Posts Tagged ‘unhealthy eating

06
Jan
11

Weight watchers: if you blow it……..hold on cuz it might not be so bad

So yesterday I had a scare at work that basically through me (somewhat unknowingly) into myemotional eating persona. LOL.  It was stressful that’s for sure and the minute somebody asked me if I wanted some fast food I hoped right on that band wagon without a thought.  Then I felt guilty about it and ate a bunch of candy.  All in all I ate 91 WW points for the day.  It was a true blow up but I stopped it after the candy since I was actually pretty dang full of the yummy fatties.  I wasn’t going to count any of those points but today I decided it is what it is and I should count it.  I turned out that it was not such a horrible blow up after all.  Sure I emotionally ate which I don’t like to get into when I can help it but even after counting all 91 points I still have 13 weekly points left.  That was a huge relief and I could have enjoyed many more hours of “NON-GUILT” if I would have just counted it right away and known the truth.  So it was a good lesson RELEARNED!!!  If you blow it, just hold on, stop, and count the calories/points.  It is usually not as bad as you think it is.  It is the guilt that you let fester that kills you because you hop right back into that bad healthy cycle.

Today was a much better day for eating.  I also ran.  Yesterday I didn’t run because of the work emergency and the mass amount of food made me to full to run.  But I was back at it today.  It was a drizzling dark night tonight with heavy heavy fog.  The run was tough, I ran faster than I normally do and I just wasn’t in to it.  I didn’t enjoy it that much but sure was happy that I did it.  Here are a couple of pics from the run.

this is what my run looked like to me. it was actually pretty beautiful and neat

19
Mar
10

Do you remember???????????????

This is my journal which contains every step of my journey over the last 6 months. It's got pictures, song lyrics, in-depth reviews of my own emotions, and lots and lots of processing. The small book on top is my newest WW book without any stickers.

Today I am choosing to REMEMBER!  On my way to work I stopped to get my morning coffee (which I am going to hopefully stop soon) and the powerful urge to get a donut or a pepperoni hit me.  I have developed some bad habits in hermitville.  But today I remembered why I started this health journey.  I remembered how it makes me feel to eat donuts on the way to work in my car all by myself so nobody sees.  I remembered how proud I was of myself when I was eating better, not perfect, but better.  So today’s motto is REMEMBER WHY!

Here is why I first started and continue on my journey.

  • I was starting to breathe hard just getting out of bed.
  • I had a very hard time to get my shoes on.
  • I felt like shit about myself because I was not living according to the way I really wanted to.
  • Being overweight was like being in an emotional tumble drying, my mind constant knocked me around about it.
  • I lived more secretively because I was afraid to be honest about my eating.
  • I was more afraid of rejection and that caused a lot of the secretiveness which in turned only caused weight gain.
  • I wanted to feel good about the way I was living.
  • I wanted to run a marathon someday.
  • I wanted to be fit and healthy so that normal activities would be WAY easier.

So those are the things I am rememering today.  What is it that brought you to the starting line of your own journey?  Are they all physical things like skinny jeans, small shirts, flat stomach, etc?  Or were some of them emotional and mental things that brought you to toe the line for the first time or possibly again?

There is no shame at trying again.  There is honor in it though.  EVERYBODY who succeeds has had to try again.  Mess ups happen, it might be a little easier to get back on track if you remember why you wanted to start this journey in the first place.

19
Feb
10

Point of inspiration and rememberance.

Had a horrible day the other day.  It was just killing me how I have been eating, how I see my body, how I see my running, how I see myself in general.  Basically, had a bad day because of my self talk and just feeling bad for myself and so unconfident.  But……..I got an email from a good friend.  My good friend did not know I was basically in the pit of self hatred that day, but he was sensitive to it.  I can’t even express the importance of that email to me.  The only way I can explain it’s impact on me is LIFE CHANGING.  The email did not have any information that I don’t already know.  It did not have any secret to success.  It was just a PERFECTLY timed picture of my story injected into my life.  Basically, the jist of it was that he was telling a group of people about my journey from the start of WW all the way to DNF’ing at 63 miles in the 100 and through to present.  You see, my friend knows my “situation” in my personal life.  He knows that what I have accomplished during these dark days is nothing small.  So his email was a reminder to me.

It is so easy to forget what I have done.  That I have really done amazing things even for a person who has not lost 130 lbs.  He described the faces, the emotions, and the tears of the listeners of the real life story.  And by reading this, I was completely filled with life again.  It was like I was encased in this bubble or dark room but when I read the email I was removed from that fog and put into reality again.  I was humbled by the achievements that I had done.  I was appreciative of all the people who have helped and supported me along the way.  I was thankful for just not giving up on my own dreams while others were giving up on me.  I have a hard time, REALLY HARD TIME, having confidence these last three or four months.  I have been broken and forgot the stength that I really do have.  The ability to overcome.  I still struggle so much with loving myself, and accepting my body, and taking myself for who I am.  But yesterday I started out a fresh.  I ate perfectly.  I exercised well.  I thought well of myself.  Maybe………….I can start my new life on good terms with myself and achieve what I want for myself.  I want to achieve a healthy self respect.

29
Jan
10

getting close but feeling fat

Ok, I have been eating off of WW and kind of out of control for a while now.  My situation has proved to be more powerful than I thought as far as emotional eating goes.  I have really been doing bad in this area and I have realized that my feelings about myself really good down hill when I am not being good to myself by being healthy in general.  This sucks.  BUT…………..I am getting my goals reorganzied, writing them down, and starting to get more focus again.  It is sooooo hard.  It is one thing to be focused on healthy when you are doing well but when you are feeling bad about yourself it is not so easy you know.  But I shall start up again.  What else can I do.

The race is very close now.  I will leave in less than a week and toe the line in exactly 8 days.  I am nervous much because of my weight gain since my situation broke out and my life turned upside down.  However, I won’t give up.  Sure, my life is upside down and all around, but it is time to regain some momentum for health and being good to myself.  I will need to lose some significant weight.  And I will need to be patient with this.  I am hoping that participating in this 100 mile race will reignite my fire for life and health and weight management.

06
Jan
10

Two constant temptations coupled with two victories

I have fallen many times to the kind and gentle calling of the pepperoni. Even at 4:30 in the morning.

As you all know I love donuts and kept away from them for about 2 years. Now they have weasled their way back into my life. Here they are at my favorite morning coffe stop.

These pics show you my morning view of the two most tempting items in the entire Circle K store.  I have a deep deep love-hate relationship with these two things.  They are so tasty but really not that tasty.  They are filling but don’t satisfy.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  I think I just buy ’em, eat ’em, regret ’em in a mindless way.  Which is often the way I and others eat junk food.  We all know they don’t make us feel good emotionally or physically but we still think they will make us happy before we scarf them down.

Anyway, I figured I would take pics of them instead of eating them today so I got my “one step”, “one choice” victory today.  So far so good.  I will keep on keeping on with this.  Happy I did not do it.  Funny thing is, these are the two things I thought of first thing when I woke up today.  “MMMMMMMMMMMMM.  What can I get at circle K???”  It is sick I know but it is authentic.  You always get authentic with me.

Two temptations for the day conquered.

Click here if you want to subscribe to follow my progress.  AGAIN! 🙂

03
Sep
09

It can happen! Take a step back and reassess.

reality-check-ahead-signIt can happen to anyone!  Falling into old habits even after losing and keeping 130 lbs off.  In fact, it is pretty easy to fall back into the old ways.  Why is this??  Well, the old ways are the old ways for a reason and they are old because I did them for so long.  Truth be told, the old ways work for what they are used for.  Oh yeah, you heard me.  THere is no denying that eating junk food makes me feel better at the moment I want to feel better.  There is no denying that it tastes wonderful like a party in my mouth.  I just want to shed the false belief that using food for comfort and security does not work.  It does work and if it did not work we would never use food to comfort ourselves.  However, there is a downside as there always is for self-medicating with potentially harmful stuff whether it be food, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.  It brings guilt and shame and weight gain and bodily harm.

So at the practical and reality based advice of another great blogger on the journey, I took a step back to reassess my situation and take a reality check.  I took a step back to way the costs and rewards of my actions.  As  you know I have been on the wayward side of WW for a bit.  I am still right here at my WW goal weight but things have been getting increasingly unhealthy for me both mentally and physically.  Steve’s words yesterday hit me just how I needed it and brought about a major lifting of the veil over my eyes.  Now that he helped me see much more clearly, I am taking my reality check here on the blog.

What is my unhealthy eating doing for me?

Well, like I said, it is making me feel better about whatever I am feeling bad about for the moment.  This is true.  It is also making me feel worse in the long run and causing a great crop of negative thinking to sprout up.  Waying this cost is hard for me because I like the immediate benifit of feeling better and don’t particularly like the delayed gratification that denying myself the junk brings.  BUT, after long thought focused on Steve’s comment, the delayed gratification FAR OUT WEIGHS any other possible benifit that junk food can give.  So for today I feel strong and healthy and resolved with new passion for my health goals.

How is my fear of failure molding my situation?

I am scared to gain it all back.  Unfortunately, the way my little mind works is that when I fear failure I tend not to try as to make sure I don’t fail.  Now taking a step back on this one shows that this is crazy because it is self-fulfilling.  I am scared to fail so I fail on purpose and do the exact thing I am afraid of. HAHAHAHA  No more of this.  The reality in this is that I can’t fail if I just continue to do what I know how to do as far as healthy living goes.  It is a no-brainer really.  I know what to do and that is to keep my eyes on the prize, don’t let go of it, and then make nice little decisions throughout everyday to ensure a victory.  This is not easy at all because the fear is still there but the fear is not as powerful as the full life that can be lived in health.  Self-sabotage many call it.

My addictive side?????

My addictive side grabs hold of that which makes me feel better.  This side of me will barely let go of the medicine.  So when I eat two candy bars with wonderful peanut butter and sugar inside, I feel better for the moment, then my addictive side says, “Oh hell yeah that felt good.  What is wrong with wonderfulness.  Lets keep doing this.”  Contrary to much popular advice that I recieve here and away, small dabbles in such wonderfulness are not a livable scenario for me.  I am often told it is MORE of a lifestyle when I allow this stuff into my life as it is less rigid but I just can’t live that way.  I know myself and taking this reality check helps me to realize that abstinence is the best way to go for several foods in this world.

Negative thinking?

I can get seriously deep into some negative thinking about myself and my journey.  So negative in fact that I can completely forget a good thing that I just accomplished.  This is crazy but it is a reality so why should I deny myself the knowledge of the truth or the opportunity to talk about it.  I can pick out one negative thing out of a sea of positive.  It can be a beautiful day out but I will see a cloud the size of a man’s hand 100 miles away.  HAHAHAHA  I am going to work on this.  WW is not really that hard and it is certainly not impossible.  What is hard is staying on track while I am off track.  The contrary actions.  The lying to myself that I am doing it when I am not doing it.  What the hell!  If I am not doing it I am just going to say to myself I am not doing it and then get back on track.

07
Aug
09

What happened yesterday

SteakAs most of you know I was a little down in my mood yesterday.  I was worried that it would throw me off of my good string of WW days and kill the positive momentum that I was having.  Well, I did not do perfect but I think I still have a good chance of losing at the next WW weigh-in.  Here is everything I put into my mouth yesterday from morning until night.

 

 

 

 

 

Coffee

Cottage cheese

2 WW frozen dinners

Banana

Nectarine

Alternative bagel

WW cream cheese

Turkey

Popcorn

Fruit cup

Oatmeal Carrots

Hot dog

3 Tootsie pops (bad choice)

12 ounces of LEAN tenderloin (should have had less)

Veggies

2 hot dog buns

1 herbalife shake

All of this food added up to 51 points for the entire day.  I am not too entirely happy about the amount of points but it could have been FAR worse.  I dipped into my 35 weeklies and that is just fine.  So far since my weigh-in I have eaten

All my daily points

16 of my weekly flex points

I have earned 16 activity points

I plan to eat all of my weekly flex points and leave most of my activity points alone.  I will get a lot of AP’s this weekend as I will be running 46 miles.  This should give me around 50 AP’s.  I will eat some but certainly not most of them.  I would like to have around 30 AP’s left by next Wednesday’s weigh-in so that I can have at least one pounds worth of calorie deficit.

I am having serious doubts that I can lose the 15 pounds that I want to.  I don’t know why the switch in my mind got tripped and now I think it is hard to lose.  I have always thought it was hard to maintain but have also felt that losing was easy.  I hope all goes as planned.  I may not weigh-in on Wednesday since it will be after a marathon but I will definitely go to the meeting.

05
Aug
09

WW update: I am feeling much better for now.

001Since Monday, I have been doing very well on WW.  I have been feeling much better physically and emotionally.  I am feeling so depressed as I was and my eating seems to be WAY more under control now.  I will still need to go to the grocery store tonight in order to keep prepared and organized, but so far I have done well.  I am currently in a points deficit for the week.  I have not really messed up at all and I have actually counted and eaten my points properly.  I have been taking notes and counting my points  in an actually notebook since Monday too.  I decided upon the suggestion of others on the journey to give it a shot.  It is a little more real than just enterting the info. into the computer at the WW site.  I like it and hope to be able to keep at it like this.  My food choices have been good ones too.  I have not stopped at the gas station for pepperoni or chips or donuts for a little bit now, this feels tremendously good.  I think I might be on my way to developing the good habits again and doing away with the old bad ones that crept up again.

10
Jul
09

Being honest about yourself.

honest-beggarI need to be honest about who I am.  This is basic stuff that is easily forgotten.  I can try and convince myself that I am like someone else or that I have more “will power” than I actually do or that I am in perfect control but this gets me nowhere.  Being honest with myself will get me “somewhere” much closer to where I am trying to go.  This post is a spin off of yesterdays post. 

Let me give you a “word picture” of what it looks like when I am NOT honest with myself.  In my mind I start to think that I can do what I want with minimal consequences.  I mean shoot, lots of other people do it.  I say people eat whatever they want and stay think all the time and since I am NOW thin I can do the same.  I run a lot too so I have even more fudge room.  Anyway, so I start doing this and it works out for a little bit.  I start to become confident in my bodies ability fight off fat and not gain.  A week or two goes by and I have a gain but I blame it on a marathon or a long run.  This allows me to remain dishonest with my true personality.

Now let me give you what it looks like when I AM honest with myself.  I count what I eat because I know that weight loss, maintenance, and gain are all just dictated by a basic formula.  I even count the points that I eat during long runs and keep counting my points for the rest of the day after a maraton.  I may go a little hog wild but the next meal is right on track.  I never weigh myself because I can look at my numbers and know how I am doing because I have been honest with what I have consumed and burned.  I realize that it is not complicated to keep it off as long as I stay away from the junk that send me into the deep end.  To this end, I stay away from those things regardless of what I want or how much activity I have done.

Are you honest with yourself or do you believe your own little deceptions.  I believe the heck out of myself I tell ya.  Here are some basic statements that bring me back to reality.

  • I am pre-disposed to being addictive with food that have a high abuse potential.
  • I try and feel better by eating these foods but don’t end up accomplishing it.
  • I am a happier person when I am more rigid and experience success.
  • Junk food develops an addictive cycle in my life.
  • I need scheduled and organized grocery shopping outings.
  • I love to eat large quantities so I need to eat really healthy stuff so that I can.  Junky food or not, I am going to eat larger amounts.  I like bulk.
  • I never really missed the junk food that I am eating now when I was not eating it.  I wanted it in the “bad” moments but 15 minutes later the temptation was gone.

What about you guys?  Do you know yourself as a person and develop your eating and healthy living routine around the truth?

09
Jul
09

Running alone doesn’t keep the weight off!!

lisa_english_bulldog_running_123rfI know this might sound impossible but it is sooooo accurate.  Running/exercise will not keep you from gaining weight.  It can help you out a lot in the good fight for healthy but standing by itself it will not do it.  EATING! is the determining factor.  I mean you can gain, lose, or stay the same without exercise.  You might not be as healthy overall but your weight can be stablized or moved in the direction you desire.  Of course the best combination is using both exercise and proper eating to lose or maintain weight.  This is a hard lesson for me as a runner.  I dreamed of the possibility that running could offer me a carefree life regarding food and treats.  How far from reality my thinking was.

It is very easy to eat more than you burn while exercising.  Even after running 50 miles you can eat more calories than you burned even before you go to bed that night.  Here are some examples from real life calorie expenditures that I have experienced and what I could (and have) eat to still be able to gain.

  • 6 miles @ 7:28 pace= 857 calories.  My normal is to eat 3 maple bars.  This adds up to 1,380 calories.  I actually do this too!!!
  • Marathon @ 10:19 pace= 3,617 calories.  After this last marathon I ate: 32 oz of Mt. Dew @ 440 calories.  I then ate two sausages with buns: 1,100 calories.  I also had a two scoop ice cream cone at B&B: 565 calories.  So that is 2105 calories within about 2 hours of the marathon.  This does not include the 1,400 calories I ate during the marathon nor does it include my dinner and snacks later in the day.  So adding what I wrote up I have already consumed as many calories as I have burned just 2 hours after the race.

This are real life examples and it is here to prove to myself that eating is far more important in weight issues than is exercise for me.  I can do the exercise but I need to focus on proper eating again.  It is a myth that endurance  and vigorous exercise makes you hungry.  Good exercise actually supresses hunger.  It does not however supress the thoughts of entitlement to food though.  Hopefully you enjoyed a small journey into the depths of my life. HAHAHAHAHAHA

13
May
09

My weight watchers weigh-in results. Who would have known!

SJ40 me running

Here I am around the 20 mile mark of the Strolling Jim 40 Miler

I had my weigh-in last night.  I was figuring that I would gain 5 pounds and I was actually ok with that.  I skipped last week because I have always gained after a big race but I normally don’t keep the post race eating spree going for another week.  This time I kept it going my friends.  I kept my bad eating going from Sunday May 3rd to Tuesday May12th.  I am not proud of this but I wanted to tell you all the bare bones truth.  For this reason, I was expecting a gain but I was just going to take it for what it was.

How did I do you may be asking yourself.  WELL, I WEIGHED IN AT 183.4 LBS.  That means I stayed exactly the same weight.  I did not lose an ounce nor gain an ounce.  What an amazing thing this is.  I am so happy about it but I am not allowing this to proof that I can eat whatever and not gain weight.  My body is stabilizing at it’s happy weight but I know that I can make that weight go up in no time if I don’t care about what I eat.  So the eating spree is over for now.  I am back on WW track today and feel really good about that.

MY EATING SPREE’S.  NOW AND IN THE PAST.

One thing that I think might be the reason for why I did not gain is my perception of what an eating spree is.  Sure, these last two weeks have pretty much been off program but not in the same way as “off program” before WW.  Before WW, “off program” would have been a 3 foot log of summer sausage and half a pound of cheese each week.  It would have been a whole large pizza twice a week.  It would have been fried food after work but before dinner everyday.  It would have been a huge lunch out.  Now my “off program” is to eat pretty much on WW all day long and ate night I go off of program.  “Off program” now means that I might eat a small bag of chips on the way home from work before I work in the yard but I skip dinner because I am working.  It means that I go out to eat but don’t count my points but actually end up eating the salmon with veggies and might even have some of the bread.  It means that I snack on some crackers and eat several bites of my wife’s cake.  It means that I eat the more calorie packed subway sandwich instead of the loads of fried food.  I guess what I am trying to say but not justify, is that now when I go off program I am still eating a million times better as compared to when I was NEVER on program.

Does that make any sense.

08
May
09

Ultra-marathon and southern food!!

dscn2344

Well here I am a little more than 20 miles into the Strolling Jim 40 miler.  Relaxed, happy, and full of energy. HAHAHA  My wife took this picture as she drove away from giving me some of my Hammer Nutrition Perpetuem.  At this point in the race I was of course actually feeling a bit tired.  Five miles more though and I hit a serious second wind and took right off.  This is a good example of the scenery that I ran in too.

dscn2368 

After the race I ate the traditional barbecued chicken lunch with coke, but a couple hours after that we went to the historic bell buckle cafe.  Bell Buckle is the birth place of the Moon Pie and RC Cola.  It is also home to a fantastic cafe with real southern cooking.  Southern is short hand for deep fried and tasty fatty yumminess. HAHAHA  I had pulled pork, fried corn bread, blue berry salad that was actually a cobbler thing, fries,  and something else that I can’t remember.  The picture is of my wife’s food.  It was great.

24
Apr
09

Will I ever be “normal”? Maybe not with food!

I guess in some ways I am normal but not in the area of food.  I just have not been doing good on WW lately.  I have been maintaining (SO FAR) but I have not been eating good foods at night really.  I have seemed to lose my routine a little bit.  I ate horribly yesterday and I ate things that I have not eaten for years.  I don’t know why I did it.  I know I don’t want to eat like that but at the same time I do.  Here is what I ate yesterday after work and I am scared to admit it even but I am going to do it anyway.  Maybe it will help someone out there and at the least maybe it will help me. Continue reading ‘Will I ever be “normal”? Maybe not with food!’

23
Apr
09

Gotta love cheeks! My lunch treat for the day

I was extra hungry today since I woke up late and did not have a good lunch to bring.  I has pretty much eaten all of my days worth of food by 9:30 am.  What was I to do.  Well, I walk outside to a truck with a hand written sign that says:

Cachetes, Pollo, Azada, Chuleta, y Tripas.

Well, I got the cachetes.  That is, I got the beef cheek tacos, two of them in fact.  I love beef cheeks and it is not a normal food for most of us but I have always liked them.  They are very similar to a slow cooked pot roast that just falls apart with tenderness.  These tacos were very yummy.  I counted them as 4 points each.  Probably not accurate but I had to make a guess.  Here is the picture of the Cachete Taco

beef cheek taco

13
Apr
09

If hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer!!!

pizza-001Kick me when I’m down gosh darnit.  I am trying to kind of start over today with eating right and counting.  I am on the verge of the negative guilt cycle but not there yet.  Then, two giant beautifully yummy pizzas are brought to me and my boss as a business gift.  I take one pizza in hand to deliver it myself to the ladies in the front office.  I really felt like I got kicked in the nads.  I am just going to list a couple of the ways I was feeling.

 

  • I felt like I couldn’t be a normal person and indulge.
  • I was mad that it is not healthy to just chow down.
  • I was sad that I chose to miss out on the pizza.
  • Why? Why? Why?

So I walked back to my office thinking of the title to this post.  If hunger is not the problem then food is not my answer.  I told myself that I am strong and healthy.  I told myself that I am not more of a complete person just because I eat pizza.  I am no less of a person if I chose not too eat it either.  I tried talking myself into believing that pizza doesn’t really matter to me and that food temptation usually only lasts around 5 minutes.  It was not the taste I was wanting, it was not the fullness that I wanted, it was the emotional feeling of being a normal person that I wanted.

Freakin A.  I am a normal person. HAHAHA  Only now I am a healthy normal person.  I don’t have to drown out feelings of insecurity or inferiority with food.  Screw that.  I will walk on and be strong.  I will not eat the pizza.  I will stay within my points which is designed to keep me satisfied for the day.  I know my points allowance for the day is enough.  One piece of pizza right now would put me at zero points for dinner.  I don’t want just veggies for dinner.  I want a real dinner and a real dinner I will have because I am going to make the healthy choice.  In fact, I already have.  I don’t have my camera to take a pic but I wish I did.  They cut the piece extra huge and the first thing I thought of was that I could count it as one piece even though it is big enough to be two.

See you later.

13
Apr
09

I am starting to see a pattern here!

Caped MaxRUNNING = EATING. 

That is the pattern.  Since my 35 miler, I have not been doing well on weight watchers.  That would be two weeks of not doing good on weight watchers.  This is a dang pattern.  The more I run the worse I eat.  I truly don’t believe that my body “NEEDS” a lot of extra food and especially bad food, but I think it is me telling myself, “Oh I can have this because I bet the running will make up for it”.  I hate this pattern.  I am scared of this pattern.  It is true, the last two weeks have been very big running weeks for me but that does not mean it is time to just eat whatever.  I still think that I might be ok at my Tuesday night weigh-in but I am not sure nor am I confident about it.

Nights and weekends

I have really had to make a conscious effort to count my points at night and on weekends lately.  Sometimes I do ok and other times I don’t count at all and just end up “estimating”.  I don’t like this at all.  I don’t like feeling a little out of control with the food.

Groceries and Organization

One of the biggest reasons for the struggle lately is that fact that I have not taken care of myself in the area of preparation with groceries.  As you know I have been busy working in the yard and running so I have not been to the grocery store for a long time now.  I went yesterday and stocked up on lots of good healthy foods.  I also came home right away and prepared a good portion of my daily lunches for the week.  This should help me get back on track with my points and monitoring.

Do you make the excuse to eat more or badly because you had a big exercise day?

Do you have a hard time with counting points/calories at night and on weekends?

Does grocery shopping and planning help you succeed?

10
Apr
09

Not secret, not hidden, not fun!!!!!!!!!!

maple-bar-1

I experienced weight loss, health, weight maintenance insanity last night.  What I experienced really put the “fat mind” right into the spot light.  The thinking pattern was totally exposed and it was the pattern of an addict’s thinking.  It truly was sick I think.  I felt ashamed, amused, and freaked out all at the same time.  Not only did this happen, but it happen WITH someone else.  That is where it all started………. Continue reading ‘Not secret, not hidden, not fun!!!!!!!!!!’

07
Apr
09

Bit of a struggle on WW.

Caped MaxI have been having a hard time with my eating since Saturday.  I know it is because in my mind I have given myself permission in a way because of the 35 mile long run that I did.  However, this is no excuse for not counting or eating healthy.  I count really good all day until I get home.  When I get home I jump right into working and don’t eat anything.  Then, around 8 o’clock I eat.  I have been eating my kind of regular dinner stuff but also snacking on junky stuff too.  I have my weigh-in tonight and am not thinking that it is going to go very well. 

I am also going to where jeans at my weigh-in for the first time since I started Weight Watchers.  This freaks me out but I figure it is about time I stop worrying about what clothes I wear to my meeting.  Anyways, chocolate coverd peanuts have been the evil predetor to my healthy efforts these last couple of days.

06
Apr
09

Weight watchers and running weekend recap.

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill

I did not eat on program this weekend at all.  I did do my run though.  I am hoping that my run cancels out my bad eating for the last two days.  The past week at work has been stressful to the max and it really took a tool on me.  I was also stressed out about things I wanted to get done at home but felt that I did not have enough time to do them.

Now to the long run.  I had to go into work on Sunday which sucked but at least I just had to show up and open the building.  Then I got to take off on my run while stuff was getting done.  I ran 35 miles on Sunday.  It was not easy to do this run.  I woke up Sunday morning with sore legs and back from working in the fire pit for the last couple of days.  My legs were tired from the very start of the run.  I never gave up though and the run took me around 5 hrs and 45 minutes to finish.  I was happy with that.  Since I was running in the town were my work is I had to do a lot of repetitive loops and that made the run pretty difficult mentally.  It was not easy to keep passing up my truck and not just call it a day.  My foot gave me no problems either.  Overall it was a true ultra-running experience laden with lots of physical and mental challenges.

The day before I ate bad with the excuse that I was going to burn it all off in my long run the next day.  So what did I eat?  I went to my old evil stand by of some donuts and I also ate a fast food bacon cheeseburger.  I have not had one of those for about 2 years.  It hurt my stomach a lot once I was finish and it was kind of disappointing in the end.  Before my long run I ate 1 banana and some coffee.  That is all I ate until about 3:30 Sunday afternoon.  As soon as the run was over I went home and mowed the lawn and sprayed for weeds so I never really wanted to eat anything because I was focused on getting a job done that really really needed to be done.  When I finally did eat, I had Caesar salad, two bread sticks, a small cup of chili, one cornbread muffin, macaroni and cheese, and a bowl of ice cream with nuts on it.  Later Sunday night I had pizza and chocolate covered peanuts for dinner.  That was it for the day as far as eating went.

I slept like a baby.  I am a little sore today but not really to bad at all.  Hopefully I won’t be more sore tomorrow.  I am usually the most sore on day two after a hard workout.

25
Mar
09

Weigh-in results and Biggest loser talk. Biggest loser top pics.

weigh-in-002Bwaaaaa hahahahaha!!  OOOHh oh hohoh heheheheh!  I can’t believe it.  I stayed exactly the same.  184.4 pounds on the WW scale.  What a freakin relief.  Although I was ready for any type of result, I was so happy to see that no gain had occurred over this last two weeks of weight watchers mania.  Since last Tuesday, I have been very very naughty.  I did great for 4 days and did horribly for 3 days.  That usually does not add up to a good weigh-in. 

Last Tuesday my fat mind went on auto-pilot and I ate 4 donuts, 3 peperoni’s, and a bag of chips before dinner.  I skipped my meeting on that day.  Bad idea I guess.  So I got back on track but had to go to Sunriver, Oregon for my mom’s B-day over the weekend.  My stupid WW points calculator broke down and went kuput!!  I just gave up on counting points for the rest of the weekend.  I went skiing.  At the lodge I ate the “NACHOS GRANDE” and it probably weighed like 3 pounds.  It was huuuuuge.  I almost finished it all.  I got home from skiing and ran my booty off with a full stomach for 7.5 miles or so.  Then I ate dinner and topped it off with large amounts of chips, cookies and strawberry shortcake.  Now you can see why I feel that this is a miracle of God to stay the same.  I did good on Monday and Tuesday without my points calculator.  I just did core for those two days.  Not proud of my giving up.  I guess my running save me by the skin of my chinny chin chin.  At my meetings I bought a new points calculator and a points clicker.  I am back running smooth on program now.  Feels good to be home because on program now feels like home to me. 

BIGGEST LOSER TALK TIME

the-biggest-loserLast night’s show was somewhat unemotional for me.  Just was not moved by it like I normally am.  I think it is Tara.  Although she is a fighter and a woman of strength, I just can’t stand her attitude sometimes.  She is so competitive that she tends to talk bad about other contestants and she has no respect for her teammate.  This disappoints me and I was upset that she won the challenge.  I just didn’t want the mean person to win and she is the mean person on the show right now in my opinion.  Everyone on the show is really starting to show results now.  It is funny how at some point in the show they just tend to have a vastly different physical appearance.  It all happens at once it seems like.

As far as who got voted off, I think I would have voted Philpe off.  I love that dude too but he is more of a threat but it appears that he has some “issues” at home that we don’t know about considering what his cousin said while he was begging to keep him on the ranch.  Aubrey has her work cut out for her to be sure but she will make it to her goal regardless.

Who do I want to win the show?

I have two favorites on the show.  I would love either of them to win.  They are Kristen (the girl who has now lost 105 lbs) and Mike.  These two display the utmost courage and compassion.  They seem to have their hearts in the right place and that is why I want them to win.

Who do you guys want to see win?