run with last 10 at race pace

So there you have it.  This is what I will be doing in my final preparations for the Strolling Jim.  My goal is to break the 7 hour mark.  Last year I got 7:51 so this year I want at least a 6:59.  You get a different colored shirt for each hour category so I am hoping to get a red shirt this year.

My hardest workout EVER!!!!

This is the Strolling Jim 40 miler course profile

As you can see, my 40 miler ultra-marthon in May is going to have a lot of hills.  It is notorious for its hills actually.  So on to my hardest workout ever.  Last night I had on my running schedule a hill workout.  These workouts are done a 5K pace on a hill that is a half mile long.  The point is to run up hill for a half mile at 5K pace and then run back down the hill.  Repeat this 5 times and do some slow running afterwards and my 6 mile hill workout is finish. Well…………………

To my surprise, this workout kicked my butt royally.  My lungs were burning, my legs pretty much could not do anymore, and I almost puked.  It took more mental gusto to finish the 5 reps than it took me to finish the 50 miler that I did.  I got my first hill rep at pretty close to the right pace but the rest of them were one minute per mile slower.  I just could not do it.  I am not saying that I did not want to do it, I actually could not do it.  I am strong in the mental game and can really push myself but this was just impossible.  Even at one minute per mile slower I was having an extremely hard time about 3/4 up the hill.

I talked it over with my coach and he said that this was OK because I had never done this before and it was completely new to my body.  We shortened up the rep from 800 meters to 600 meters but are keeping the pace at my 5k speed.  That is going up a big hill at 6:33 miles.  I have another hill workout next week on Tuesday and I am hoping that it will be a little easier.  I am sure it will get easier as I get more experience in this type of training.

Also, last night my WW program went perfectly smooth.  No bumps and no problems.  I ate right on program.

Small glimpse of the Boston Marathon.

Hello everyone. I am out of town this weekend so I cannot post, approve comments, and reply to anyone. I thought I would schedule a couple of videos for today and tomorrow for you to enjoy. This video is from a running coach in my part of the country and it is about the Boston Marathon. It is a goal of mine to run in one someday. The Boston Marathon must be qualified for and for me to get in I would need to run a 3:10 marathon I think. That is a pace in the low 7 minutes per mile. Enjoy.