Posts Tagged ‘weight watchers



09
Jan
10

Strong 6……8……..?………?

Since my last post I have had two good runs.  They were solid easy runs where I did not push the pace at all.  This week is very much about time on my feet.  This week as all about endurance really.  My entire weekend will be eaten up with running and work.  No time for fun this weekend.  Just run, eat, sleep………………..

So on Thursday I did 6 miles slow.  That run went pretty well and I felt good about completing a run.  Then on Friday I did an 8 miler.  This run also went very well but noticed some stiffness in my knee.  It was not really alarming but I will keep and eye on it.  It was kind of a bummer because it was like 38 degrees and pouring down rain for the whole run.  No optimal weather for running but certainly far easier for me than running in Hawaii.  So what is coming up today and tomorrow.  Today I am at work so will have to freaking do my long run aftwards which I have found to be very taxing to my ming and body.  I will be running 20 miles today after work.  Then, I will be getting home pretty late from that run to basically just go to sleep.  Early the next morning I will procedd to embark on another 40 mile long run.  This is really the main goal run for the week.  It is the most important single run to do but the entire 60 miles in the 30 hour period is the training effect I think I am going for.

I am going to change things up on this run.  I am going to try and eat more during the run.  I normally eat around 300 calories per hour while running and I am burning around 800 per hour.  This 40 miler I am going to try and eat some other types of food and more of my liquid drink.  I hope to crank it up so that I can see if I can handle eating more than 300 calories per hour.  This will help a lot during the 100 miler.

As far as my feelings are going, I think that my situation has changed.  I feel a bit more secure with my decisions to live healthy within my emotional and mental world.  I have decided not to let my situation hurt me anymore.  I have made my decision as to what I am going to do in it and it will most certainly be for the better without any doubt in my mind.  So I am happy for this new direction.  Very relieved.

On the weight watchers front, my sister has kindly invited me to get back on track and take me shopping for my weeks of groceries.  I have not felt up to this for at least a month and probably longer.  I haven’t even been to WW for at least one month.  Maybe like 5 weeks.  I just could not muster up the strength to go because this shit that is going on just takes to much out of me.  So on Sunday I will go shopping with my wonderful sister and she is going to make some chicken and tilapia while I am running that I will eat throughout the week.  I hope that this little kick start will help me get on track.

07
Jan
10

Totally bummed but keeping on.

Shooting very sharp pain stabbed me right in the mid-left back last night during my run.  I was kicking butt on my 6 mile speed work run but at the 3.5 mile mark I was stopped dead in my tracks.   I had to walk home.  I think it was a cramp or something.  Not an injury I don’t think.  I felt so out of shape and fat and discouraged after that.  I normally don’t have two runs that I cannot complete in the same week time frame but this week I did.   Me long run of 35 miles last Sunday was not completed nor was my full 6 miler.  This is ok in the long run of my journey but it still stings the esteem a bit.

I also had this horrible dream about the 100 miler that I will be doing.  I scared the heck out of my.  I think a nice dream about the end of the world or some evil thing chasing me would have been better.  In my dream I started out at an 8 min. pace for the first ten miles.  Got totally exhausted, fell asleep in some thatch roofed hut, got up to finish the race and collapsed at the 30 mile mark.  Woke up feeling like poooo after that.

I move on from all of this though.  Keeping things in perspective helps.  I can run 20 miles without any soreness or hardship.  Even 40 miles is not so bad anymore.  I am actually in good shape even if my feable mind can’t see it for the time being.  My eating is improving a lot.  I also discovered AGAIN that eating in my truck is VERY VERY EVIL.  HAHAHAHA  Can’t do it and be successful.  “Auto” eating is not good for me.

06
Jan
10

Two constant temptations coupled with two victories

I have fallen many times to the kind and gentle calling of the pepperoni. Even at 4:30 in the morning.

As you all know I love donuts and kept away from them for about 2 years. Now they have weasled their way back into my life. Here they are at my favorite morning coffe stop.

These pics show you my morning view of the two most tempting items in the entire Circle K store.  I have a deep deep love-hate relationship with these two things.  They are so tasty but really not that tasty.  They are filling but don’t satisfy.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  I think I just buy ’em, eat ’em, regret ’em in a mindless way.  Which is often the way I and others eat junk food.  We all know they don’t make us feel good emotionally or physically but we still think they will make us happy before we scarf them down.

Anyway, I figured I would take pics of them instead of eating them today so I got my “one step”, “one choice” victory today.  So far so good.  I will keep on keeping on with this.  Happy I did not do it.  Funny thing is, these are the two things I thought of first thing when I woke up today.  “MMMMMMMMMMMMM.  What can I get at circle K???”  It is sick I know but it is authentic.  You always get authentic with me.

Two temptations for the day conquered.

Click here if you want to subscribe to follow my progress.  AGAIN! 🙂

17
Sep
09

Wonderful way to do speed

I had a speed workout planned for the track today.  I did not want to do it at all.  Not so much the running but the track.  I just did not feel like running on a track today.  It gagged me actually.  The track seemed so repetitive and boring.  This is not normally how I fell at all.  But does this have to stop a person from doing a track/speed workout.  NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What did I do instead???????????

I actually did my exact track workout on the road.  This is possible because of my little friend Garmin 405.  You can also do it with another little friend called Polar Watch.  By using one of these friends, you can monitor your distance, interval time, lap time, and current pace.  So I did just that.  I had to do 12×400 at my 5k pace which is 6:08.  So I went out during my lunch break and did a nice warm up before diving into some hard running.  I did 1:30 minutes of my 5k pace and then I walked for one minute.  1:30 minute run and 1:00 minute walk.  That is what I did for 12 reps each.  Now the relevance of 1:30 is that at my 6:08 pace that would mean I would have run about 400 meters (1/4 mile) in that time.  It was a joyful time and I felt extra smooth today.  I focused heavily on what it “felt”  like to run this pace.  The sound of my feet and their rythm.  The sound of my breathe and it’s ability to mold into the rythm of the feet.  The sound of the wind.  The way my muscles felt when they contracted.  The way my shoes felt on my feet.  The way my arms moved.  Anyway,  I think you get the point.

I also had a great eating day yesterday and am doing very well today too.  I have once again took up the purpose of quitting the chewing tobacco.  This is going as good as I can expect it to be going.  Only one day so far.  AGAIN!  🙂

15
Sep
09

Emotions got the best of me

emotional-eatingYesterday I let my emotions get the best of me as far as eating goes.  I did not really eat a bunch of junk food like pepperoni or candy but I did eat a lot of stuff high in points.  My wife even mentioned it and that kind of made me want to eat more actually.  Mainly I ate croissants.  Four of them actually.  With ham and cheese. 

That was yesterday though and today is a different day.  Can’t do much about yesterday can I.  Can’t change a darn thing.  However, today will become yesterday pretty soon so I better make the changes now so that I won’t have to want to make changes to my yesterday again.    Sounds funny and circular, but it is true. 

My legs are a bit sore today but not to bad at all.  I will do an easy run on Wednesday to start out this weeks exercise.  Not particularly looking forward to it at the  moment.  Feels good to rest for a bit.  I bet though, that by tomorrow I will be ready to role again.

04
Sep
09

Food, run, and fun. Yesterday

tetherow6I had a pretty full day yesterday.  My work was very busy and I went golfing aftward.  I got home around 8:30 which is getting very late for me as this should be my bedtime.  Over all though it was a good day.  My mental and emotional side was pretty good, WW went good, and I did great golfing too.

FOOD

My food was right on yesterday.  I did good and that felt good.  I was relieved to be able to have a great day of healthy eating.  Although I know how to do it I was afraid that I wouldn’t do it.  My resolve and appreciation for the health/weight loss journey was pretty strong.  Another big victory is that I did not eat junk even though I went golfing.  I tend to eat junk when I go golfing because afterward I am alone and in my car (my secret eating place) while at the same time soooooo hungry because of not eating for many hours.  This time, on the way to the golf course I bought two bananas that were not totally ripe which for some reason makes me feel more full than the totally ripe ones.  I ate one at the start of my round and I ate another right when I got done.  This held me over until I got home for dinner where I had an 8 point meal.

RUN

Yesterday my running schedule called for an easy 6 miler.  I knew work was going to be busy so I split the run up into two 3 mile runs.  I did three miles at lunch and three miles just at the end of the day before work was over.  I have a one hour period where the main production is finished but I am just waiting for people to finish up.  This is when I did my second run.  I did this easy run at about 8:30-40 minute miles.  My left hamstring was tender still from the speedwork on Wednesday but it faired well for the 6 miles.  The two runs were actually very nice.  During the run the highschool cross-country team in my workplace town was also running my same route so I got to run in their midst.  That was kind of neat I thouth.

FUN

My fun for the day was golf.  Of course fun is a very subjective determination.  I could have told you that I hated it at least two times during my 18 hole round.  Overall I did pretty good with a score of 86.  I was pleased with this score and with most of my shots.  It is such a difficult game to be good at.

Also on the menu for fun is a mini-vacation this weekend for me and my wife.  I will have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off which will feel like a one month vacation.  I am sure some of you can relate.  During the three days I have planned several things for Audrey and I to do together.  Saturday we will both get massages in the morning and then head off to the town we are staying in for shopping and exploring.  That evening Audrey will take a golf clinic as a complete first time golfer.  I am excited about this and hope she likes it.  If she doesn’t that is ok too though.  After the clinic we might hit some balls together and then have some kind of special dinner.  On Sunday I have 18 holes of golf first thing in the morning to give my wife some relaxing alone time for reading or whatever.  Then I scheduled a pedicure and manicure for her back-to-back so she will be getting done about when I get done.  She will be able to spend time at the spa in the hot-tub, steam room, etc. if she wants to.  Then at that evening I have golf planned as the last group of the day so we will not have any pressure from groups behind us.  This should make it more enjoyable for my beautiful wife and hopefully introduce the game in a more pleasant way.  Monday is totally open for sleeping in, talking, and relaxing.

03
Sep
09

In case you missed this great comment!

Steve at LogMyLoss has been commenting and visiting the blog for a long time now.  He is a real trooper and encourages me in a real way.  I really appreciate this.  This comment totally helped me out.  In fact, I almost felt set free the moment I finished reading it.  It is what I have been waiting, wanting, and needing to hear.  I just didn’t really know it at the time.  I guess that is what self-deception and blindness will do to ya.  I asked him if I could share his comment as a post and he said that would be fine.  Read it, absorb it, live it.

Jason, like the others, I am tremendously impressed with your running. I have to admit though, I am concerned for you. There was a time several months ago where I warned you about letting yourself slip back into your old ways. If memory serves me right, you assured me that would never happen. I honestly feel like you have a better grasp on this situation than you are indicating. I don’t know why I believe that way, but I do. The thing is, you gotta draw that line in the sand. From what I can tell, you are where you need to be with your weight. If not, you are very, very close. That means you don’t have to be as strict any more. However, it also means that you cannot let yourself fall back into the habits of yesteryear. Let me repeat that – you CANNOT let yourself fall back into the habits of yesteryear. Jason, if my comment is out of line, please forgive me. I believe in you. You have had an incredible journey. You have affected many other people’s lives. You have greatly increased your capacity to live and to enjoy life. There is no reason to ever look back. Fix your eyes back upon the goal, and leave those bad habits behind forever.

03
Sep
09

It can happen! Take a step back and reassess.

reality-check-ahead-signIt can happen to anyone!  Falling into old habits even after losing and keeping 130 lbs off.  In fact, it is pretty easy to fall back into the old ways.  Why is this??  Well, the old ways are the old ways for a reason and they are old because I did them for so long.  Truth be told, the old ways work for what they are used for.  Oh yeah, you heard me.  THere is no denying that eating junk food makes me feel better at the moment I want to feel better.  There is no denying that it tastes wonderful like a party in my mouth.  I just want to shed the false belief that using food for comfort and security does not work.  It does work and if it did not work we would never use food to comfort ourselves.  However, there is a downside as there always is for self-medicating with potentially harmful stuff whether it be food, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.  It brings guilt and shame and weight gain and bodily harm.

So at the practical and reality based advice of another great blogger on the journey, I took a step back to reassess my situation and take a reality check.  I took a step back to way the costs and rewards of my actions.  As  you know I have been on the wayward side of WW for a bit.  I am still right here at my WW goal weight but things have been getting increasingly unhealthy for me both mentally and physically.  Steve’s words yesterday hit me just how I needed it and brought about a major lifting of the veil over my eyes.  Now that he helped me see much more clearly, I am taking my reality check here on the blog.

What is my unhealthy eating doing for me?

Well, like I said, it is making me feel better about whatever I am feeling bad about for the moment.  This is true.  It is also making me feel worse in the long run and causing a great crop of negative thinking to sprout up.  Waying this cost is hard for me because I like the immediate benifit of feeling better and don’t particularly like the delayed gratification that denying myself the junk brings.  BUT, after long thought focused on Steve’s comment, the delayed gratification FAR OUT WEIGHS any other possible benifit that junk food can give.  So for today I feel strong and healthy and resolved with new passion for my health goals.

How is my fear of failure molding my situation?

I am scared to gain it all back.  Unfortunately, the way my little mind works is that when I fear failure I tend not to try as to make sure I don’t fail.  Now taking a step back on this one shows that this is crazy because it is self-fulfilling.  I am scared to fail so I fail on purpose and do the exact thing I am afraid of. HAHAHAHA  No more of this.  The reality in this is that I can’t fail if I just continue to do what I know how to do as far as healthy living goes.  It is a no-brainer really.  I know what to do and that is to keep my eyes on the prize, don’t let go of it, and then make nice little decisions throughout everyday to ensure a victory.  This is not easy at all because the fear is still there but the fear is not as powerful as the full life that can be lived in health.  Self-sabotage many call it.

My addictive side?????

My addictive side grabs hold of that which makes me feel better.  This side of me will barely let go of the medicine.  So when I eat two candy bars with wonderful peanut butter and sugar inside, I feel better for the moment, then my addictive side says, “Oh hell yeah that felt good.  What is wrong with wonderfulness.  Lets keep doing this.”  Contrary to much popular advice that I recieve here and away, small dabbles in such wonderfulness are not a livable scenario for me.  I am often told it is MORE of a lifestyle when I allow this stuff into my life as it is less rigid but I just can’t live that way.  I know myself and taking this reality check helps me to realize that abstinence is the best way to go for several foods in this world.

Negative thinking?

I can get seriously deep into some negative thinking about myself and my journey.  So negative in fact that I can completely forget a good thing that I just accomplished.  This is crazy but it is a reality so why should I deny myself the knowledge of the truth or the opportunity to talk about it.  I can pick out one negative thing out of a sea of positive.  It can be a beautiful day out but I will see a cloud the size of a man’s hand 100 miles away.  HAHAHAHA  I am going to work on this.  WW is not really that hard and it is certainly not impossible.  What is hard is staying on track while I am off track.  The contrary actions.  The lying to myself that I am doing it when I am not doing it.  What the hell!  If I am not doing it I am just going to say to myself I am not doing it and then get back on track.

21
Aug
09

Finally! I had a good food day.

weight-watchers-stir-fried-beef-recipeI did good yesterday with my eating AND with my running.  I stayed right on track with  my points.  I am now eating 32 points per day being in weight loss mode and I ended up eating 35 points after dinner and dessert.  I ate a lot of filling healthy foods so I was satisified for most of the day.  I also resisted the temptation to give into my old habits and not stop at the mini-mart for pepperoni which has been all to common of late.  I feel good about having a victorious day and pray that I can string together many more as the days go on.  For dinner I had tilapia, veggies, half of a sweet potatoe, and a weight watchers “icre cream” dessert.  It actually was a relief to eat healthy.

My run yesterday also went really well.  It was an “easy” day with a 6 mile run at a slower pace.  The temperature was around 79 so it felt like I was running in the cool fresh autumn breeze as compared to the day before where I had to do a “hard” speed workout (10×800 @ 5k pace) in 101 degree heat.  Yesterday I was able to finish the workout as planned but the day before I had to be flexible and ended up only doing 4 reps at 5k pace, 5 reps at 10k pace and then the last rep at my marathon goal pace.  It was a very difficult workout.

I am really trying/working hard to think positive about WW and how I am doing on it.  The more negative I think the more negative I do.  I know without any doubt that the program will work wonders and take the weight off but if I don’t do the program it won’t work at all.  So I have done the program very well for a day and hope to add today as a victory also.

19
Aug
09

Inspiration and hardship!

matisyahuI guess I don’t really need to say AGAIN that I have been having a seriously hard time with food but I will.  My exercise is just fine with the exception that I don’t do any cross-training.  But as far as getting a good calorie burn for the week I am doing well.    It appears that my relationship with food has actually gotten worse as time goes on.   I try really hard but then end up falling for the pepperoni, chips, not counting dinner, etc.  With the amount of running I do (which really is not a lot by marathoner standards) I will not return to my previous weight but I can be/get at a weight that is not at all comfortable.  I guess it is a Romans 7 thing for food and weight loss.  I want so bad to do good but I keep doing what I don’t want to do and can’t seem to do what I really want to do.  Thank you RINGMASTER for helping me in this respect.   I know you don’t know that you helped me but you did.  A LOT.

I feel like I am swimming against the current in a vicious ocean yet when I look around I am just in a wave pool at some water park.  The current isn’t horrible or impossible but my strength wanes.  When I tire or my emotional strength fades, I grab the first life raft (food) possible.  It may appear that I am depressed or despondent. Yet the truth is that I have a great deal of inspiration to forge on, press on to more health, take another step in the right direction.  I have the inspiration to forget about the 50 steps that I might take backwards and the wisdom to take my first step forward.  It is a race for life with a loving God as my primary strength.  I have forgotten this completely.  And I mean completely but I thank Him for the special people who have reminded me of the depth, breadth, and relevance of the REAL race and the REAL strength.

So last night I ate like crap.  Bacon and macaroni and cheese.  That is gone now.  My shirt doesn’t fit like I want it too.  That is leaving now.  My belt doesn’t latch at the previous and glorious indention.  This will change.  I can no longer see the tiny bit of abs that I could see before.  Nevertheless I have hope.  I believe in that which is not yet seen .  I will not give up.  I will never despair.  I can change once again both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  He has not given up and neither will I.

So much to be thankful for.  So much to remember.  So much ground that has been gained.  Miracles that have happened to me and my body.  It is all real and today I chose to remember.  Below are some very potent and special lyrics.   Read them and ponder them.  They actually mean something.  If you can guess the author that would be cool too.  I put a picture of him at the top. HAHAHAHA  That is not me up there.

Sometimes I lay under the moon and thank God that I’m breathing. Then I pray dont’ take me soon ’cause I am hear for a reason.  Sometimes in my tears I drown but I never let it get me down, so when negativity surrounds; I know someday it’ll all turn around.

It’s not about win or lose because we all lose when they feed on the souls of the innocent. Blood drenched pavement.  Keep on movin’ though the waters stay ragin’.  In this maze you can lose your way it might drive you crazy but don’t let it faze you no way.  Sometimes in my tears I drown but I never let it get me down, so when negativity surrounds; I know someday it’ll all turn around.

15
Aug
09

Perspectives! Life changing!

different_perspectives_465635On my way to work this morning one of my favorite Christian songs from Kutless came on my Ipod.  I wanted to share some of the lyrics with all of you because I have always felt that these lyrics were so powerful.  Then I will talk about how they relate to life for my and my weight loss journey.

  • You feel like your life’s crashing down all around you.  Let me ask if it’s really so bad?  Look at the world and it’s suffering, can you honestly tell me that no one else can understand all of the hurting inside.
  • Why can’t you see, that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away. Who could you be.  If your lense was changed for a moment would you still be the same.
  • Yestertday you really couldn’t see, by changing your angle a new world will be.  Revealed to your once blinded eyes by moving a few degrees.

As I said at the top of this post, these lyrics are very powerful to me.  They are not ony relevant for my weight loss journey but for life in general.  In fact, it seems that “your perspective” is really all that matters some times.  Many times I get really down and blue.  During these times I focus on the negatives and fail to even basically believe that any of the positives exist at all.  This crushes me for the short period that I am like this.  This perspective causes bad food choices, binges, junk food love, sneak eating, negative talk about my body, self-perpectuating cycles of eat/guilt/eat/guilt.

I am in this negative perspective paradigm right now.  But what is the true perspective?  For all of us, when we feel so down about the journey; WHAT IS THE TRUE PERSPECTIVE?  HOW DO WE CHANGE OUR PERSPECTIVE?  I think that changing perspectives is a choice albeit a very difficult one.  I also think that the more time that you spend in one the harder it is to change to the other.  Take my body image for example.  I looked at a larger and more obese body for sooooo many years that even though that image is from the past now, it is like a took a still photo of it and I still see it in my persepctive in the mirror at times.  It is not the true perspective though and I am slowly (very slowly) coming  to terms with the real picture now.

I want to share my present view point and then share the “actual” one.

PRESENT PERSPECTIVE

  • I can’t lose the few pounds that I have gained
  • I am getting bigger by the day
  • Everything is sooo hard
  • I am a failure so I should just give in to all temptations
  • I am not feeling appreciated
  • Food helps me feel better
  • Eating healthy is boring
  • My job sucks

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE

  • I am very good at losing weight and I have proved that
  • I have gained some weight but I am still under WW goal weight
  • All things are possible through Him who strengthens me
  • I fail sometimes but I am not a failure.  I am blessed and healthy
  • Even though I may feel unloved, many people and especially God love me.
  • Eating healthy makes me feel more healthy
  • Eating healthy is a great way to spice things up.  Anyone can eat unhealthy junk
  • My job is a dream job for many people out there and having a job in general is a blessing.
  • I am not a fat blob!

It is so hard for me to look at the positive sometimes especially when I am feeling low and don’t want to put the effort into climbing out of the black hole.  But the good is ALWAYS there, it is ALWAYS real, it is ALWAYS there for the taking if I can just remember it.  If I can just be thankful and grateful for what I have and for what has happened along this journey.

I am not doing well on weight watchers.  Nobody turned on the “difficult” switch when I wasn’t looking.  The program is the same. I am still an endurance athlete and “fit as a fiddle” (as Robfitness says).  I will ask for God’s help to change my view of what is going on.  Change my view on how strong I am with Him.  To change my view on what is still and always has been possible.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!  ARE YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE?

07
Aug
09

What happened yesterday

SteakAs most of you know I was a little down in my mood yesterday.  I was worried that it would throw me off of my good string of WW days and kill the positive momentum that I was having.  Well, I did not do perfect but I think I still have a good chance of losing at the next WW weigh-in.  Here is everything I put into my mouth yesterday from morning until night.

 

 

 

 

 

Coffee

Cottage cheese

2 WW frozen dinners

Banana

Nectarine

Alternative bagel

WW cream cheese

Turkey

Popcorn

Fruit cup

Oatmeal Carrots

Hot dog

3 Tootsie pops (bad choice)

12 ounces of LEAN tenderloin (should have had less)

Veggies

2 hot dog buns

1 herbalife shake

All of this food added up to 51 points for the entire day.  I am not too entirely happy about the amount of points but it could have been FAR worse.  I dipped into my 35 weeklies and that is just fine.  So far since my weigh-in I have eaten

All my daily points

16 of my weekly flex points

I have earned 16 activity points

I plan to eat all of my weekly flex points and leave most of my activity points alone.  I will get a lot of AP’s this weekend as I will be running 46 miles.  This should give me around 50 AP’s.  I will eat some but certainly not most of them.  I would like to have around 30 AP’s left by next Wednesday’s weigh-in so that I can have at least one pounds worth of calorie deficit.

I am having serious doubts that I can lose the 15 pounds that I want to.  I don’t know why the switch in my mind got tripped and now I think it is hard to lose.  I have always thought it was hard to maintain but have also felt that losing was easy.  I hope all goes as planned.  I may not weigh-in on Wednesday since it will be after a marathon but I will definitely go to the meeting.

06
Aug
09

So far so good on WW weight loss.

Life is getting better

Weight Watchers

I have been doing WW the way it is supposed to be done now for three full days.  I can feel the positive momentum building up and the negative habits slowly but surely losing ground to a healthy life.  I have not really went off the tracks to bad but I have definitely allowed some bad eating habits to emerge once again.  I am so thankful for all the encouragement and help that I receive from the readers.  I weighed the same at my weight watchers meeting last night basically and the momentum has not had a chance to really take “weight loss effect” yet.  In another week or so things should be rolling pretty good.

Running

My running is progressing along just fine.  I did my speed-work last night and although it was difficult it was manageable even only two weeks after the 50 miler.  I have another hard run tonight and then a day off.  After that I am thrust into a HUGE running weekend.  I feel like my weight is impacting my running negatively.  I don’t weigh much more than I have in the past but even 8-10 lbs is a lot to carry for 26+ miles.  I can’t wait until I lose this weight again.

Emotions

I feel like I am on an upswing in the emotional area.  I am starting to be more positive again.  I have my doubts about being able to lose my 10-15 pounds, but I am trying not to dwell on those.  Rather, I am trying very hard to stay positive and believe that all things are possible through Him who strengthens me.  I have a major tendency to get depressed and when I do things tend to fall apart for WW.  I get a bit hopeless without logical reason.  I am working through this.

05
Aug
09

WW update: I am feeling much better for now.

001Since Monday, I have been doing very well on WW.  I have been feeling much better physically and emotionally.  I am feeling so depressed as I was and my eating seems to be WAY more under control now.  I will still need to go to the grocery store tonight in order to keep prepared and organized, but so far I have done well.  I am currently in a points deficit for the week.  I have not really messed up at all and I have actually counted and eaten my points properly.  I have been taking notes and counting my points  in an actually notebook since Monday too.  I decided upon the suggestion of others on the journey to give it a shot.  It is a little more real than just enterting the info. into the computer at the WW site.  I like it and hope to be able to keep at it like this.  My food choices have been good ones too.  I have not stopped at the gas station for pepperoni or chips or donuts for a little bit now, this feels tremendously good.  I think I might be on my way to developing the good habits again and doing away with the old bad ones that crept up again.

17
Jul
09

WW is going alright.

Well, this morning I am just checking in to let you all know that my WW journey over the last couple of days has been going well.  Not perfect, but good.  Mainly, I have not been eating donuts and pepperoni after work.  THis is a major downfall of mine and it is the basic root cause of my slowly inclining weight.  I still weigh within my WW range but I am going to go at least 8 more pounds down.  I don’t feel that good at this weight.  I am not as defined muscularly, I don’t feel as “light” on my feet, and it just plain makes me paranoid. 

All of this is good motivation though and unfortunately on maintenance you have to gain to stay the same.  I am still getting used to this strategy as it is much easier for me to “just lose”.s

16
Jul
09

Weight watchers weigh-in. Whew!

weigh-in-002I had my weigh-in last night and although this is an old picture, it is the exact place and attire of the evening.  The meeting was about dealing with vacation in a healthy way in order to maintain or lose while on it.  This is possible.  I have heard countless testimonies at my meetings of people losing on vacations.

I ended up losing 3 pounds exactly.  I was very happy as you could imagine.  I thought I would lose but you just never REALLY know.  Basically, I just did the WW program for the week.  I was not perfect BY A LONG SHOT but I did a much better job than on previous weeks.  This has boosted my confidence in my knowledge of the program and the belief that I can get back to the weight where I feel most comfortable.  I don’t feel comfortable at my current weigh even if it is lower than the WW goal for my height.

This week I will keep on keeping on.

P.S.- Meepa, I did a new post. HAHAHAHA

10
Jul
09

Being honest about yourself.

honest-beggarI need to be honest about who I am.  This is basic stuff that is easily forgotten.  I can try and convince myself that I am like someone else or that I have more “will power” than I actually do or that I am in perfect control but this gets me nowhere.  Being honest with myself will get me “somewhere” much closer to where I am trying to go.  This post is a spin off of yesterdays post. 

Let me give you a “word picture” of what it looks like when I am NOT honest with myself.  In my mind I start to think that I can do what I want with minimal consequences.  I mean shoot, lots of other people do it.  I say people eat whatever they want and stay think all the time and since I am NOW thin I can do the same.  I run a lot too so I have even more fudge room.  Anyway, so I start doing this and it works out for a little bit.  I start to become confident in my bodies ability fight off fat and not gain.  A week or two goes by and I have a gain but I blame it on a marathon or a long run.  This allows me to remain dishonest with my true personality.

Now let me give you what it looks like when I AM honest with myself.  I count what I eat because I know that weight loss, maintenance, and gain are all just dictated by a basic formula.  I even count the points that I eat during long runs and keep counting my points for the rest of the day after a maraton.  I may go a little hog wild but the next meal is right on track.  I never weigh myself because I can look at my numbers and know how I am doing because I have been honest with what I have consumed and burned.  I realize that it is not complicated to keep it off as long as I stay away from the junk that send me into the deep end.  To this end, I stay away from those things regardless of what I want or how much activity I have done.

Are you honest with yourself or do you believe your own little deceptions.  I believe the heck out of myself I tell ya.  Here are some basic statements that bring me back to reality.

  • I am pre-disposed to being addictive with food that have a high abuse potential.
  • I try and feel better by eating these foods but don’t end up accomplishing it.
  • I am a happier person when I am more rigid and experience success.
  • Junk food develops an addictive cycle in my life.
  • I need scheduled and organized grocery shopping outings.
  • I love to eat large quantities so I need to eat really healthy stuff so that I can.  Junky food or not, I am going to eat larger amounts.  I like bulk.
  • I never really missed the junk food that I am eating now when I was not eating it.  I wanted it in the “bad” moments but 15 minutes later the temptation was gone.

What about you guys?  Do you know yourself as a person and develop your eating and healthy living routine around the truth?

09
Jul
09

Running alone doesn’t keep the weight off!!

lisa_english_bulldog_running_123rfI know this might sound impossible but it is sooooo accurate.  Running/exercise will not keep you from gaining weight.  It can help you out a lot in the good fight for healthy but standing by itself it will not do it.  EATING! is the determining factor.  I mean you can gain, lose, or stay the same without exercise.  You might not be as healthy overall but your weight can be stablized or moved in the direction you desire.  Of course the best combination is using both exercise and proper eating to lose or maintain weight.  This is a hard lesson for me as a runner.  I dreamed of the possibility that running could offer me a carefree life regarding food and treats.  How far from reality my thinking was.

It is very easy to eat more than you burn while exercising.  Even after running 50 miles you can eat more calories than you burned even before you go to bed that night.  Here are some examples from real life calorie expenditures that I have experienced and what I could (and have) eat to still be able to gain.

  • 6 miles @ 7:28 pace= 857 calories.  My normal is to eat 3 maple bars.  This adds up to 1,380 calories.  I actually do this too!!!
  • Marathon @ 10:19 pace= 3,617 calories.  After this last marathon I ate: 32 oz of Mt. Dew @ 440 calories.  I then ate two sausages with buns: 1,100 calories.  I also had a two scoop ice cream cone at B&B: 565 calories.  So that is 2105 calories within about 2 hours of the marathon.  This does not include the 1,400 calories I ate during the marathon nor does it include my dinner and snacks later in the day.  So adding what I wrote up I have already consumed as many calories as I have burned just 2 hours after the race.

This are real life examples and it is here to prove to myself that eating is far more important in weight issues than is exercise for me.  I can do the exercise but I need to focus on proper eating again.  It is a myth that endurance  and vigorous exercise makes you hungry.  Good exercise actually supresses hunger.  It does not however supress the thoughts of entitlement to food though.  Hopefully you enjoyed a small journey into the depths of my life. HAHAHAHAHAHA

13
May
09

My weight watchers weigh-in results. Who would have known!

SJ40 me running

Here I am around the 20 mile mark of the Strolling Jim 40 Miler

I had my weigh-in last night.  I was figuring that I would gain 5 pounds and I was actually ok with that.  I skipped last week because I have always gained after a big race but I normally don’t keep the post race eating spree going for another week.  This time I kept it going my friends.  I kept my bad eating going from Sunday May 3rd to Tuesday May12th.  I am not proud of this but I wanted to tell you all the bare bones truth.  For this reason, I was expecting a gain but I was just going to take it for what it was.

How did I do you may be asking yourself.  WELL, I WEIGHED IN AT 183.4 LBS.  That means I stayed exactly the same weight.  I did not lose an ounce nor gain an ounce.  What an amazing thing this is.  I am so happy about it but I am not allowing this to proof that I can eat whatever and not gain weight.  My body is stabilizing at it’s happy weight but I know that I can make that weight go up in no time if I don’t care about what I eat.  So the eating spree is over for now.  I am back on WW track today and feel really good about that.

MY EATING SPREE’S.  NOW AND IN THE PAST.

One thing that I think might be the reason for why I did not gain is my perception of what an eating spree is.  Sure, these last two weeks have pretty much been off program but not in the same way as “off program” before WW.  Before WW, “off program” would have been a 3 foot log of summer sausage and half a pound of cheese each week.  It would have been a whole large pizza twice a week.  It would have been fried food after work but before dinner everyday.  It would have been a huge lunch out.  Now my “off program” is to eat pretty much on WW all day long and ate night I go off of program.  “Off program” now means that I might eat a small bag of chips on the way home from work before I work in the yard but I skip dinner because I am working.  It means that I go out to eat but don’t count my points but actually end up eating the salmon with veggies and might even have some of the bread.  It means that I snack on some crackers and eat several bites of my wife’s cake.  It means that I eat the more calorie packed subway sandwich instead of the loads of fried food.  I guess what I am trying to say but not justify, is that now when I go off program I am still eating a million times better as compared to when I was NEVER on program.

Does that make any sense.

05
May
09

Weight watchers tonight but no weigh-in for me!!

another afterTonight I am going to go to weight watchers but I am not going to weigh in.  I feel no need to see or know my weight after an ultra-marathon.  I have as a tradition always gained weight after such events so I am going to spare myself unneeded disappointment.  Even though I have always gained and things always even out later, I still know myself enough to know I will not like to “SEE” the gain.  I really don’t know exactly why I or anyone else would gain after running 40 miles but it is a reality.  Maybe it is swelling and water retention.  Maybe it is just plain stress reaction to the effort.  Who knows!!

After the meeting I of course am going to eat and watch the biggest loser with my sister.  Hopefully if time allows, I will post about my reaction to the final show before the finals in the morning.

Other than that, I am feeling much better muscle wise today.  My soreness will be completely gone by tomorrow and I am hoping that my stomach issues will be done by then too.  My wife says that my stomach always bothers me after ultr-marathons but I don’t recall it myself.  I guess that is why I keep doing them in the first place, I just don’t tend to remember the pain and suffering. HAHAHAHAHA